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New And Improved Harry Potter

作品衍生
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摘要

When a wonky potion wipes Harry's memory, he turns into a sly and clever dude. Forget his old self – now he's all about outsmarting everyone and shaking things up. With his wits sharp, he's not playing by the rules anymore. Harry's newfound attitude shakes up the school as he refuses to be controlled. Expect plenty of foul language, a touch of character criticism, and loads of sci-fi nods. Harry's not just any wizard—he's a bit of a jerk. Get ready for a wild ride as Harry spins his own story, outthinking folks left and right. ====== Disclaimer I do not assert any ownership over anything. J. K. Rowling owns everything.

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Chapter 1Lost

"He must compete…" the words echoed over and over in our champion's head as he stumbled blindly through the castle. He didn't want to go back to the dorms yet. He was in too much shock that the adults were making him participate in this stupid tournament. He had thought for sure that Dumbledore would stand by him, but the headmaster didn't.

As a matter of fact, the old man had done the exact opposite and stated that he must compete. It was that man's determination that the young teen was now in a magically binding contract, that broke our hero's mind. For if Dumbledore couldn't get him out, then he must truly be stuck participating.

The teen wandered aimlessly as his brain circled over his dilemma, until his breathing became erratic as did his pulse, and sweat poured down his forehead. He needed to calm down. He couldn't think like this, everything was so unclear.

So, without even realizing it he turned his steps to the dungeons where he'd seek some Calming Draught. He had no desire to go to the Hospital Wing since he knows Madam Pomfrey will just keep him overnight. He just wanted to be alone to figure out how he was going to get out of his latest predicament.

His footsteps echoed the empty halls as he slowly walked through them. His mind was running a mile a minute, and he was paying very little attention to where he was going. In a daze he opened the Potions' classroom door and headed towards Snape's office.

There was a sludge-like resistance, it made him feel like he was wading in shallow waters. But he was determined to get the needed potions, so he carelessly waved his hand and it went away. He stumbled blindly into the office and looked at the hazy labels, but everything was unfocused.

Why couldn't he see, was his body rebelling? He needed to clear his head. He shook his head and looked for the correct color. There was a tingling in the back of the room, so he headed there. He instinctively went to a locked cabinet where the pulse of magic was coming from.

There appeared to be a barrier on the door, so with a thoughtless wave of his hand he cleared it. Opening the wooden door and spotting green, he blindly reached for the vial and lifted it off the shelf. He popped the cork and took a long pull, grimacing at the dirty sock taste.

'Wait, dirty socks, that's not…' was the incomplete thought as the potion hit him and his eyes rolled in the back of his head as he slammed to the floor. The glass container tinkled as it hit the stones and rolled near his feet.

The Bloody Baron was making his rounds of the lower-levels of Hogwarts when he heard the body and glass fall. So, he drifted to the scene and saw a boy in a Gryffindor uniform on the floor. Heaving a great sigh at the stupidity of that House, he went to get the Potions Master.

Floating through the wall, he came up on the man sitting in his study, reading. "Potion Master Snape, there is one of Gryffindor's students in your office, who appears to have overdosed on something," the apparition stated coolly as if this happened every day, while truth be told it only happened once or twice a decade.

"Dammit, of all the dunderheaded things to do," the greasy-haired man snarled as he slammed closed his book and got up. "It is probably some fool thinking that the Cheering Draught will give him the euphoria of cannabis," he stated, hating when Muggle-born teens discovered that particular drug. He headed to the office and when he spotted our hero, he growled. "Get up, you foolish child," he said, waving his wand and spelling him awake.

"Who the hell are you?" the dark-haired teen stated groggily as he pulled himself up. He adjusted his glasses and shook his head to clear it, but everything was still fuzzy. He had no idea who the man in front of him was, but he looked like someone you stayed far away from if you could help it. The greasy hair, the crooked teeth, dressed all in black; yeah not someone you would want to meet in a dark alley.

