What the Absolute F***

　　郑叹呆在树上,下面那只猫以及远处那只声音有些熟悉的猫都在叫唤着,像是在召唤同伙,郑叹听着也有些想嚎一嚎,可他知道,自己一大声嚎,东区大院那边估计就会闹起来,所以还是憋着了,他不想把大院那边的给惹起来,那边爱挑事的家伙多得去了,挑起来这晚上就不得安宁.

Zheng Tan stayed at the top of the tree. The cat on the ground and the familiar one in the distance continued to exchange howls, as if they were collecting their comrades. Listening to all of this, Zheng Tan was tempted to join in. But he knew the moment he started to howl, the Western quarters would be up in arms. He knew better to simply suppress this feeling. He wasn't intending to rouse up the entire quarters. They were not short of ones who liked to incite situations. If they started something, we could all forget about the peace that had lasted most of the night.

　　周围已经传来嗖嗖的轻响,郑叹看了看,大概又来了四只猫,看这四只猫奔跑的样子,不像是带伤的,或许并不是前些天的那批,那位未曾谋面的驯猫师手下未必只有那么两三只猫.

A whizzing sound had already spread in the nearby vicinity. Zheng Tan took a look and saw four other cats enter the area. These cats lacked wounds, or perhaps, they weren't the group from the other day. The cat tamer he had yet to meet probably had more than 2 or 3 cats in his service.

　　虽然不是上次的那批,但郑叹记仇还是记在它们身上.

Though it wasn't the group from the last time, Zheng Tan still had revenge wrought in his mind.

　　一挑五?

One against five?

　　不,郑叹还是选择各个击破.

No, he was going to destroy every single damn one of them.

　这些猫都是训练过的,换个成年人过来也少不得挨几爪子,它们可不是那只被"柔化"的豹纹猫.猫爪子不长眼,郑叹不想挨爪.过程不重要,结果一样就行.

These were all trained cats. Even if a grown person were here, they would have suffered at least a few scratches from these cats. They weren't like that "soft" leopard cat. Cat claws didn't aim with precision and Zheng Tan wasn't keen to get hit by a claw either. The process wasn't all that important, as long as the result were the same.

　　郑叹将第一个目标选择的是那只最大的,也就是刚才追着自己过来开吼的那只,它给郑叹的感觉最危险.至于另外四只,让它们跟着在后面窜好了.

Zheng Tan zoned in on his first target. The largest of the group. The one that chased him all this way and started the howling contest. He had the most killing intent. As for the other four, they could all follow along and try to play catch up.

　　召唤过来同伙之后,那只猫看上去凶性也起来了,爬上树朝郑叹过去,还朝郑叹呲牙,发出威胁似的低吼,在这片原本安静的林子里显得很有心理和气势上的压迫感.

After gathering all it's comrades, its fierceness flared up. It scaling the tree, trying to reach Zheng Tan. It ground its teeth and delivered threatening growls. Now psychological and imposing pressure existed in this originally quiet forest..

　　不过郑叹可不是只真正的猫,而且猫不是猴子,在树上打架的局限性还是很大的,相对来说,郑叹的优势比它要大得多.很显然,这猫也并不适应郑叹这种在树之间跳动的跑法,跳的时候虽然不像另外几只那样迟疑段时间,但毕竟没什么经验,着落点不那么准确,郑叹就是瞧中这点,找准机会踹了一脚,不出意外直接将那只猫给踹了下去.

However Zheng Tan wasn't a proper cat nor were cats monkeys. There were still a number of limitations to battling it out in the trees. Relatively speaking, Zheng Tan still had the upper hand. It was obvious that his opponent wasn't adept at running and jumping through the tree canopies. Though when it jumped, it wasn't as hesitant as the other cats. Still, due to the lack of experience, its landings were always off footing. Zheng Tan zoned in on this point and without a hitch, he found an opening to lash out and slam the cat down onto the forest floor..

　　下方的树枝比较多,那只猫勾住了一根树枝作为缓冲,然后才落在地上的草丛里.挨了郑叹一脚,还能有这反应也着实不错了.在它刚落地还没站稳的时候,郑叹已经从树上窜了下来,上去就是一爪子.

There were numerous tree branches below. That cat hooked onto a branch to help reduce its fall and landed in the grass. After receiving a blow from Zheng Tan, this cat didn't look terrible. Before the cat could properly catch its footing, Zheng Tan already leapt down from the trees and immediately clawed his opponent.

