The Fifth, Part 4: The Nextgen Pirates

February 2 – Coruscant; Intergalactic News

The central news station was designed like a tremendous studio camera, continuously rotating. President Big Bird's office was located in the "lens," allowing him to study all surrounding areas for hundreds of miles. It cost billions of credits to build this place, but it was worth it. After all, Big Bird had quite a BIG VIEW.

His door burst open as Cookie Monster ran in, flailing his arms. "YAIIEEEEE! Big Bird, Big Bird-nomnom! We got a call from Kermit at Galactic Council-nom!"

"Oh, what kind of trouble did that toad get into this time?!" Big Bird asked hotly.

"P-P-Pirate ships! Pirates everywhere! Pirates that look like KND operatives!"

"KND… pirates?" The president cocked a brow. This sounded like something big.

…

The gates to Galactic Council were trampled open by a stampede of young Amazons! Glomourian swordsman were cutting down the chandeliers, potted plants, and bathroom stalls, causing the exposed politicians to go red in the face. Kateenians were shrinking the fleeing politicians whilst the Nimbi swept them into cages with airbending. The Solarans were overcooking all the cafeteria food, and the Glacians sucked the ice out of the freezers!

Calmly marching through this chaos was Nebula D. Winkiebottom. On her sides, Sheila and Maddy defended her from attacking guards, knocking them out in single punches. Vweeb was also sniping guards on Nebula's captain's hat. "Haha! I didn't think my adolescence would be this fun!"

"I really hope they won't be too mad about this." Maddy said. At the same time, Bender was running back-and-forth between rooms, giggling and adding more and more loot to his luggage.

"'ey, if you don't want 'em to get mad, don't be a pirate!" Sheila stated. "That's Rule #1!"

"Eventually, they're gonna call the Galactic Army or whoever, right? Don't we want the news to see us before we escape?"

"Galactic News is probably already watching us." Nebula assured. "I heard they have spies here 24/7. They always make sure to have first dibs on everything."

Indeed, Kermit the Frog was hidden within the shadow of a broken table, peeping out once the group had walked past. He got his phone and said, "Cookie Monster, get the president! This is Big News!"

…

Big Bird was watching a live recording from Kermit's phone. "This is more than Big News, Cookie Monster. This is…This is exactly what King Mickey was hoping for! Let's get down there immediately! I will not Big Lose this chance! I don't know what the KND are planning, but if they're gonna play pirate, then pirates they will be!"

Mobius Sea

"Nya ha ha! I can't believe all those slowpoke pirates still use boats. This is pirating of the future, baby!" Chimney boasted as she steered the train-ship across the waves.

The Rocketship was the proud vessel of the Big Grin Pirates. The ship was modeled like the front of a train with paddle wheels, and was pulling three carts. "Chimney! Three Kremling ships to the port side!" yelled Aisa on the crow's nest.

"Load the Mochapult!"

"Aye-aye, Captain!" On one cart, Mocha lifted giant boulders and spun around before hurdling them at the ships. Chunks of the ships were shattered, leaving them to sink.

Apis was growing a garden on another cart, collecting oranges with a smile. "Lunch is almost ready!"

"Thank goodness we don't have to suffer your awful cooking." April said, painting a canvas.

"Hey, my cooking wasn't that bad!"

"Poor Gonbe sure didn't enjoy it." Aeincha said awkwardly.

"Yeah, it felt like eating scrapped tires at a Miami barbeque." Roger—I mean, Gonbe said. "I mean, 'NYAAAAAA'!"

Hyrule Sky Sea

Wendy Marvell, the captain of the Sky Dragon Pirates, stood upon the keel of the Rogue Delivery. The ship used large wing-like oars to row across the White Sea, kept in motion by Kiki's pedaling, whilst also steering the ship with her broom. "Captain Wendy-chan! Be careful not to fall, you're not very stable!"

"No worries, Kiki!" Wendy smirked in confidence. "I cast a spell to glue me feet to the keel, Ay did!"

"Man, what a dork!" Phil remarked, perched on the crow's nest with a sniper rifle.

"I knew the pirate accent wouldn't work for me…"

"'EY, there be Kargarok Riders abound!" Oliver got in the act. "AVAST!" The Bokoblin shot fire arrows from their avian steeds, to which Ollie countered with spells and Phil with lasers. Sheikah Tech cannons were trying to snipe the ship from the surface, Kiki expertly steering and evading.