"Do not play stupid with me, Potter. What are you doing in here? How did you even get past the wards? No, you are too senseless and feeble to have done it yourself. You must have had an upper-year do it for you, was it the twins? Never mind I will find out, but for now it will be detention for a month for stealing from a teacher," the vile man sneered, happy to finally have a legitimate reason to punish the boy. He grabbed the teen and started yanking him towards the door. "Get out of my office and if I ever see you in here again, I will make sure you are expelled."

"What are wards? What twins? What the fuck are you talking about? I don't even know who the hell you are. Get away from me, you creepy bat!" the now named Potter yelled, pulling away from the grip on his arm, and slamming into the wall behind him. His wild eyes were glancing around the room, taking in the fact that it looked like something out of a horror movie from the telly.

There were vials and jars of… things that were floating in goo and sludge. The man in front of him looked like a villain off a comic book, perhaps he was a mad-scientist. The dark-haired teen worried about where he was but was even more concerned over the fact that he didn't know who he was. But, he wasn't going to tell the strange person this.

"Do not play stupid with me, Potter. This is no time for one of your pranks," the dark man yelled as he yanked the teen up further from his slouched position, who once more jerked from his grasp and hit the wall. "You are coming with me to the Headmaster's office for sneaking out after curfew and disrespecting a professor," the now claimed teacher stated as he once more tried to grab the boy.

Potter saw this and ducked, putting his foot forward so he could evade the grabby hand, he heard a crunching of the glass vial under his foot. He looked down and saw green goo seeping out from under his shoe. He lifted his foot and tried to shake it off as he stepped away from his tormentor.

Snape, upon hearing the noise, also looked down. He picked up the broken vial and when he saw the label he paled. His eyes darted around the room, as he looked to make sure what he saw was real. 'He couldn't have… that cabinet is warded against students.

How did he get in there?' his mind frantically thought. Then he stared at his most hated student and noted his completely confused look. "You stupid fool, how much of this did you take?" he snarled at the teen, waving to the broken glass under the kids nose.

"I didn't take anything," Potter snapped, leaning away from the hook-nosed man, who was in his face again. Like he would touch anything in this room, it all looked like experiments gone wrong. His nose wrinkled at the thought, though his mouth did have a dirty sock taste to it, which made him wonder how he knew what dirty socks tasted like.

"If you had only sipped this vial then you would merely be… dazed," the Potions Master hedged, thinking of the ramifications of the Boy-Who-Lived overdosing on an experimental potion. "I can't tell from the amount on the floor," he mumbled, trying to evaluate how much the child had taken. If it had only be a sip he would be easily controlled, much like the Imperius, but the boy seemed to be completely without memory. What to do?

The wary teen saw that his tormentor was distracted, so he ducked passed him and ran. When he saw the ghost of the Bloody Baron, he ran faster. 'What the hell kind of place is this?' he wondered as he rabbited through the dungeons. He passed talking portraits and suits of armor that seem to move to grab him.

He twisted and turned and didn't stop for even a second. He eyes were wild with what he was seeing and all of it made him run faster. 'This place is crazy,' was the thought running through his mind as he followed the torch lite halls, until he came to some stairs. He took a deep breath and started up them.

There at the top were a set of large double-doors. He sprinted forward and pulled one side open. Running outside towards the wall that appeared to be surrounding the large stone building, his only thought was to escape this madhouse.

As he ran, tried to get his bearings. There was a gate in front of him, so he went in that direction. There is a dark forest to his right and in the pale moon light he saw beings that looked to be a cross between man and horse. This made him run faster still.

Just about the time he reached the gates, a very, very large man came from the trees. "'arry," the giant called, lifting his hand in greeting, which just happened to have a huge crossbow.

Our hero, upon seeing the weapon, freaked out more and twisted to turn away, when suddenly he wasn't near the Grimm's fairytale place anymore.

 

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