Ch 9 a friend in need

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Laying down in her four-poster later that night, tears rolling down her face, Lily hugged herself as she once again read the now-wrinkled letter. Some lines jumped out at her in particular, causing her to cry even harder and wonder if she could ever stop, lines such as '...but the secret won't harm my friend if it's kept to myself, and I'd hate to burden them with unnecessary pain...' and '...I don't want to bother my friend with this, as I think that I'm doing a fairly good job of handling it myself...It's rather painful to hear about their happy parents, when mine chose to kill herself rather than continue on...'

Lily tried to imagine someone she was close to, such as Severus, hiding that sort of pain out of fear that it would bother her. The very idea felt like a thousand knives stabbing her. She didn't want to consider the possibility that someone would feel like they couldn't count on her, that someone would think that she'd prefer it if they suffered alone.

With these thoughts running through her head, Lily wanted to scream at the boy for not going and getting help, leaving his friend to wonder why and how he was hurting...and at the same time hug him, telling her newfound friend that everything would be alright. For indeed, that was what Perseus had become, a valued friend even if it was through the medium of paper and quill rather than hugs and laughter. Helping him was just part of the call of duty, and she would help him as much as she possibly could, except...

...Except for the fact that Lily knew this was far out of her depth. Her biggest problems up until now had amounted to a six-month (or so) freeze on a childhood friendship while dealing with handsome, if annoying boys trying to woo her. She had no idea how to deal with something like this.

She needed help, badly. She needed to talk to someone who might be able to help her deal with this...but she wasn't sure who to ask.

Normally, Lily would go to her parents for stuff like this, but it might be weeks before she received a letter back from them...and Lily felt she needed the advice soon if she wanted to help Perseus.

She considered telling Severus, but the thought of how miserable he seemed to be already stayed her tongue...and he wasn't really the guy that one would go to for solutions for emotional situations. Lily might lean on him for support, and perhaps mention it to him in the future, but she needed the advice from someone with the empathy that Severus frequently lacked.

'Hmm...perhaps Slughorn would be a good idea? He's always been very helpful to me when I needed it...' Lily considered, trying to find any holes in the idea. 'Still...he's a teacher; it might be difficult for him to be discrete. I'll have to make sure not to name names if I go to him...'

The door to the room opened and shut with a click, causing Lily to turn to see that Mary had entered, dusting off her robes as her gaze fell onto the tear-covered redhead. Her eyes seemed to soften slightly with concern, and she slowly made her way over until she was standing before Lily. "Mind if I sit down?" asked the brunette quietly.

"Sure." Lily moved over a bit to give Mary some room, allowing the girl to sit down with a flump, before turning toward her roommate and friend. Although a little embarrassed to be seen like this, at least Lily had managed to stop crying, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"So...why did you leave dinner like that, in tears and such, I mean." One of Mary's hands made an expansive gesture, perhaps trying to explain what she meant, while the other held gently onto Lily's arm, stroking it with immense softness. "You don't have to tell if you don't want to, but maybe it would help..."

Lily bit her lip, not quite sure how much she wanted to say. Mary was better with emotions than Severus, Lily knew that, but this didn't seem like something she wanted everyone to know about. As such, she spoke in a quiet voice, nearly a whisper, "Remember Perseus? Well...his mother died right before holidays...and he's hurting because his friend doesn't know, and talks about their family all the time. He's afraid to tell his friend, because he's worried that it'll hurt them to know..."

Mary's eyes widened, her mouth open as horror wrote itself over her face, sparing no part of it as she raised her hand to her lips. "That's awful! I mean, you'd tell me if something happened to your mom. Same with..." (she made a face) "...Snape, right?"

"Of course I would!" Lily made a note to talk to Severus about this as soon as possible; she didn't want to be a liar. "But I don't know what to tell him. It's not like I can just order him to talk to his friend...and I don't know what else I can do to help him..."