　　然后,挠下来一爪子毛.

He came out with a claw-full of hair.

　　所以说,像这种浑身长着厚厚的长毛的就跟穿着一件软铠甲一般,总能将对方的攻击力减弱许多.也正因为这样,郑叹不可能像对待那只豹纹短毛猫那样直接挠这只猫.

And this was exactly why cats with thick and long hair were said have on a layer of armor. It reduced the strength of an opponent's attack. Due to this fact, he couldn't use the tactics that worked on the short hair leopard printed cat.

　　爪子不能很好地解决问题,那就直接用揍的吧.

If claws weren't ideal in this situation, he was all for giving a good beating.

　　虽然没用全力,为了防止泄露一些自己的秘密,郑叹还是收敛了些,即便如此,两巴掌一脚,对于这只刚从树上掉落下来的猫而言也是不轻的打击.

Zheng Tan didn't use his full strength and held back in order to not reveal certain secrets. Still, handing out two slaps and a kick was pretty intense for a cat that had just fell out of a tree.

　　郑叹看出来只猫的腿好像受伤了,要么扭伤要么骨折,一般受这类伤的时候不能随意乱动,尤其是骨折.不过,这家伙看上去却依旧那么凶,张大嘴低吼着,耳朵后压,浑身的毛炸起的时候体型膨胀,显得更有威慑力,可惜对郑叹没用,但也不可小觑,刚才郑叹上去揍的时候,要不是闪得快,就被这家伙抓伤了,旁边那棵树树干上的树皮都被勾下来一块.

Zheng Tan saw that this cat's leg had suffered some damage. If it wasn't a sprain, then it was probably a broken bone. Normally, if a cat had received such a wound, it wouldn't randomly move about, especially if it was a broken bone. However, this one looked equally as aggressive as before. It opened its mouth and started to howl. It pressed it ears against its head. All its fur was standing on end and enlarged its shape, to create further threats. Unfortunately, this would be ineffective on Zheng Tan. Just previously when he went up to attack, if it wasn't for his quick reflexes, he would've been put in harm's way. Instead, a nearby tree had its bark clawed off.

　　将从侧面扑过来的一只猫抽边上,郑叹正准备再继续给面前这只长毛猫两巴掌让它闭嘴,突然耳朵动了动,退到一棵粗壮的大树旁边,如果形势不对就先窜上树.

A cat attacked from the side, but he immediately pushed the cat away. He was still preoccupied with giving the cat in front of him another slap to make sure it shut up. Suddenly his ears twitched and he positioned himself behind a large tree. If things didn't look good, he'd climb back into the trees.

　　当郑叹看到窜出来的那三个身影的时候,放心了点.来的正是阿午的那三只,郑叹这时候也记起来,刚才远处的那声吼就比较像那只白身黑尾的名叫桂圆的猫发出的叫声.

Once he got a good look at the three bodies that appeared, he let out a sigh. It was A Wu's three cats. Recalling the familiar howl, Zheng Tan pinpointed its origin to the white bodied black tailed cat called Gui Yuan.

　　郑叹身后的一棵树上有一只猫跳下来,朝这边扑过来,郑叹刚准备转身抽一巴掌,一个身影从灌木丛窜出,带着与身形不符的敏捷跳起,直接将郑叹背后的那只猫给压在地上,压得那只猫发出"哇呜——"的尖声惨叫.

A cat jumped down from a tree right behind Zheng Tan, and ran towards his direction. Zheng Tan was fully prepared to turn around and smack the intruder. From out of the thicket, a full bodied cat who's shape didn't match its nimble movements, tackled the cat behind Zheng Tan and fully pressing it against the ground. The cat that was pressed on the ground let out a horrible shriek. "Wawuuuu——"

　　大胖这家伙,平时看起来又懒又和善,但凶起来战斗力绝对比警长强,这个郑叹一直都知道.但他没想到这时候大胖会跑这儿来,老太太肯定嘱咐过它不准乱跑,要是老太太发现这胖子跑出来,不知道会急成什么样,这次事情结束后大胖回去大概会被罚蹲方便面.

