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Reborn as the Clown Prince

Read all Synopsis! Original name: The Clown/Клоун An ordinary student gets into the most famous psychopath of the DC universe and tries to become a hero. -------- Warnings: 1. There is a lot of fluff and the fanfiction atmosphere will be closer to the animated series "Harley Quinn" 2019. 2. There are sex scenes and quite cringe-worthy (there are a couple between the girls), but in general they are hardly enough for ten chapters in one volume. 3. Despite the "System" tag, the system is often mentioned only at first chapters, but after the 12th chapter it practically does not appear even in the form of alerts (I have no task to gain volume stupidly due to repeated stats), besides, the protagonist himself uses it little, preferring independent development. 4. Slow development of the protagonist. -------- Disclaimer: hello everyone, I have to inform you that an unscrupulous translator of my fanfiction has appeared on the site (FanFictionForge (FanFictionPremium): "Reborn as a Joker"). I planned to do the translation myself, but after I finish the second volume. The first volume was completed a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to act earlier, so I'm posting all the currently open chapters here. At the moment, 192 chapters in English (DeepL) are for free in the public domain here: https://boosty.to/logri/posts/84a7f749-2050-4d6b-99bc-596965b6eb5c P.S.: at least two translated chapters every day, since I'm still writing the continuation of the story, and I spend about 12 hours on each chapter (in Russian).

Logri · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
200 Chs

Trust

"I haven't learned it yet," I sighed sadly as I began to weave my charms. - But I've learned a few new tricks.

Hell, there's nothing more for me to do here. The same interrogation of the green-haired bastard, if he can speak at all with a deformed jaw and paralyzed facial muscles, is better left to professionals, and then just read the police reports.

After snapping his fingers, the suit effectively transformed into a police uniform.

"Oh, not bad," the detective scrutinized me. - It's good for a quick look. The face, I take it, is also conjured?

"Naturally.

"Harvey gave instructions to his subordinates and led me to the exit, which I was very happy about, because I had tied the illusion to my own mana for reserve development, and I had absolutely no desire to waste scarce diamonds again.

Ah, that was unfortunate with Zee. I'm sure, if we hadn't forced things, the sorceress would have agreed to a close relationship without Delirum's influence. And now, no access to the dragon vein, no magical knowledge, communication is also in the hole, what can be said, but the sorceress is still interesting as a person, and the sex with her was amazing... Or was that because of Harley's presence?

So, I need to think about where I can find an unoccupied source of mana... Although the word "source" is a bit too loud, because for my needs, just a small inflow is enough to keep the background flowing and a bit higher than normal. And there are actually relatively many such places, compared to full-blown breaches or dragon veins, especially since I live in Gotham, which has a rich occult history. It's true that such mana will probably be less absorbable because of my natural coloring (unless the system somehow fixes it, of course), but it'll be fine for charging the regular drives used in Aston anyway.

A note for the future, check old cathedrals, cemeteries, and "places of power" where rumor has it some devilish things sometimes happen. Zee's serious stuff was definitely sealed up, but the little things could be off limits.

Thinking about it, I didn't notice when we got to the surface and the detective was finally able to smoke a cigar while watching the CSIs inspecting the van.

""Harvey, I thought the police didn't like people with... 'active citizenship'," I returned my previous look, shifting to the wall where the light of the streetlamps didn't reach, to make the others less nervous.

"You're right, he doesn't," the detective exhaled a cloud of smoke. - But there are some exceptions, like Batman, and now you... Well, and your battle buddy, too. Ha, yesterday I didn't realize you could catch Zsasz so fast. Last time, he slaughtered 12 people before he was apprehended and brought back to Arkham.

"It's kind of weird.

"What's so strange about that?" he shrugged. - This is Gotham. Either we work together, or crime will prevail.

I guess I was misunderstood, but I didn't plan on correcting the detective.

"Eh, you're probably right... Since we're working together, why don't you tell me what you know about the other Jokers?

The green-haired weirdo in the hospital wasn't a patient of Hugo's, which meant someone had already started making copies. It made sense that Regel and a few tons of chemical waste would be involved, but it had all happened so fast, because it hadn't even been a day since the Ace Chemical robbery.

"Nothing yet. You've seen for yourself that it's almost impossible to identify them, and for an interrogation the robbers have to be able to dialog, and these bastards can only grin and laugh. Besides, I have my doubts they'll say anything intelligent, given their appearance.

"What about their minions?

"Ugh, just pawns with the bare minimum of information. At most, we'll find the place of recruitment, but whoever organized it is hardly an idiot who didn't clean up his tracks.

"Uh, you're probably right. All right, good luck on the job.

I fire my harpoon and fly swiftly to the roof of the building.

Harvey gave my silhouette an attentive glance, then put out his cigar and went to supervise the loading of the criminals, who were just beginning to be led outside.

"Do you have any ideas?" I asked Alfred, heading toward the abandoned car.

"So far only the obvious ones, like checking the van's route and looking at missing person's APBs.