For several minutes, there was silence as Mary seemed to digest the information, Lily biting her lip as she wondered what she could do.

"I think that I need more time to think about this, but you don't have much, do you?" Mary pondered aloud, frowning as she brought a finger to her lips in thought. "I mean, he needs help fast I think, you know? How about I ask Sabrina if she has any ideas?"

"I dunno...maybe." Lily frowned, laying back and staring at the ceiling as she thought about it. "Just make sure she promises to tell no-one else, under any circumstances. Got it?"

Mary nodded, then changed the subject, "By the way, I was told to tell you that your mother sent you a letter; it arrived earlier today. McGonagall has it for now."

"Oh, thanks. I'll take care of it tomorrow," Lily yawned, her tears laying stickily on her cheeks. "But for now, I think I'll go and get ready for bed."

And so she did, thoughts of what she might do to help Perseus running through her head all the while.

There was something else that had bothered her about his letter; she just couldn't figure out what.

The next day, Lily was on the way to McGonagall's office, her thoughts still on focused on the letter she had received from her pen-pal when she was halted in her tracks by a distasteful sight:

Severus was there in the corridor ahead of her, leaning against the wall. Now, normally Lily would have been happy to see her best friend, especially given the fact that she wanted to talk to him about Perseus' letter, but unfortunately he had the loathesome twosome of Arcturus Mulciber and Justin Avery as company. And while she may have said she had no problems with Severus being friends with them so long as he didn't act like them, that didn't mean that her instinctive reaction to vomit at the sight of them had changed.

As quickly as she could, Lily hid behind a nearby door, hoping that she hadn't yet been seen.

Lily really didn't understand why Severus wanted to hang around with them, let alone change so much in an effort to fit in with them as he had last year, and she was beginning to think that she never would. Out of all the people who attended Hogwarts alone, let alone people outside of it, why had Severus chosen them to be his friends?

Even considering how Slytherins were generally untrustworthy (with the exception of certain ones such as Severus), Mulciber and Avery were particularly disgusting specimens. Mulciber was a rather large boy with shaggy blond hair and a cruel, mischievous grin, possessing a love of the Dark Arts that Lily found appalling, primarily because he liked to test his knowledge of those spells on his fellow students. Meanwhile, Avery was a short, skinny boy with a giggle of a laugh, who enjoyed the same cruel jokes and pranks as Mulciber.

Lily still remembered how the two of them had cast that spell on Mary which had had her acting like an idiot for an entire day, talking like a fool and banging her head into walls whenever she had gotten the chance. Severus' inability to understand just how horrifying the incident was for her and actually defending these two pieces of slime had been one of the reasons she had soured on their friendship, especially since he was bullied by Potter and Black himself so often.

"...Frankly, I don't know why they don't just fire the lot of them and start fresh. My aunt's been out of a job for months, but her old boss just keeps hiring more of those nasty little Mudbloods instead of helping her out."

"I know, Justin, it's right disgusting. That's what it is." Mulciber shook his head in anger. "Giving all that stuff to filthy vermin when the old families starve. It's just plain wrong, don't you agree, Severus?"

"Ummph..." grunted Severus with a nod, not even seeming to be paying attention as he stared out into space.

"Head in the clouds, Severus? Or maybe thinking about getting a peek at Selene's cleavage? She's been practicing her warming charms a bit too much, I'd wager, if the lack of clothing has anything to say about it. Look, there she is, an' she ain't wearing a bra either!"

At this, Severus turned around, his eyes frantically searching the corridor for the nonexistant Slytherin girl. Realizing that he'd been had, Severus turned a glare upon his laughing Slytherin friends. "Thanks a lot, Arcturus."

"Heh, sorry, Severus, but you know how it is..." At this, Lily prepared to leave without a word, not wanting to hear much more of Severus' friends, when Severus said something intriguing.

