find love#6

"One year later, my mom tried to commit suicide. I wasn't home and once I arrived

I called her name but i got no response..

I walked into her room, I saw her covered in blood.. she was bleeding from her wrist but she was still breathing, my mom who was always comforting and supporting me tried to give up on life and on me..

as usual and for the million time, I called uncle Matthew and he helped us out of this too"

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#three days later#

-matthew: "your mom's so strong she will be fine soon, the doctor said she is getting better pretty fast"

-kai: "I think she is okay now" he said with a concerned expression on his face yet with an angry voice

"can you tell me why did you do that? Why would you commit suicide??? Have you gone insane? I miss my dad too.. I'm not heartless

I do miss him but my dad would like us to live for him and to be happy even after him..!

Why are you quiet say something??

You know dad well don't you??"

Matthew tried to calm kai who was yelling and crying down.

-Mathew: "kai go easy on your mother please let's go out, let her get some rest little man"

-kai: "IM NOT LEAVING I WANT ANSWERS AND RIGHT NOW!! Why would you kill yourself??"

-shiley: "Matthew! It's fine we can tell him"

-Matthew : "shiley what if they go after him too?"

-shiley: "..I gave them all the copies of the files that jhon has been preparing and collecting for years.. where would kai find anything like that to throw at their faces? He is safe long as he has nothing against them plus they won't know about this"

-kai: "them who?? What's happening?"

All the things that Matthew and shiley were saying at that moment made no sense to kai.

He was completely lost and confused.

-Matthew: "but he is still a kid this will.."

-shiley: "I know this will be heavy on his tiny heart.. but I can't keep it from him anymore.. he has the right to know"

-kai: "mother?!"

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"uncle Matthew and mother told me about what happened with details,

and how bad my mom was feeling for not being able to serve justice for my father's soul and I could relate to her

.. I had a mix of feelings, it was the first time I experienced something like that.. anger, sadness, hatred, grudge..

my blood was running hot in my veins

I wanted to go to that company and just burn it with everything in it..

I wanted to watch it burn till the ashes fade within the sky,

And I did something similar, I went to the company hiding a knife in my shirt's sleeve once I made it to the hall somehow, a worker there came across, he kneeled before me and gently asked "are you lost kid? Does your father work here?"

Without even thinking I took out the knife and put it on his neck, my whole body was shaking but there was no going back..

he tried to move so I waved the knife randomly in the air with my eyes closed, only to realize that that guy was bleeding once I opened them..

"did I kill him?" I wondered.. but it was obvious that I didn't, he barely got harmed, it was just a little wound on his cheek.. but everyone there was overreacting and calling me a terrorist,

I was a child but everyone was scared of coming near me,

I wanted to scream and tell them all that this guy's only hurt but my father's dead!! He is dead because of the dirty games this company plays.

But I did nothing but cower in fear..

They never reported me, the media didn't talk about it somehow too..

walker came to our house to tell me it was stupid of me to act like that but he is forgiving me since I'm a kid,

he threatened my mother in front of me, and again I could do nothing

"Telling your little son was so selfish of you ma'am shiley.." he said

"i always keep jay out of my things, you should learn how to be a good parent from me, I can teach you some other things while we are at it"

I badly wanted to kill him but I could never..

My mother was so scared so she made me promise her that I won't do anything.. I won't think about revenge.. I won't act recklessly nor go berserk again.. and I promised her with a disappearing voice, teary eyes, trembling legs and a lost heart.. I promised her.

My mother and I decided to move on with our lives, we decided to forget about it and just be happy for my father and proud of him.. he wasn't the bad guy, this corrupted world didn't deserve him,

we never talked about it again

and I think we are doing good till now"