I see something in you

You should, hahahaha, you should see the look on your face. Hahahaha." She had to the tears forming in her eyes. The shock that had flashed across his face was priceless. "I'm kidding, I'm joking. It was a joke. I'm single I promise." She was letting herself calm down, "I just like the cologne, what is it?" He swung his arm around her head and pulled her in. He started pinching her side, "I'm not fucking telling you now." They both cracked up again. I had nothing to be nervous about. She's amazing. My sides hurt, I haven't laughed like this is a very long time.

He stopped his attack on her side, "It's Chanel, it's called Bleu." She kept her head on his chest and tilted up. He could feel her breath on his neck, and it sent a shiver up his spine. "Hmmm it's nice." She sat back up and locked eyes with Sanzu. Then she let her gaze wander his face a little, picking up its small details. She could feel him doing the same. She looked back into his eyes and flashed them down to his lips.

Haruchiyo stiffened and let go of her sides. These damn scars. His jaw went slack. He picked up his hand and covered the lower half of his face. He ran his fingers down his jaw and wiped his mouth. Popping his jaw before he started tightening it, he wanted to clench his teeth together.

Y/n tentatively raised her hand from his neck. He thinks I'm looking at his scars. She reached to caress his face and show him what her intention was. But then the van stopped.

Akashi hit the interior separating the front and back of the van, snapping Y/n out of her trance. They had reached their destination. "We're here!" he yelled. The back of the van opened, and it started to empty. Sanzu unbuckled them from the passenger seat. He opened the door, "There, you be careful getting out alright?" Y/n nodded to him apprehensively and slowly broke their embrace. Maybe I should've carried her out, carried her into the house, just keep her there the rest of the night. Sanzu watched her attentively get out of the van, keeping a hand out in case she needed to balance herself.

He was about to exit the vehicle himself when Takeomi grabbed onto his arm. "Stay here a minute." The driver lit a new cigarette. Haruchiyo spread out and sat back into the passenger seat. He clapped his hands against his knees, "What do you need Akashi?" Bonten's executive took his time, slowly dragging out his first hit. Exhaling twice as slow. "I just want to remind you that you have an important job to do tonight, Akashi."

Sanzu's first reaction was shock at the pure audacity of Takeomi. He wouldn't satisfy his older brother with the reaction he wanted. He just laughed, a small giggle that turned into a shrieking laugh. It wasn't funny, it was unnatural. The way Sanzu could turn laughter into something so sinister was unnatural.

"I just want to remind you that in the chain of command I'm number two. I'll be getting the job done regardless. I'll also remind you that if you ever call me that again you'll have a bullet lodged into your skull before you can finish your sentence." He scowled at the man sitting next to him. It was Takeomi's turn to laugh, dry and humorless.

"It doesn't matter you know," he looked over at Sanzu lazily before turning his attention back to his cigarette and cracked window, "it doesn't matter how much you pretend. You can pretend to be gentle, pretend to be kind, you can pretend to be...to be normal. But it isn't going to work. Because you're a monster. You're a psychopath. I know it. The other executives and members of Bonten know it. Enemies know it. Hell, deep down inside you know it. Keep on pretending but you know who you are." Another dry chuckle left his mouth and a smokers' cough, he leaned in now closer to Haruchiyo who had folded in on himself. Hands clasped together, arms resting on his knees, giving attention to every word coming out of Takeomi's mouth. In a low venomous whisper his older brother continued, "Pretend all you want Haruchiyo, but you'll ruin her eventually."

Akashi sat back in his original position, flicked the ash of his cigarette. "You'll break her into pieces, and you know what? When you do I'll be there to pick up all the fragments and put her back together." Takeomi opened the door, got out of the van, and walked away triumphant smile on his face. Leaving Sanzu alone with the weight of those words and internal chaos.

Am I really pretending? Am I pretending just to make her happy? To make me happy? I feel fucking sick. I really am a low life. No no no no. I'm a big fucking deal, I've put in too much work. Blood sweat tears. Stop fucking shaking HARU. I became the man I'm supposed to be for a reason. I'm just trying to do right by her. I want to be right for her. I don't need to change myself for some bitch I just met tonight. She's got my soul, do I even have a soul? She won't give up on me. She should just be willing to give into me as I am. Who I am. Who am I?

I am Sanzu Haruchiyo, I am number two in command in Bonten, and I am a fucking monster.

Sanzu punched the dashboard of the van and stormed out of the vehicle. What had once been a tourist bed and breakfast was home to Bonten executives and their boss. He walked inside, to his left the living room, his right the dining room. Empty, empty. He made his way to the double doors of the kitchen and entered. The group had congregated in there. Where the living room connected to the kitchen was a card table. Diamond and the other dancer were there with Kimura playing what looked like Go Fish. Quick eye contact with Diamond and Haruchiyo straightened his pointer finger running it under his nose. He needed more Xanax, a line of it.

Senju, Nami, and Y/n sat where the kitchen became the dining room. Hajime, the Haitanis, and Sapphire joined them. Whatever Koko had just said left Y/n belly laughing. Doesn't matter who gives you attention huh. Kakucho and Akashi were outside on the large deck conversing with each other.

As he walked by the card table headed towards the half bathroom, Diamond slipped him another bar of the antianxiety medication. Ken Mori was exiting the bathroom when Sanzu approached it to enter.