"Um...what does it mean when a girl kisses you, on the lips, I mean?" His voice was hesitant, and sounded rather confused. Lily couldn't say his face, as he had looked away from all of them. She hoped that Severus wouldn't reveal that she had kissed him; she had enough trouble with the rumors about her and Potter. She didn't want another set of them roaring through Hogwarts.

Mulciber frowned, before shrugging as he said, "Probably that she likes you. Who was it, anyway?"

"Wow, Severus got kissed! Will wonders ever cease?" Avery teased, giving Severus a bop on the head as he performed his giggle-laugh.

Mulciber chortled. "I know, right? Hell, I thought that he'd never find a girl who would touch lips with him!"

Lily frowned, feeling rather miffed on her best friend's behalf, but Severus merely shrugged. "It wasn't about me; it was someone...else." He made a face. "They told me that they kissed someone, but it didn't mean anything."

Mulciber gave him a strange look, before rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Snape, either she was in love with the bloke or she was a slag, no two ways about it."

"She wasn't in love with me!" shouted Severus in a heated tone of voice, making Lily blink in surprise. "And she certainly isn't a slag! Trust me on that!"

"Ooh, you did get a kiss!" Mulciber's mouth gaped open in shock. "Really?"

"Who was it, anyway?" Avery interrupted. "You never said who it was."

Severus paused, and Lily pursed her lips in worry, but he pointed down the corridor. "Her, Evelyn Matthews." His finger was pointed at a tall. buxom girl with stringy, blonde hair and the top three buttons of her blouse open. "You know, one of those two Ravenclaws in our Potions class."

As the two boys seemed to consider this, Lily let out a held breath, relieved that her secret hadn't been revealed. Finally, Mulciber nodded, giving Severus a quick appraisal, "Yeah, I can see it. Just like a girl, really; she gives you a kiss, but decides she doesn't mean it when she realizes that she kissed you."

"And she really is a slag, mate," pointed out Avery, much to Lily's reluctant agreement. Evelyn had become infamous among the sixth year females for the number of conquests she had had in the past couple of years, and Lily was willing to bit that these boys didn't know the half of them. "She was probably hoping that you'd take her right there, slip her a nice bit of todger."

"Sure, that sounds about right." Lily had to fight the urge to giggle, as while Severus' voice was normal, from her angle she could see him rolling his eyes.

"Speaking of birds," interjected Mulciber, a smirk firmly planted on his ironically-handsome face. "Selene Malfoy said she's throwing a party tomorrow night, and there's gonna be booze!"

Severus' eyes widened as he whirled around in surprise, but Avery was the first one to speak, "Cool, and we're all invited, right?"

The trio started walking down the corridor, so Lily had to strain her ears to catch the last few words of their conversation as Mulciber spoke, dark mischief in his voice, "Well...Avery can come, but first you'll..."

As his voice trailed off, Lily had a slight frown on her face, rather disappointed that Severus was going to go to such a party after she had just become the poster-child of why not to go, but then her face brightened.

He had protected her reputation, after all, and even Evelyn's. In comparison to that, what was a night pouring booze down his throat?

'Besides...' Lily grinned, a giggle escaping her. 'He could really do with a bit of relaxing, I'd bet!'

As it turned out, her mother's letter had been very short, only mentioning minor neighborhood happenings. However, she had told Lily in the letter that she was hoping that they could all go together on a vacation over Easter and "...we wouldn't mind it if you brought one of your friends from school along. Even Petunia says that it's alright."

Lily planned to ask Severus, unless she somehow managed to get a boyfriend or something in the next month or so, of course. It was a shame that she didn't know who Perseus was, with the exception that he was from another school and had good grades and the like. Still, knowing that his mother had committed suicide didn't mean that she knew who he was-she had considered combing the obituaries, but Sabrina had helpfully pointed out that suicides were rarely listed as such, to protect the good name of the deceased's family.

Speaking of which, that was why she was particularly fidgety as she waited for Potions class to end; she wanted to talk to Slughorn when class was over.