This Fatty. Usually he just lazed around, he wasn't the type to get aggressive and partake in a fight. But when it came down to it, he had more abilities than Sheriff. Zheng Tan always knew of this fact, but he never expected Fatty to run all the way out here. The granny probably told him multiple times not to run off. If she could see him now, she'd be throwing an anxious fit. After they were done with this situation, Zheng Tan expected Fatty to be sitting on instant noodles packets again, as goes the usual punishment.

　　大胖跑这儿来,估计是听到桂圆的那一声吼,不过能够过来,郑叹还是很感动的,能看出大胖并不在桂圆那三只猫的阵营之内,那三只猫之间的配合太好,大胖也没想要加进去的意思,过来的原因,多半是为了帮郑叹.

Fatty probably came all the out here after hearing Gui Yuan's howling. Despite everything, Fatty made it out here and this single action greatly moved Zheng Tan. It was obvious that Fatty wasn't here to join Gui Yuan's group. Those three worked together to create an amazing team. Fatty probably had no intention of even joining in the first place. The reason for coming was probably just to back up Zheng Tan.

　　不愧是猫兄弟!够义气!

Cat brotherhood was the best! This is what the brotherhood code should be about.

　　虽然阿午不在附近,但看桂圆它们三只猫之间的配合,显然这种事情并不是第一次碰到,就像那些小偷猫自己偷钱包的基础技能一样,桂圆它们三个联合作战也是熟练得很.桂圆冷静总能选择最好的时机,莲子攻击力不高但胜在灵活,而长毛猫八宝抗抓,这家伙的性子有些像警长,属于越战越猛型,有另外两只在旁边,它也不会太独断独行.

Zheng Tan deduced that this wasn't the first time the three cat brothers faced such a situation. A Wu wasn't in the vicinity, yet the three of the them were fully in sync. Just like the basic skills learned by the thieving cats, Gui Yuan and his group's cooperation came from past experiences. Gui Yuan's calm demeanor allowed him to always grasp the best opportunity. Lian Zi's attack wasn't strong but he made up for it with his quick wit. Where as the long-haired Ba Bao was a defense wall against claw attacks. This guy's personality was similar to Sheriff. The more he fought, the more he would feel the thrill of it. But with the other two there, he wasn't going to change tactics and tackle the battle as an individual.

　　瞧到这一幕,郑叹只能说,这不愧是被阿午训练出来的,不像警长它们平时打架时那么散漫.

Witnessing this scene unfold before him, Zheng Tan could only admire A Wu's work. This was nothing like Sheriff's usually spaced out battles.

　　猫与猫PK的时候,不止会到处跑动,还会发出低吼或者其他叫声.郑叹并不用这种方式,所以刚才这儿也还算安静,但来的猫一多,阵营一对上,这安静的小林子就热闹了.

When cats decided to PK, not only would the scatter all about, they would also produce low growls and other such sounds. Zheng Tan didn't follow this set of rules, so it was previously rather quiet. But the moment more cats joined in on the battle, and teams were pitted against each other, the quiet forest was filled with commotion.

　　这里离东区大院也不算太远,如果在白天的话,东区大院那边未必会注意到这边林子的动静,可现在是晚上,而且这片区域晚上很安静,两边的猫打架的时候发出高低不等的叫声,再加上刚才估计八宝那家伙打架打得太激动吼了一嗓子,带动另外几只吼起来,还有被郑叹揍趴下还没能起来走动的那只猫,虽然不是一直持续这样叫,但大院那边有猫听到了.

This area wasn't too far from the western quarters. It wasn't likely that commotion from this area would even be noticed in the day time. However, in the evenings, it was dead quiet and the cats here, in the midst of the fight, were producing all types of low and high pitched howls. Ba Bao's howls from the excitement of the battle, had led cats in the vicinity to howl along. There was also howls from the cat that Zheng Tan had slapped down and had yet to arise. Though the howling wasn't continuous, it had reached the ears of the cats from the quarters.

　　东区大院里,二毛正在洗澡,突然听到自家黑米大声嚎起来,身上水都没擦直接裸着出来,反正家里就他一个人,也不怕被人看到.

In the western quarters, Er Mao was in the middle showering and suddenly heard Barley howling loudly. Without wiping off with a towel, he walked out completely naked. He was the only person in the house. Not like he was scared of anyone seeing him.