"If it's not too much trouble. Did you find out what the other two needed?

"In Little Italy, a small restaurant of the Falcone family was attacked, and in New Gotham, Davenport Tower, which is owned by the Maroni family.

I froze, standing at the edge of the roof. What's the point? It's like pulling a tiger's whiskers, because the mafia will definitely not stand for it and will open a hunt for... Joker? Holy shit!

"Oracle, do you realize what this means?!

"That both families are now very upset?

"That's an understatement. The mob will have its nose to the grindstone to find the culprit, and if a mob of disguised criminals take to the streets again tonight, as they did in Blackport, a lot of blood will be shed.

"But it doesn't make any sense.

"That's where you're wrong. The first one is playing a survival game that the rest of us don't really want to be a part of. Getting to this psycho is a challenge, so you can try to get a bunch of thugs who have the resources to find him.

"Any one of Dr. Strange's patients could be in for a treat," the butler tried to cool my ardor.

"There are only three of them on the loose, one of whom has yet to show up; Regel has gone to the mainland, to Bristol, where the mafia doesn't have many people, but the First is holed up somewhere under Old Gotham. He's the only one who made a big name for himself when he pulled off the robbery on live TV.

"Sounds logical, assuming that Mr. Regel was somehow unknowingly able to create as many as three Jokers in under twenty-four hours.

"I'm afraid there may be more... If it weren't for your paranoia, we wouldn't know about the hospital robbery until after the fact.

"We need to urgently check the other medical centers and pharmacies," a note of concern slipped into the older man's voice.

"That's what you do, and I have a very important call to make," I dropped the call and dialed a familiar number, climbing into the car.

A couple of beeps later, Harley's voice came through, pleased to hear from me, but at the same time displeased because I'd been hanging around all day instead of spending time with two charming hotties.

"I'm sorry, Sunshine, but there's been an emergency.

"Damn, Mr. J. Why did I teach Babs how to suppress the gag reflex, Mr. J. asked?" In the background came the indignant squeals of the redhead, who was clearly against such revelations over the phone. - Oh, so you know what you're giving up!

The notification of an incoming message beeped. When I opened it, I really wished I was home right now, because the photo showed a naked, bound Batgirl in her old costume mask and white stockings, and a satisfied Harley, dressed in a harlequin costume consisting of a tight red-and-blue corset and the same color stockings. Mousey clearly wasn't too happy about being filmed, but almost immediately the next shot arrived, showing Jim's daughter cumming, rolling her eyes, with my faithful assistant's fingers in her ass.

"Okay, we'll make up for it. You know me!" I said as I pulled onto the road. - It's just that something important happened today.

I tried to briefly recount what had happened at the hospital and my findings, after which both girls immediately offered to help on the night watch. Huh, as if it could be otherwise.

"I'll meet you at the shelter under the Trigate Bridge in about an hour, I've got some important work to finish. And please bring the potion bottle with you," I asked, determined to prepare for Grundy's appearance today.

What's up? The magic slurry is available, the delivery method is also available, so we can immediately stick the repeaters near the terrace and hide the spider drone there, which, judging by a glimpse of the instructions, can stay in one place for a month in standby mode.

By this time I had already passed the Deeney Bridge and contacted Alfred again, who "pleased" me with the news that the two clowns had indeed managed to stealthily rob a couple of drugstores. The police had already arrived on the scene, and from the first reports it was clear that the Jokers expectedly needed a set of drugs from Hugo's home medicine cabinet to create crazy maniacs.

Damn, it seems that Regel was running low on medication and sent the minions to get it, which they did successfully, which means that we should expect more copies soon... Well, bats are the natural enemies of psychopathic clowns, so we'll get through this.

I drove through the automatic gate and into the Wayne Manor grounds, directing my vehicle into the garage, where a slightly nervous butler was waiting for me. Hmm, that's not like him at all. Where had the true English equanimity gone?

"What's the matter?" I asked the elderly British man after leaving the car.

The man was silent, as if in great doubt about something, but then he said with a sigh:

"Take everything you need with you. You will not return to your car until after your tour of duty.

Whoops, am I gonna see the legendary Batcave after all? Nah, I've been screwed over a couple times already, so don't get your hopes up.

Basically, I had everything I needed packed in my pockets, so the only thing I grabbed from the Aston was the case with the spider drone.

After making sure I didn't need anything else, the butler turned a hundred and eighty degrees and, practically stamping his step, headed for the stairs leading to the first floor, asking me to follow him.

I followed the man in silence, wondering what was the reason for such unusual behavior. When we deviated from the standard route, arriving at the next living room, of which there were at least ten, I had my suspicions again, but I tried to suppress them again, turning my attention back to the room.

The room wasn't much different from where we usually sat with Harley and devoured the delicious pastries. The same austere style, old quality furniture, and even knight's armor was available. The only major difference was a hefty black grand piano standing on a small dais in the corner of the room.

Alfred leisurely reached the musical instrument and played on it a strange melody, which even an absolute mediocrity, who was not only stepped on by a bear, but danced on his ear, would hardly be able to play.

