Spontaneity

'Come home this weekend. That's an order.'

My father's words echoed in my ears even long after he stormed out of the door. 

I dropped on my knees that had gone weak and clung on to Xes' hand that was holding mine tightly. And an amused smile formed on her face when I looked up at her. 

"What do we do now?" I asked her helplessly and I almost instantly hated myself for how I sounded. 

"Hm?" She squatted on the floor beside me, not letting go of my hand. "Oh, you mean about being ordered to go home? Just go home. What are you afraid of?"

"He'll probably kill me." I said with all seriousness but she just giggled as if it was none of her business.

"Then good for me." She shrugged her shoulders then laughed out loud when I shot her a glare. "I'm just kidding. There's no way that Argus would seriously kill his own son just because he got himself another girlfriend."

I scoffed when I remembered one incident that could dispute against her belief. "My dad once held a scalpel against my neck when I told him that I'm gay."

"You're gay?!" Her eyes rounded in surprise as her free hand covered her gaping mouth.

I let out a deep breath and raised our intertwined hands for her to see. "Are you seriously asking me that? You of all people should know what your stunt earlier did to my… hormones."

"Pfft." She held back her laughter which didn't really help in making me feel less offended. "Sorry. Sorry. I was really trying hard not to laugh earlier when I felt your heart beating as if it was about to explode. What are you? A kid?"

"I was just taken by surprise!" I sounded really defensive so I quickly cleared my throat. I knew better than to lie to her and it would definitely be futile. "I mean… I do admit that I find you attractive but I was really just caught off-guard earlier."

She nodded then patted my back. "Don't worry. I understand." 

"Goo--"

She cut me off. "I'll try not to hold your hand without permission from now on. I should have been more considerate, knowing that you're practically inexperienced."

I looked at her in disbelief. "When will you stop shoving that to my face?!"

She blinked a couple of times as she stared at me. Then a smile formed on her lips. "Never."

I let go of her hand and stood up. I was feeling annoyed and defeated when a thought suddenly crossed my mind that made me smile mischievously. "It's not like you're any different from me."

The smile disappeared from her face and was replaced by a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Technically speaking, aren't you… inexperienced too?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

Understanding slowly dawned on her then she also got on her feet and tilted her head as she faced me. "Did I not tell you that I'm a Shadow?"

It was my turn to look confused. "You did. What about it?"

"Then let me repeat it. I was Arthur's shadow." She reached out her hand and with one slender finger she traced a line down my chest, stopping just a centimeter above my navel. 

That single movement made me feel naked and exposed, sending electric currents all throughout my frozen body. "What--"

"Unlike you, Arthur was rich with experience. Every feeling and every sensation in every step of the way, I was with him. I experienced it with him." The corner of her lips lifted into a triumphant smile as she watched my stupefied expression. "Shall I teach you a technique or two? Girls always go crazy in Arthur's bed."

I tried so hard to rack my brain for a witty comeback but my tongue was tied. Just the thought of her watching and feeling everything that Arthur experienced was enough to cause my brain to short-circuit. What's more, the same thing now applies to me as well. 

So, having her suggest something so provocative to me was too much for my 'inexperienced' heart. I've never met a woman that was as forward and carefree as her. 

She chuckled after eavesdropping on my thoughts again. "Technically speaking… I'm not really a woman, per se. I'm a Shadow. I can take any shape…" She put a hand on the side of her lips as if trying to cover them from a certain perspective. "...and I'm not constrained by human rules which means, unlike you, I can freely swing both ways."

'Swing both ways? Is she for real?' After much struggle, I found the ability to speak again. "You mean you can take a male form too?"

"Of course, hooman!" She slammed a hand on my shoulder. "Will that make you feel more comfortable when I teach you the techniques?"

I swatted her hand away. "For Heaven's sake! Will you stop suggesting something like that?! I don't need you to teach me techniques! I don't want you teaching me anything!"

"Are you sur--"

"Stop it!"

She burst out laughing with her shoulders shaking hard. I glared at her and she quickly raised both her hands in the air.

"Fine. Fine. I'll stop." She reached up to ruffle my bangs like one would scratch a dog's chin. "You are so cute, hooman."

I moved away from her. I don't really appreciate being treated like a mutt. Not only because she makes me feel like a lesser being than her but also because it makes my heart annoyingly flutter.

She chose to ignore my thoughts this time and threw herself on the sofa then crossed her legs. "What do you plan to do now?"

"About what?" I frowned at her, still trying to clean my thoughts and dust off the remnants of her provocative suggestion earlier.

She threw a pillow at me and chuckled. "Focus, hooman."

"What?!" I caught the pillow but I sounded a little more annoyed than I really was.

She clicked her tongue while shaking her head. "Ts. Ts. Ts. This is a lot worse than just being spontaneous. You're simply just easily distracted."

When I continued to give her a blank look, she huffed out a breath. "Jeez! We were talking about you going home and getting killed!"

"Ah… that." I sat beside her and hugged the pillow against me.

Not removing her gaze from me, she peered even closer. "What's your plan? Go home and get killed or not go home and get killed?"

My brain started functioning again after the slow clean-up drive. "I get killed either way, right?"

She nodded without hesitation.

I looked at her and studied her pretty face that I could never get used to then sighed. "Then we might as well get killed together."