After the holidays, Slughorn had changed up the seating arrangements, putting everyone into groups of two-Lily was all but certain that it was because he wanted to put her and Severus together in classes again. Knowing the man, Lily couldn't blame him; she and Severus had a tendency to make each other work harder when they were put together in Potions, probably because they each enjoyed competing with the other when they had the opportunity.

It wasn't like they wanted the other one to fail...but Lily never could resist a triumphant grin when her potion proved the better of Severus', and Severus had a sneer ready and waiting for the times he brought home the win.

Still, the competition was over for now-both of them had already finished off their potions, hers being done just a smidge before Severus', and now they had to wait for the rest of the class to finish. Potter and Black's potion in particular was going awfully slowly, although Mulciber and the Hufflepuff girl's potion wasn't much better.

As such, Lily took the opportunity to fill Severus in on the weekly gossip-neither of them believed most of it, but some of the wilder rumors could make even the sallow Slytherin chuckle. Besides, it was good to see that the kiss didn't seem to bother him much anymore.

"...and so, per Bertha Jorkins, Sirius Black was found making out with a first-year Hufflepuff outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom...while dressed in Slytherin robes!"

Severus raised an eyebrow at this, a dark smirk forming on his lips as he glanced appraisingly at the Gryffindor member of the Black family. "And so...Black has clearly suffered from an Obliviate spell, a Confundus charm, and possibly an Imperius curse all in the same evening, only to be miraculously healed in the morning? For how else would he ever be caught, dead or alive, wearing Slytherin colors?"

Lily pressed a hand to her lips in an effort to stop her giggles. Then she spoke, gesturing dramatically in spite of the laughter, "And yet he was somehow on the other side of the castle as well, as Jorkins also claims that he was busily buggering Potter at the same time!"

Severus made a face, looking for all the world as if someone had transfigured the contents of his cauldron into dragon dung. "Lily, if you ever mention Black buggering Potter again, I'll have to obliviate to remove those horrible thoughts from my mind!" He then paused, a snort escaping him, seemingly unwillingly. "It would explain why all we hear of Black with girls are Jorkins Rumors though."

Slughorn walked over to them, eyebrows raised as Lily broke into peals of laughter. "Might I ask what is so funny, Miss Evans, Mr. Snape?"

Severus immediately quieted down, his face turning that ugly mottled red shade it did when he was embarrassed, but Lily only smirked. "Well, professor, we were merely discussing how likely Sirius Black is to continue on the Black family line if Jorkins' rumors were to prove accurate."

Slughorn chortled. "Well, that is an interesting topic of discussion, and I'm glad to see that you're doing well."

"Yes, sir," chorused the two teens, Severus politely and Lily with a touch of the cheek she knew the old man loved so much. However, remembering her plan, she then asked, "By the way, professor, would you mind if I had a word with you after class?"

Slughorn gave a jovial smile. "Why of course, Miss Evans. I'd be delighted! Delighted!" He then turned his gaze upon Severus, saying with a somewhat softer tone of voice, "I'm glad to see that you accepted my offer, Mr. Snape. It'll do you good, I promise."

"Thank you sir." Severus spoke in a tone of politeness as Lily gave him a questioning look. A quick nod later, and Slughorn was on his way to check up on the Ravenclaw table. At which point he explained, "Slughorn offered me a job tutoring one of the other N.E.W.T. level students-not Black or Potter. I accepted."

"That's wonderful, Sev!" Lily beamed at him, causing him to turn an even darker shade of red. "No, I mean it. You would do such a great job, I'm sure, and it could give you a great opportunity to meet new people, new friends too!" After all, it was true. Even Evelyn, Hogwarts most-used bit of chuff, would be better than Avery or Mulciber in Lily's opinion.

Severus frowned though, a single dark eye boring into her own. "You said that you'd stop bothering me about my friend, Lily."