Phil gasped when he spotted a swarm of Guardian Skywatchers, pursuing their ship with propellers. "Hey, I don't like the look of those ships! We need to boost and lose them!"

"I'm on it!" Wendy began blowing wind to the sails. "Romeo, more power to the engines!"

"Aye-aye!" Beneath the deck, Romeo blasted fire into twin pipes that led out the back. The engines combined with the wind allowed the Delivery to widen the distance between itself and the Guardians.

"Huff, huff, huff…" Kiki pedaled as fast as she could; since she usually flew everywhere, she rarely used her legs, and that lack of exercise was beginning to bite her. "Wendy, can you please take a turn piloting?"

"Hah, and you're worried about me gettin' fat!" Phil joked.

"I'll flip this ship over and throw you off!"

"Kiki, drink this Stamina Potion." Oliver poured a green potion down her throat. "I know it's tough, but we can't afford to slow down. Or else Lord Mandy will catch us."

"EEEEK!" A panicky Kiki began to pedal faster with a newfound rush of adrenaline.

Windy Sea

The Q-Bus was a bus designed to move on land and sea, on which it would convert into a raft. The Q-Crew drove to a group of sea platforms, the pirates bombarding cannons at the incoming intruders. Quill Ramsey evasively steered the bus and dodged the fire while Miko materialized a large, solid holographic mech from her gauntlet. She used motion controls to make the mech fly and chop the platforms down with ease. "Ha HA! I can't get over how cool this upgrade is, Eddy!"

"No one can resist the beauty of a giant mech." Eddy smiled proudly. "But only our top gamer can truly do it justice~"

"Ah ha haw, please." Miko brushed the air with a boastful smile. "Keep going~"

"No~"

Carmine saw incoming mini-battleships armed with cannons. She launched bombs at the metal vessels using their own launcher and watched them sink. "I still don't know how to feel. We're really fighting one of the most dangerous armies in the universe…"

"How about feeling super excited?!" Miko fist-pumped.

"Miko, one of the reasons we didn't go to New Galaxia last year was because Carmine was afraid to." Jenny reminded. "So, don't make her too anxious."

"I'm fine, Jenny." Carmine assured. "I'm really nervous, but I'm not gonna back down this time."

"And don't hold back with those bombs either." Drake told her. "This could be our most dangerous mission, yet."

"Ooo, it's just like an open-world RPG!" Miko exclaimed. "We could go straight for the final boss, but she's like super high level and we don't have nearly enough EXP!"

"Love the enthusiasm, but I don't see us being a match for Queen Mandy. First we need to find your old sector."

"Yeah, you're right. But with my awesome team, there's no way we'll lose!"

"Right behind ya, sister!" Jenny cheered.

"Hahaha!" Carmine laughed. Though she still felt nervous, the masked girl began to feel a bit more confident. As long as they stayed strong and focused, they would win!

Sweetopia

The Phantom Suite was a luxurious submarine fitting for the Luxury Pirates. It was cloaked to avoid disturbing the Zora, Cheep Cheeps, and other native merpeople, and also emitted waves that would hide from radar detection. With this, they could swim below the Sweet-Sweet Sea with ease.

Prince Raleigh grabbed a lemon soda from the refrigerator before joining Carol and Weiss on a posh red couch, a chandelier shining above the table. "Ciel, if you were going to get like this, why didn't you go scouting with Sebastian on the surface?"

The earl in question was glued to the floor in illness. "Please… I don't trust you lot to not get discovered. Even if I have to be 40 fathoms under this toxic juicy water."

Carol's laptop was open on the table, displaying a radar that detected enemy vessels. She released a sigh. "Do you guys remember my first mission for the KND?"

"Huh?" Pacifica asked from the helm. "Oh, yeah, you and Sector V fought the original Big Mom Pirates. You think they'll recognize you?"

"It's just, back then, I had this really dumb technique called Cash Combat. It was before I discovered my computer talent, so it was my only way of fighting. I was totally useless." She smiled and blushed.

"Yeah, we remember the story." Raleigh chuckled.

"If the Big Moms do remember me, they must think I'm a joke. So, in a way, I kind of think of this mission as my second chance. A chance to show them I'm just as big a threat as Sector V." With passion in her voice, she stood and faced the ceiling, "That's why I ABSOLUTELY WON'T LOSE TO THEM!"

