I took off a star from Writing Quality because I think the author often uses more complicated prose when simpler language would be better. It makes it harder to read smoothly. In short, it feels a little clunky at times.
The other star I took off was from Character Design. Overall I feel like the characters are well-written, but I would have been more engrossed if I could get inside the head of the protagonist more. For example, when he meets The Guidance he 'teases' it with cookies, then gives it a nickname. If he is intentionally 'teasing' it, what is his goal? It doesn't seem like it's unintentional though, because it would indicate a naivete and frivolity that doesn't seem to fit. He's glib, maybe a little flippant, but not stupid.
Anyway, I think the main character is lacking some depth, emotion, and internal conflict, but overall it's very good.
I look forward to seeing where this goes!