A Newbie's Quest, Part 2: An Eyesore of a Glitch

"So I said, 'Mitch, I don't care how many subscribers you got, you're just a whiny little bitch!' Yeah, I said it!" Miko boasted, chilling on the couch between Eddy and Drake. The sectormates were chowing on pizza, except for Carmine, who merely sipped water through a straw. "Like man, I'm glad to be away from that guy."

"Eh, I wouldn't hold my breath." Jenny remarked, the roller-blader sitting on the backrest of the couch. "Drake can be really full of himself."

"Only 'cause my team is the coolest~" Drake said coolly.

With Drake Puncture, Numbuh 3-Hole Puncher, being 15 years old, he was a year younger than Miko, but the Sector Leader nonetheless looked the part of a cool and collected dude. His short black hair was kind of spiked, and his sunglasses hid his clear blue eyes. He was rather trim and muscular under his green T-shirt and khaki pants, but what really distinguished him from a typical high school jock was his mechanical right hand.

Numbuh 2-Shot, Quill Ramsey, was 13 years old, though he hit a snag in his growth somewhere and was left as the shortest member, being waist level with Miko and Drake. He was the 4x4 technology officer as well as the vice-leader.

Eddy Flores, Numbuh Record, served as the spy and computer hacker. Under his big, hi-tech glasses, he seemed like an average, 12-year nerd with pale-blue shirt, black shorts, and blue shoes, his brown hair messy. His skinny build implied little room in the combat department.

E. Carmine, Numbuh Caution, was a pyrotechnician covered completely in her brown suit, rough to the touch. Despite her covered and muffled form, the 12-year-old girl possessed a lively and positive aura.

Jenny Strongarm, Numbuh Hundred Steps, acted as the "big sister" of the group (though now the middle sister), a thin, but tough and confident-looking sports girl. She seemed to stay balanced on her roller-blades and bore the tone of a tomboy. Miko hoped to bond well with the 14-year.

"Still, Hinobi Tech, huh?" Drake asked. "They managed your sector back on Coruscant? That kinda breaks tradition a bit."

"They mostly just wanted to advertise their tech." Miko shrugged. "But like, it's cool! Check THIS baby out!" She clicked her gauntlet and materialized Ally.

"Yo!" Jenny yelped. "You had an ostrich in that thing?!"

"It appears to be a solid hologram." Eddy observed, going up to poke the bird. Ally paid him no mind and pecked at the floor. "Are you a computer expert, too?"

"Nope, just a hardcore gamer. Don't know how it's made, but I know how it's played. You guys gamers?"

"Eddy more than the rest of us." Quill answered.

"I'm with Nintendo all the way!" Eddy beamed. "Even though they STILL won't give us Mother 3. It's been almost 30 years, just give us an official translation!"

"Well, sounds like your chance to check out some Hinobi titles! Lemme just dig out the ol' Hinobi Box…" Miko raced over to a pile of crates that the W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s helped load in. "Nope, nope, not here, not this one, bingo!" She successfully retrieved the white console, imagining an 8-bit jingle to go with her victory. "Aha, it's still got Castlestein in it! Now I'll just hook it up to the tele and…" Miko walked up to the TV with the cord ends held. "…?" She scanned the TV confusedly. "Where's the HD-SP-XIV adapter?"

"Theeeee what?" Jenny asked.

"I'm not sure what kind of TVs Coruscant has," Carmine replied, "but ours might be a bit… different."

"No, we can't have this!" Miko panicked. "Wait! The store will have what we need! Hinobi must be selling Earth TV adapters, of course! Everyone, to Hinobi Stop!" She thrusted a finger up determinedly.

"Yo, chill, Gamegrl." Jenny stylishly rolled backwards on her roller-blades and put an arm around Miko. "We can worry about that stuff later. Tell us about some of your missions. If you're a Coruscanti, I bet you were involved in the Tachyon incident, right?"

"Well, not exactly." Miko replied modestly. As they talked, Eddy walked behind them and crouched down to study the Hinobi console. "I wasn't an operative back then, but like, I was SO sick of hearing my mom harping on about Tachyon!" Eddy rubbed his chin curiously and began using tools to take apart the device. "Like, I get it, he was a bad guy, he tried to destroy the city and stuff, but I just don't care about politics, and it's not like she was gonna do anything."