"Your pep talk isn't doing my head any favors." Ciel moaned. "Keep it to yourself… oag."

February 14 – KND Moonbase

"This is a message to all KND sectors." King Evan spoke from the Global Tactical Station. "Based on our collected intel, the Four Emperors will be going to battle approximately two days from now. When that time comes, the war will officially begin. All operatives who have agreed to fight in this war, you must prepare yourselves. To those who wished to stay home, I wish you all the safety, but don't let your guards down. Kids Next Door Forevermore!"

"Kids Next Door Forevermore!" the monitors chorused.

"Hehe, you got 'em really hooked on that new slogan!" Tani beamed.

"Yeah. I hope Cheren likes it; I actually can't wait to meet him."

"He couldn't be any worse than Sheila. Still, priorities come first, Evan."

"Aye. We need to rescue our people from the Sky God Pirates. Make sure you rest up, Tani; it's gonna be a long war."

The gymnasium was in an uproar as Sheila and Maddy exchanged fearsome blows. In her Midas Fury, Sheila zipped all around to confuse Maddy, but the latter's keen Haki enabled her to block the next punch. Maddy blocked the next, and the next, but a sneaky Light Sphere managed to hit Maddy's right eye! "Heff, heff!" Sheila caught her breath. "Oi, it feels great to be gettin' back in shape like this!"

"You said it!" Maddy gasped, stretching her arms. "I'm almost there… if I can use just a tiny bit of Golden Haki, I'll be happy. Sheila, keep hitting me!!"

Mason cowered in the farthest corner, strongly feeling the wind from their impacts. He truly felt like an insect compared to these superhuman girls. "I'll crush you traitorous blokes! I'll beat you into bloody pulps!" Sheila vowed.

"You hear me, Chris?!" Maddy followed. "You'll be sorry when I meet you on the battlefield!"

Now that Maddy was siding with Sheila on this whole "traitor" business, they had found a new reason to spar with each other and new passion to carry their power. Like everyone else, this past month has filled them both with frustration, and this was the best way of letting it out.

"Ugh… orright, it's break time." Sheila fell on her back. "Me muscles hurt."

"Mine, too." Maddy cracked her neck. "Time for a quick snack… and maybe a nap." She left the gym.

Mason approached Sheila and sat beside his fallen friend. "By the time of the actual war, you won't wanna fight, anymore."

"Yeh, and I won't wanna adventure, either. Get real, Mason."

"Still, you aren't really planning to fight the others, are you? I know you're upset, but-"

"Yeah yeah, focus on the real enemy, they're not really traitors, blah blah blah. They're me crew, Mason. Of course I know they wouldn't betray us. They're just so stressed from all that's been happening that they forgot to believe in their selves. That's why it's up to their cap'n to set 'em straight again. We're gonna bury those Four Emperors and show 'em they're wrong! Then I'm gonna punish 'em after the fact."

"I think they still believe in their selves. Like Maddy said, they're doing their own training with the Sky Gods. Before you know it, they're totally gonna turn all their new skills against them. They'll probably turn it into a celebration in honor of their beloved captain!"

"And I won't settle for anything less! I want 100 pounds of gold and big shiny balloons!" She got up on her feet and raised her fists. "Sunny-Fist Sheila will stand at the TOP of this Pirate World!!"

"Technically, Nebula's gonna do that."

"Oh, yeah." And she fell down in mild upset.

Free Kingdom

Aurora had her eyes closed as she focused chi to her half-closed hands. Thanks to her sparring with Meta Knight, she had finally been able to tap into it. A small light formed in her hands, then a brief flash of lightning—the Galaxia Sword had appeared!—but it was gone in an instant. "You've done it!" Meta Knight exclaimed.

"I-I did! Th-The sword, Dad's sword!" Aurora beamed.

"We must keep trying! Soon, you will hold the sword indefinitely and be able to wield it in battle. I finally have a chance to battle Galaxia!"

Elsewhere, Masaru was blasting an endless stream of sapphire flames at Chris, who was slurping all the flames down his lungs like a straw. Masaru was studying the yellow flame on the Uno's head… and as soon as it morphed into an emerald hue, Masaru stopped, and Chris knelt in exhaustion. "HALRIGHT! Your head turned green!"