　　二毛出来的时候就见到黑米站在阳台栏杆上对着一个方向大叫.吓得赶紧跑阳台将黑米抱进室内.好在这时候大晚上的也没谁注意这边,不然肯定会发现这儿有个裸男.

Er Mao walked out and saw Barley on the balcony beam howling off into the distance. Freaked out, he caught Barley from the balcony and brought her back into the apartment. Thankfully no one was looking in his direction at this time of night, or else they'd have discovered a nude man.

　　在黑米叫的时候,警长和阿黄都在家里叫唤着挠门,可惜都被看得紧紧的,没让出门.

At the the same time that Barley was howling, Sheriff and Tiger also started to circle around their respective doors. Unfortunately, they had their owner's eyes on them. There was no chance of them leaving the house.

　　一时间,东区大院又吵起来了,猫叫声,还有那几只唯恐大院不乱的狗扯着嗓门狂吠.

Suddenly, the western quarter's erupted in commotion. The howling of cats was accompanied by the barking of dogs who were tense, suspecting trouble brewing in the quarters.

　　大院每次出现这种情况的时候,不是有小偷就是有猫贩子,所以这次一听到动静,门卫大叔就通知校保卫处.

Every time something like this occurred in the quarters, if it wasn't robbers it was cat thieves. So this time, after hearing the commotion. The guard at the building notified the security team.

　　最着急的还是焦妈和大胖家的老太太,周围邻居劝也劝不住,没等保卫处的人过来,就拿着手电筒出去找猫,二毛将黑米放在宠物包里,拎着包跟焦妈他们一起出门,住焦家对门的屈向阳再次帮忙看孩子.

Mama Jiao and Fatty's elderly granny were wrought with worry. The neighbors weren't able to calm them down. Without waiting for the guard to come back, they took matters into their own hands. Bringing out flashlights, they went out to search for their cats. Er Mao put Barley in her pet bag. Carrying the bag, he went out with Mama Jiao and the others. The Jiao's neighbor Qu Xiang Yang was again tasked with looking after the kids.

　　除这些之外,B栋四楼也没静下来.

Apart than this, B building's fourth floor wasn't quieting down either.

　　"放我出去!放我出去——"将军用脚趾哐哐踩着铁网.

"Let me out! Let me out——" General thrashed about the metal netting.

　　"你晚上出去就是个瞎子!"屋里刚被吵醒的覃教授怒道.

You're completely blind if you think you are going out tonight!" Roared the newly awakened professor Tang.

　　一般来说,晚上大部分鸟视力下降,也不怎么叫,出去的话很容易迷路,鹦鹉也是这样,晚上的时候它会静静地躲起来,正因为如此有很多鹦鹉爱钻人被窝,将军以前也钻过,自从某次在被窝里拉屎之后,就被覃教授扔出去睡笼子.

On average, birds had decreased visibility in the evening and were not the noisy type. If they went out, it was almost guaranteed that they would become lost. Parrots were also like this. In the evening, they would quietly hide away. And this was why many parrots tended to burrow into their owner's blankets. General had burrowed before, but after that one time he'd left droppings in the bed, professor Tan had thrown him back into the cage to sleep.

　　将军算是鹦鹉中比较特殊的例子了,有时候晚上兴致好不睡觉,虽然不会大叫,但也会低声唱点小曲自娱自乐,因为不会打扰人,它饲主覃教授也就随便它了,

General was a special case amongst parrots. Sometimes, when he was in a good mood in the evening, he wouldn't sleep. Though he wouldn't cause a ruckus, he would still sing songs in a low voice to keep himself entertained. Since this wouldn't bother others , professor Tang just left him to his own devices.

　　听到覃教授的训斥声后,将军停顿了一下,然后继续踩铁网,踩得更大声了,嘴里还跟唱戏似的嚷嚷着:"放~我~出~去~~"

Hearing professor Tang's reprimanding voice, General suddenly stopped, then continued to kick at his cage. Making even louder noise than before. Using his opera voice he sang: "Let~Me~Out~~"

　　"滚去睡觉!"

"Damn it! Go to sleep!!"

　　与此同时,郑叹这边,形势一片大好.

Meanwhile on Zheng Tan's side, everything was looking good.

　　虽然郑叹自己一个也能够解决这几只猫,但既然有帮手,郑叹也能腾出空早点去找那个驯猫师.

Even though Zheng Tan could deal with all these cats on his own, with the available help, he used this opportunity to slip out to find the cat trainer.