"Yeah, I can feel ya there." Jenny replied. Eddy began taking parts out of his Nintendo NX and attaching it to the Hinobi Box. "Problem is, with this job, you'll have to take on evil politicians every once in a while."

"That's why I dig it! The KND is just like videogames, ya know, just point out the boss, get to the boss, and take out his HP, nice and simple."

"It isn't always that simple." Carmine inputted, her muffled voice somber behind her gas mask. "If you're not careful, something terrible could happen. Just look at me. I was-"

"Hey, what're you doing to my console?" Miko asked, having just glanced back and down at Eddy.

"Oh, I think I found a solution!" Eddy replied. "I attached parts from my NX to the Hinobi. We can use the NX's cables to hook up to the TV and probably play it."

"Don't just tinker with my console without asking me!"

"Sorry! Look, I'll buy you a new one if something goes wrong."

"Well, whatever fires this baby up faster, the better." Miko shrugged, pushing the Power button. "I mean, no way it would fry up just from a-"

The console began sparking from the foreign components, the TV sizzling with static. "Unless… that happens."

A pair of large, boney hands emerged from and grabbed the rims of the TV. A digital, skeletal monster in a hood hissed grimly at the operatives. Eddy frightfully scooted back on his rear, Miko and Jenny stepping and rolling back as well. The beast stomped on the floor and used a shovel to tear off part of the wood floor and fling it at them, Miko and Jenny jumping apart. "It's the Gravekeeper!" Miko exclaimed.

"This feels like a very realistic game!" Drake yelled.

"Where's the instruction booklet?!" Quill panicked.

Miko sneakily turned away, whispering into her wristwatch. "Hey, BITT, it's me, Miko. So, like, I'm in my new KND sector, and you-know-what is happening. Y'know, glitch?"

"As you should have been properly instructed, your job is to eradicate and reprogram all faulty Programs with the use of your Hinobi Tech gauntlet!" replied a cheery robot voice. "You must also make sure to mind-wipe all non-Hinobi employees who bear witness to the faulty product. By selecting the 'Mind Wipe' function and aiming the flash at the targets in question, all things relating to 'Hinobi Errors' will be-"

"Yeah yeah, about the mind-wiping part, that doesn't include teammates, right?"

"Hinobi must maintain a strong reputation with its customers! All non-affiliated sapient witnesses who witness Hinobi malfunctions must be mind-wiped to maintain a strong relationship with our customers."

"Hey, newbie!" Jenny yelled, swiftly rolling around the pixelly monster as she threw momentum-powered kicks against its skull. "You gonna show us how this game works or not?!"

"I mean, it's a pretty standard boss!" Miko said, shooting lasers from her gauntlet. "Just deplete its HP and it'll go down!"

"Sounds fine to me!" Drake changed his hook hand into a harpoon and launched it at the Gravekeeper, piercing it, then hauling the monster up to slam it to the floor. Quill drew out a pair of rectangular guns and shot fire over the Program. The Gravekeeper detached and chucked the point of his shovel at Quill, who dodged, but just as the beast conjured a new point, Miko raised her purple hammer and smashed it over its skull head. The Program began blinking, so Miko fired a ray over the Hinobi console. In a matter of seconds, the monster derezzed out of existence.

"Okay, what the heck was that?!" Eddy asked, scrambling up to the consoles and beginning to detach the NX parts from the Hinobi. "That's the last time I tinker with alien game consoles! Man, I hope this doesn't ruin my NX."

"I'm sorry I have to do this, but…" Miko aimed her gauntlet at Eddy.

"Do what?" Eddy looked up at her—but in the next second, there was a blinding flash!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0…

Eddy was lost in another dimension. Everything was bright, everything was neon, and his brain and body were like liquid, lost in the neon waves.

<><><><><><><><>

"AAAAAHHH!" Eddy let out a scream and grabbed his head, writhing on the floor. "AAH! I'M BLIND! What happened to me?!"

"Eddy!" Jenny panicked, kneeling down to hold her squirming friend. "Miko, what did you do that for?! He's photosensitive!"