Both curious and ecstatic, Chris lit his hand aflame: it was emerald. "Finally… I'm at the Emerald level. And unlike Panini, I actually earned it! Heh… I bet Dad is mocking Mrs. Drilovsky in Heaven right now."

The Innocent Smile calmly sailed over the islands as Kokichi admired the view. Harry Gilligan was on TV with Off the Hook again, Vanellope was racing around the kingdom, and Kirie came soaring by on a Loftwing. He sighed in a nostalgic fashion. "Hah… I wonder if I'll be seeing those five when this war gets started. Nee hee hee, they'll prob'ly be super pissed at me."

"Kokichi, Monaca wants to speak with you." said a short Dice Pirate with black pigtails, red eyes, and a non-caring expression.

A Mushroomian human, Mage of the Dice Pirates

ASHLEY

"'Guess that little sadist wants to talk about despair again. Well, better satisfy her urges before she blows up the kingdom." He approached the helm. "You're still keeping an eye on Louise's 'secret' portals, right Ashley?"

"Yes, and no other pirates have discovered them. Still, you think the KND will survive? Rumors say their leader's been missing all month, that's why they're falling apart. You don't suppose he's dead, do you?"

"It wouldn't be the first time. And knowing Cheren, he'll probably come back again. And you know why?"

"Because he's an idiot?"

"Because he's too damn stubborn! But he's also the most trustworthy person I've ever come across. And that's really saying somethin'!"

"You're just lying again, like always." Ashley rolled her eyes.

"You sure, Ashley? I'm starting to think even my lies are lies!"

February 16 – Pit of 100 Trials; Floor 100

Cheren was out of breath and barely holding on to what shred of consciousness he had left. He couldn't believe he made it all the way to the bottom… and even survived that last battle. He forced his body to carry him through the newly opened door.

A long corridor guided him to a pedestal, where stood a four-pronged weapon. Was this his reward for coming down here? It was built with Sheikah Tech, but didn't look very impressive. The tips had hollow holes and it was light to hold. It felt like it couldn't do much damage at all. There was a plaque below it, but Cheren couldn't read the Ancient Hylian. If he could, it would say this:

O Brave Hero whom hath descended the unforgiving labyrinth, the Infinity Trident is thine to claim. To awaken its devastating power, place the gems of the Four Sacred Swords into its prongs.

He stored it in his pocket for safekeeping; maybe it could sell for a high price. Well, now to find a way out of here. Let's see, there had to be an elevator, pipe, or something… oh, there was something:

A ladder. A ladder that stretched farther than he could see. It rose aaaaaaaaaaall the way to the top of the pit. And it was the only way. (Play "Un Sogno" from JoJo: Golden Wind.)

Cheren put his hands and feet on the first bars and started climbing. He climbed slowly, having spent all his strength getting down here to begin with. He climbed carefully, not wanting to slip and have to start all over again. As he climbed, he began to ponder the point. It was so high… Way too high… No way he could make it. He groaned, knowing he could never make it. He would slip on a wet bar and have to do it all again. Or he would pass out. There were no rest stops on this ladder, nothing to regain his strength. It was a hollow, dim, and hopeless shaft.

They don't need me, anymore. If I had to suffer this much just to catch up with them, why would they? They could've beaten this pit easy. Was all this just a waste of time?

He was at Floor 90…89…88… A single gold butterfly fluttered by, glinting in his eyes.

The Four Emperors captured them? What a joke. My operatives rebuilt the universe. There's no one more powerful than them.

Floor 80…79…78…77… Not that Cheren was even counting. This shaft could be infinite for all he knew. There was nothing in here, but him, this ladder, and two more gold butterflies.

What… Did they forget what they did? Did they forget they're the heroes? How would they slow down so easily? I know they have their flaws and personal issues, but there's no way those would slow them down, right?

This question haunted him for the next couple of floors. 70…69…68…

I mean, I worked hard to lead them through all that. Sure, I made a ton of mistakes and I hate myself for them, but we still made it. Surely they can carry the rest on their own, without me. Why would they forget how good they are?

Six gold butterflies fluttered around him, and more were appearing. They were kind of getting annoying. Cheren hoped he wouldn't sneeze on one and fall. 60…59…58…

Because, my operatives are the best. And even though I made all those mistakes, it was fun watching my operatives grow. I had fun leading them…

Floor 50…49…48… Cheren was so used to climbing that his limbs were moving on instinct. He subconsciously climbed a little bit faster.