~Shurh~

 An antique clock with a pendulum swung aside, revealing a glass elevator car. Without a word, the butler stepped inside, looking atme carefully.

I follow, and the elevator begins its rapid descent.

"Holy shit. Batcave!" I couldn't stand it when I saw a huge platform floating in the air, with a big bat symbol in the center. The perimeter was lined with monitors and stands with gadgets and suits, and there were also bridges leading to slightly smaller platforms where various equipment and heroic activities were located.

"Don't use that language," the man glanced at me disapprovingly.

"Sorry..." I admired the splendor, guessing the reason for the butler's strange behavior. - If you're worried that you've uncovered Bats's lair, it's not that bad. I was aware that it was somewhere under the mansion.

"I guess, considering how long you've known about the master's secret life. But it should have been his decision, not mine," he shook his head frustratedly, heading toward one of the platforms that held a mannequin dressed as Gloomy Mouse. - Unfortunately, the circumstances left me no choice.

Hmm, the uniform pants aren't as tight as I remembered them to be. Did someone decide to take my comments into account and get rid of the pants?

"First the disguise," Alfred distracted me from contemplating the clothes by showing me a small flat box.

Inside the mini-case I found a silicone mask, which the man helped me put on. Not that it was difficult to do, but it was the first time I had ever worn such a thing and I would hardly have guessed to apply a special fixing gel to my face beforehand, so that it wouldn't come off.

I put on the suit, listening to the story about its features, which were quite a lot. The symbol on the chest was made of some incredibly strong composite, capable of withstanding a shotgun blast at point-blank range. The fabric itself is an excellent dielectric, so you can not be afraid of electric shocks, short-term exposure to acids and open fire, by the way, too. The helmet is stuffed with a lot of electronics, not yielding to some advanced computer. And, of course, we can't forget about the legendary belt, stuffed with a lot of useful things, starting from a banal first aid kit and ending with shark repellent. Well, the last one wasn't there, but there was a spray that knocked dogs off the trail, and not some ordinary pepper, but a complex chemical composition that temporarily blocked the sense of smell.

"Just talk less and exude grim determination," Alfred gave me final instructions as I climbed into the Batmobile on the rotating platform.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," I check the seatbelt and close the hatch, activating the holographic screens.

"The commissioner is already waiting for you on the roof of the police department," the man's voice now comes from the microphone built into the helmet, and I try not to pay attention to it, since we've already talked about everything ten times and even acted out a little skit.

I can't say that it was useless, because the elderly Briton demonstrated how to properly disappear at the moment of conversation. He, by the way, like me, considered such behavior not very polite to the interlocutor, but it is part of the image of the Gloomy Mouse, so you have to live up to it.

With a roar of the engine, the transport took off, diving into the tunnel leading to the right bridge, where the girls had already pulled up, having just ordered a cab.

The underground route was quite winding, but thanks to the map, I made it to the right column in no time without ever appearing on the surface.

"Oh, Betsy, you made it!" As soon as I left the car, I heard Harley's cheerful voice as she stepped forward, hiding the frozen Barbara, who was practicing with a whistling cat-hook, from my gaze.

"Sunshine, it's me. I'm filling in for Bats today, hoping to reduce crime.

"Mr. J?" The blonde walked around me in a circle, examining me incredulously. She scrutinized my face especially closely, trying to catch the ripples of the illusion before she suddenly grabbed my groin.

"Oh, that's right, Mr. J!

And how did she determine that, given the presence of the shell? Wait...

"What the hell?! What if it wasn't me?!

"So you said it was you," the girl clapped her eyes naively.

"Harley," I gave her a hard stare.

"Bats would have dodged it," my assistant sealed it confidently, smiling.

"Hmmm, you can't argue with that... Did you bring the potion?

"Naturally," Sailor nodded at the red cylinder lying against the wall. - And what's this?" She asked, eyeing the case I'd taken out of the Batmobile.

"This thing can get close to Alastor unnoticed," I disconnected the detachable tank from the drone and connected it to the potion container.

The blonde was interestedly eyeing the toy in Babs' arms, who had gotten a little too close, deciding to take a look at the device as well, when suddenly Oracle's serious voice boomed from the ceiling, relaying information about the first clashes between the disheveled criminals and members of the mob.

"So, take Bats's car and go to battle, - I said, disconnecting the tank and putting the case in the trunk of the two-wheeler. - Mouse, I'm sorry about today.

"Jay, I understand, because sometimes I make sacrifices to help people," Batgirl came over and hugged me gently. - The day after tomorrow, I'll have a free evening, and I could come to you again...

Her cheeks flushed and she lowered her head, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Damn, you guys are so cute!" Harley joined the hugging session, which had to be interrupted as Alfred reported another collision.

The girls promptly loaded into the Batmobile, heading for the Financial District, while I saddled the Batcycle and rode toward the police department, on the roof of which Commissioner Gordon was freezing, hoping for a miracle.