"W-What's that mean?"

"His eyes are sensitive to bright lights! His glasses are designed to shade in bright areas, but if you just flash him like that…"

"Oh…" Miko bit her lip in guilt. "Then, could you turn him away for a second?"

However, her gauntlet was immediately frozen by Quill's Elementor gun, using the ice setting. Drake caught Miko in a lasso before jumping to pin her down. "What're you doing with that, anyway?!"

"Yeah, why did you do that to Eddy?!" Carmine asked.

"No, please! I can explain! I wasn't trying to hurt him, I just…"

"Is that Miko?" Eddy asked. "What do you mean she did this? I was just checking out her console!"

"Yeah, and it brought some creepy skeleton dude to life." Drake said.

"What skeleton dude? What happened?"

"The monster that just attacked us! Don't you remember?" Jenny asked.

"We were… attacked?"

"…" Quill glared and aimed a gun at Miko. "Did you do something to his memory?"

"You better start explaining or it's the Arctic Prison for you." Drake stated.

"Let's bring Eddy to his room." Carmine suggested. Jenny lifted the boy and rolled toward the hallway, the others following.

Eddy was lain on his bed as Carmine brought eye drops to drip onto him. His squirming began to subside. "Okay, so, the truth is… Hinobi's games tend to glitch from time to time, and, well… come to life and attack people. It's something to do with the kind of hardware they're using, trying to make games more interactive. So, whenever this happens, naturally KND operatives have to deal with it, but Hinobi doesn't want word to spread too much about it, so… that was part of their deal with the KND. They hired us 'special' operatives to help mind-wipe people of Hinobi's flaws."

"So, it's some kind of secret identity thing?" Jenny asked. "Come on, dude, that stuff is outdated! And besides, we're Kids Next Door, too, and we only decommission traitors!"

"Well, I called and asked, but you guys aren't exempt. They said I had to mind-wipe you in case of…"

"No no no, that's where you gotta draw the line." Drake shook his head. "First of all, besides the traitor thing, memory-wiping is a little taboo in this profession. One of the KND's guidelines is that experience and knowledge leads to strength, so if you just wipe our minds of every battle, we ain't gonna get any stronger. And secondly, you don't just keep these kinds of things a secret from your own teammates. If there's a burden you have, at least cue us in on it. Then we'll decide whether we wanna stress over it and help you out."

"And honestly, I only just heard of Hinobi," Jenny said with a shrug, "so I don't care if they have a bad reputation. Especially if THIS is what their tech does. At least Cheren's excuse is just 'I just didn't want my operatives to worry' or something, but like, why even try to defend some faulty game company?"

"But if I don't do my job, Hinobi said they would fire me, and they'd convince the KND to kick me out, too."

"Is Hinobi really that important to you?" Quill asked.

"It's just, ever since I was little, all I've ever been good at is videogames. I got held back a grade one year, I needed a lot of tutoring, then my parents just decided to home-school me. And now they're proud that I have a job and I'm doing something that matters for the world. It isn't just about Hinobi… but come on, I swear their games are good, we just gotta-"

"I could really care less about that part." Eddy stated. "You know, Nintendo always had a problem with trying to make their games too perfect, getting rid of all the fun glitches, but at least they don't FLASH their customers and try to make them forget! If this is how they treat people, they don't deserve anyone's business. Do they even ask if people have a medical condition before flashing them? I guess not!"

"I mean, you said you were a gamer, so I didn't expect you to have sensitive eyes."

"My glasses help me tolerate lights and enjoy what I love. But now I might never get to play again."

"I'm sorry! Is there any way I can help?"

"Relax, Eddy, it's not nearly as bad as when Sheila flashed her fist at us once." Jenny said. "Your eyes will be better by tomorrow."

"Yeah, well I still think I'm owed some compensation. Why don't you flash yourself right in the face and see how it feels?"

"Come on, don't make her mind-wipe herself."

"It doesn't really work on me." Miko said.

"What doesn't work?"

"Well, like, check this out." Miko stepped away. "Actually, don't look, but I'll let you know." She aimed the gauntlet at herself, and the others looked away as the gauntlet flashed.