How could they let the Four Emperors beat them? Have they forgotten how good they are? Do they need me to remind them?

He was rather aggravated by this. The anger coursed through his veins and compelled him to climb a bit faster. 40…39…38…

I can't believe they would let it end here! I won't believe it! They're still growing, they're still strong. I know that for a fact!

30…29…28… The butterflies were agitated by his aura, more were buzzing around him. It was almost hard to see, but Cheren knew to just keep climbing.

I don't care if they don't need me, anymore. I still wanna be there for 'em. I still wanna lead them. I WILL lead them!

20…19…18… There were too many butterflies to count.

How dare the Four Emperors trample their pride! How dare they let their pride get trampled! How dare they forget what I taught them!

10…9…8…

I WILL rescue my operatives! I WILL crush the Four Emperors, and SHOW THEM ALL WHO'S IN CHARGE!

3…2…1…

It's OVER, Four Emperors! We're taking our worlds BACK! (End song.)

Panini was sat on a stump outside the forest. Hearing footsteps behind her, she gasped at the sight of him: "Cheren!"

"Hey, Panini." He greeted casually, completely ignoring his wounds and bruises. "Hope I didn't keep you."

"Not at all. Got a good workout with all these demons traipsin' up. You look worse for wear."

"Ah, that pit was nothing."

"You didn't get depressed and doubt yourself again, didja?"

"Pfft, no way, I'm way past that. …So, what's that at the castle?"

One could barely recognize the castle from this distance, anymore. It was swallowed by the flames of war, the sky blotted by smog and pirate ships alike. "Um, Ay think the Four Emperors started fighting. They kinda showed up last night, it's been going nonstop."

"Dang. 'Guess we better find a way off here, huh?"

"I agree." And so, the pair began to cross the field.

On this date, February 16, 2036, the Second Pirate War began. Already, the first fatality falls to the Nextgen Pirates' side.

Biscuit Krueger hung from the nose of the Deku Tree by her skirt. Her hair was forcefully yanked off. Her face was swollen in several areas. Her teeth were punched out. Her dress was tied to partially choke her neck. Blood leaked from various places. Her toenails were pulled upward. …The Deku Tree blushed from her awkward position.

Biscuit Krueger, legendary Drill Sergeant for the Hyrule KND, and a noble of Hytopia. Her place of defeat was in Korok Forest. She was unable to participate for the remainder of the war.

Avalar; Disney Castle

"Theater's all clean." King Mickey said to himself. "Have my snacks. Television quality is good." He sat himself on a luxury seat and reclined it. "Now to sit back, relax, and watch these problems take care of themselves." He switched on the TV and viewed the live recording at Hyrule with a smile.

"NYAAAAAA!" Queen Sherry Linlin brought her Soul Quartz down on King K. Rool, the croc blocking with his golden arm. "GIVE ME BACK MY CAKE!" Kroctus punched the sword away and leapt to uppercut Sherry's face, the Titan falling with a quake. Mandy pelted Kroctus with Fear Spheres, but then Skaios blew the reptile into her—Kroctus reactively grabbed Mandy and threw her into Skaios. Sherry leapt to squash both of them, then Kroctus leapt and caught her in a choke hold, performing a suplex with the Titan. Mandy's fear particles reformed and she unleashed a Fear Scream at Skaios, who was then squeezed in Kroctus' hand. The young god choked, but Sherry whacked Kroctus away with her sword, freeing Skaios as he blew Kroctus away. The god was stabbed from behind by Mandy, but he quickly blew and scattered her particles, and he dodged Sherry's foot in time before flying up and impaling Mandy's sword in her eye.

The GKND had entered the planet's atmosphere, horrified by the bloodshed. "Eh… are you sure you wanna do this, Nebula?" Vweeb asked. "There's no harm in letting them kill each other."

"There is if Hyrule has to suffer because of it. I'm ending this fight now. This is the debut of the Nextgen Pirates!"

…

At the same time, on a certain island… Davy Jones' carriage had arrived. "Ha ha ha ha ha… finally. It's time-ah!" His tentacles wriggled with excitement. "THE PIRATE WARS! Let the games BEGIN-AH!"