"I wasn't saying anything!" defended Lily, but Severus didn't speak for the rest of the class, save for to say "Goodbye" at the end of it. He left with Mulciber, who gave Lily a disgusted sneer when Severus had his back turned, to which the redhead responded in kind.

Everyone quickly leaving, Lily went to Slughorn, who was seated at the comfortable chair he favored behind his desk. "Um...professor, would you mind giving me some help with a...friend? I can't name names, you see."

Slughorn's smile faded, and he gave a slow nod. "Of course, Miss Evans. What do you need help with?"

Lily couldn't help but feel apprehensive, but managed to say, "Well, this...friend's mother. She commited suicide before holidays, and I was wondering if there was anything that I could do to help him. Can you help me, professor?"

Slughorn gave Lily a sad smile. "It's a good sign that he trusts you enough to trust you. I suggest merely being there for him, talking to him if he says anything about it. But generally try to make his life as easy as possible. The suicide of someone close to him... The pain probably won't go away for a long time, perhaps years. He'll need all the help he can get in the meantime." He gave her a proud, weighing look. "I trust that you're up to the challenge?"

"Of course, professor!" responded Lily instantly, nodding firmly.

"Well then, do your best, won't you?" said the professor with a trusting smile. "Still, make sure to talk to me whenever you think you might need a bit of assistance, alright?"

Leaving swiftly, Lily began to compose her letter:

Dear Perseus,

I'm so, so, so, so sorry to hear about what happened to your mother! Trust me, I spent the night crying in my bed when I found out! I just want you to know, if you need anyone to talk to, I'd be happy to help you. If there's anything I can do by mail, anything at all, tell me!

As for your friend: you HAVE to tell them. I know that you don't want to burden them, but trust me when I say that there's nothing that would hurt them more than knowing that they could have been there to do something, but didn't because they didn't know that you needed the help!

I'm serious, TELL YOUR FRIEND! I'll be there to talk to you as needed...but you REALLY need to TELL THEM!

Your friend,

Medusa

After giving it a quick once-over, Lily hurried up to the owlery, sending the letter with all possible speed.

She could do no less.

Author's Note: Sorry if Slughorn's advice for how to help Lily deal with Perseus isn't correct; I tried my best, but I am neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist. (Well, I suppose Slughorn isn't either...but he's old and worldly, so that might make up for it.) Hell, I have no intention of ever being a doctor of any persuasion.

As such, I have no real idea of how to deal with such a thing, although advice for what Lily might be able to do to help via mail would actually prove extremely helpful. Suggestions are appreciated!

Again, this chapter is at least partially thanks to my brilliant Beta, Anachronistic Anglophile!

After reading all of my reviews, especially those of Totalreader at Yahoo and Marauderhater, I find myself likely corrected about the thought I had that Lily wasn't a prefect (I'm still certain about James not being an Auror though! One wonders if that might be why Harry's fortune wasn't much of a fortune-I mean, Black was able to easily afford a Firebolt as a bloody birthday present!). It's probably a good thing, all in all, as it means that I hadn't messed up canon in my fics in a blatant way-I try to keep things as canonical as possible, thanks to personal belief that it makes it more 'real', if you know what I mean.

Still, I would point out that while I'm probably wrong, the fact that Sirius doesn't mention Lily as not being a prefect might be mitigated by the fact that, per Hermione, he was rather James-obsessed. He'd probably focus more on James in that than Lily, you know? Just a thought, and I KNOW that I'm probably wrong.

As for the school thing...I apologize, as I had no idea that boarding schools worked that way. Thanks for the info, although given that Dumbledore seems to have a great deal of power and influence within a school-his gratuitously adding hundreds of points during the leaving feast Harry's first year comes to mind-I wouldn't be surprised if that meant very little to him. Again, I am probably grasping at straws, and realize that my thoughts on Lily's not being a prefect have been rebutted quite thoroughly.

Still, I might try a story where she wasn't a prefect, just to see how that might change the scheme of things. You know?