Miko experienced a similar wavy, neon sensation full of ones and zeroes. But it was then that a digital barrier popped up around her, the space sparking and glitching. She was pulled back into reality as her gauntlet flashed a red ERROR message. "See? It doesn't work on me."

"Huh…why is that?"

"Beats me. I guess I just got a sharp mind is all!"

"Well, this feels unsatisfying." Eddy said.

"Well, do you want me to pour hot water in my eyes or something?" Miko asked in slight frustration. "I said I was sorry, I didn't know."

"If you knew Hinobi's games could endanger us like that, you shouldn't have tried to hook it up in the first place. So, I hope you aren't expecting to play it any time soon."

"But they're really good, I swear they are!"

"Do I look like I care to listen?"

Miko sighed. "Should I just leave? I'm just causing you guys trouble."

"Losing a newbie on the first day after one little mistake?" Drake asked, raising his hook like a question mark. "That's seriously lame."

"What's your true allegiance, anyway?" Quill asked, the shortest boy looking up with strict eyes. "Is it Hinobi or the KND?"

"I mean…" Miko rubbed her arm anxiously, "it's because of Hinobi that I'm even in the KND. And because of that, I had friends who liked to spend time with me."

"Cool, but we don't really care about Hinobi." Drake folded his trim arms confidently. "Even if they fire you, we'd still keep you around! Cheren wouldn't listen to those pricks, and even if they try to wipe our memories, we have timebenders and psychics who are immune to that shit! Aren't they?"

"I think so." Quill shrugged.

"So… you don't want me to leave?"

"I'd be willing to let her stay." Carmine replied. "Having new friends is always nice! …If it's alright with Eddy."

"…" The bedridden boy was silent for a moment. "She can stay, under a few conditions. One, we limit time with the Hinobi console so it doesn't always try to kill us, and two, she never uses that flashy thingy again."

"Okay, but what if other people start encountering glitches?" Miko asked. "If I don't do my job, we might get in trouble with Hinobi, too."

"Hmm…" Drake tapped his hook to his head. "I don't really agree with the mind-wiping thing, but we can probably agree to play along. Maybe. But don't think about using that thing on us. Not on other operatives and especially not Eddy, and if Hinobi doesn't like that, they can try to take us on."

"Yeah, we ain't afraid of some third-rate developers!" Jenny fist-palmed. "We'll protect our new sister 'til the end!"

"Heh…sister?" Miko blushed.

"Do you agree to Eddy's terms or not?" asked Quill.

"Y-Yes! I agree. Thanks, for letting me stay." Miko cracked a nervous smile. "And I'm sorry for flashing you, Eddy." She walked up to the boy and patted his chest. "I hope you'll still want to play games with me after this."

"I'll consider it… provided I get a mocha slushy."

"YOU GOT IT!" Miko declared. The prompt, Side Quest: Mocha Slushy of Friendship appeared above her!

Miko proceeded to race out of the room, her new friends following, except for Carmine as she chose to look after Eddy. "Wait, if you're immune to the mind-wipe, maybe you're a timebender or something!" Drake said.

"I don't have any bending that I'm aware of. Unless you count my scorebending!"

"Let's see how that matches with my rollerbending!" Jenny cheered.

Carmine smiled under her mask. "I'm sure we'll get used to her. At least now our team feels balanced!"

"I guess so. But still… I feel like doing some investigating on this Hinobi."

Coruscant; Hinobi H.Q.

The Core of Hinobi Tech was a large, green, cubical generator. The hundreds of cords attached to it branched out into millions more cords, connected to every computer, every hard-drive, and every console. A husky woman inspected the Core, writing something on her clipboard. "There are reports of a hacker trying to infiltrate our network. They're a rather frequent visitor… you wouldn't happen to be letting them in, would you?"

The box seemed to spark and blink, a pair of square blue eyes flickering in it.

"Oh ho ho! Of course you wouldn't. Still, it seems that our subject has moved to Earth. I suppose that means they'll start encountering a surplus of glitches. We only need a bit more time until our game is complete. Still, Earth's Kids Next Door is known to be… rather nosey in other people's business. Perhaps we shouldn't have permitted her to go. Hmmm…for now, we'll just watch what happens." With that, she calmly exited the room.