　　郑叹选择这个小林子的另一个原因是,这里的地形和林子周围的布置方便他寻找那个背后的驯猫师.

The other reason that Zheng Tan picked this forest was because this terrain made it all the easier to to find the thieving mastermind.

　　此时那位驯猫师正躲在一个雕像后面拿着夜视镜观察着,他最近也不好过,警方那边盯得紧,还有另一个驯猫师阿午在背后等着,好不容易听说阿午不准许靠近楚华大学,他才选择楚华大学下手,没想到会在这里失手.

Coincidentally, that cat trainer who was hidden behind a statue, peered through the night vision goggles to observe the situation. Things weren't going too well for him recently. The cops had everything under tight scrutiny, and that other cat trainer A Wu was after him. He recently managed to learn that A Wu was barred from entering Chu Hua university campus. That's why he chose to act on Chu Hua campus. Never did he expect things to turn out this way.

　　上次没出动"老大",损伤严重,这次下狠心决定报复回去,换了一批健康的,由"老大"领队,可他也没想到的是,一个大学里面,打架厉害的猫竟然这么多!

He didn't send out "boss" last time and so their team sustained plenty of injuries. This time he was determined to lash out. He sent out a healthy group and with "boss" at the head to lead them. But how could he expect there to be so many good fighters at this campus!

　　像这种校园里的猫不是应该更温顺些的么?

Cats that lived on campus should be more docile, right?

　　可是,事实是,上次他训出来的四只猫对上那两只猫只能说惨胜,这次更是一开始"老大"就折了,后面来的这几只也不是什么温和的角色,而且,阿午的那三只猫竟然出现在这里!

But, truth be told, the four cats he sent to the battle against the two cats only came back in a meager win. This time, before anything could happen, the "boss" was already beaten down and the other cats that he had join the fight weren't of the gentle temperament either. It was just his luck that A Wu's three cats had to turn out here too.

　　这位驯猫师此刻心思千回百转,可还没等他琢磨出个所以然来,就发现,把自己好不容易训出来的"老大"轻易揍趴下的那只猫,竟然会直接朝自己跑过来!

At this time, the cat trainer's mind was doing somersaults. Without even logically grasping the situation, he found the cat that had beaten down the "boss" he'd spent large amounts of time training, sprinting right towards him!

　　卧了个大槽的!

What the absolute f***!

　　那驯猫师也不管林子里的猫了,转身就跑,林子里自己的猫正被压着打,分不出空来帮他.而且,他驯猫这些年,当然能够判别出哪些猫好惹,哪些猫不好惹.对上这只猫,还是先跑为妙.

That cat trainer wasn't going to care about the cats in the forest, he needed to save himself first. His cats in the forest were on the defense. They couldn't leave to help him. Especially, after training cats all these years, he knew which cats he could deal with and which ones were more difficult. Against this cat, he best option was to run.

　　在郑叹追那个驯猫师的时候,二毛根据黑米的反应,带着老太太和焦妈往小林子这边寻了过来.

While Zheng Tan was chasing after the cat trainer, Er Mao maneuvered through the forest according to Barley's reactions to guide both the old granny and Mama Jiao in their search.

　　大胖听到老太太叫自己的名字,使劲咬了口被它再次压着得的猫,然后跑出林子,跳到老太太怀里.

Fatty, hearing the old granny calling for him, forcefully bit into the cat he had on the ground and ran out of the forest to leap into the old granny's arms.

　　老太太颤抖着手让二毛帮忙打着电筒看自家猫的情况,大胖嘴边还粘着不知道是哪只猫身上的猫毛,反正看颜色不是大胖身上的.光线不好,小伤不容易发现,但也没看到什么大伤,老太太顿时放下心来.

The old granny trembled as she handed off her flashlight to Er Mao and began to frantically search Fatty to check his condition. Some cat fur still hung to the corner of Fatty's mouth. Based on the colour, it wasn't his. With the current lightning, it was hard to find any small wounds, but not seeing any massive wounds, the old granny was instantly relieved.

　　焦妈继续喊着自家猫,要不是二毛拉着,估计就进林子里去了.那林子里猫叫声听着忒瘆人.

Mama Jiao continued to yell for her cat. If it wasn't for Er Mao, she would have already dove into the forest. The sounds being produced from the forest were deafening.