A story about the most painful thing for heart to bear

A memory came flooding to Jes's mind. Of a world long forgotten. In that world Jes was working as an innkeeper that also let people borrow books. Then one day when he was picking up a book from one of the shelfs, a girl who had white hair with blue eyes asked if she could read it. The girl was young, about 16 years old who was head shorter than Jes. Jes said "This story about two tragic lovers? It's quite a hard read, you know. Are you sure you can handle it?" The girl got annoyed looking at her face and said "I'm not that stupid, now give me that." She jumps and grabs the book from Jes's hand. Jes is surprised by this and said "I was going to give it to you, you know."

The girl then said "Well you were getting annoying, so…" she shows her tongue to Jes as to insult him.Then she starts to leave and Jes says "I still need your name before I can give it to you. You know, for lending it to you." The girl then stops, turns around and says "My name is Aia Silverheart and I'm going to borrow this book." She shows the title of the book to Jes briefly, then turns around and leaves. Jes makes a note of the book "Eternal lovers" being borrowed and spends the rest of the day waiting like always.

Week later in the evening, while it was raining, Aia came running to the inn and gave back the book. She was soaking wet as she gave it back to Jes. Jes then says "I wouldn't have minded if you would have waited for the rain to stop, you know." To which Aia responds "I aren't as cheap as to keep something that I borrowed longer than agreed upon." She shows her tongue again mockingly and starts to leave. Then Jes stops her and says "You the business is mainly an inn you know. You can sleep here for the night." Aia stops, turns around and says "Thanks, but I will go no matter what."

Jes says "Why? It is raining like hell out there and you'd have to run like hell to get where your house is." Aia then says "Still, I can…" Then she sneezes pretty loud and stops for a moment. Jes says "You don't even have to pay so please stay. You'll catch a cold if you go." Aia thinks for a moment, then says "Fine, but I'm still paying my stay. I won't take any handouts." She proceeds to pay after Jes tells the price and then leaves to her room.

In this world, they have invented showers, so she takes one and washes herself whilst in there.

The next morning Jes doesn't see Aia leaving her room, but he can still sense her there. She hasn't risen from her bed since morning, so Jes knocks the door and asks "Is everything alright?" Aia tries to speak, but she is too weak to speak. After not hearing anything, Jes goes inside and sees that Aia is very sick. Even the healing effect of the bed didn't help her much, so Jes was starting to get worried. He asked "Are you alright?" Aia manages to mutter a few weak words "I'm… fine… leave…" Jes decides to use his power to heal her the best he can, but he only manages to get her to a point where she can talk normally again. Once she realizes she can talk again, Aia says "I told you to leave." Jes just says "I can't leave a customer in pain like this. In any case, I think it's just a bad case of cold and it will subside in a day or so. Feel free to stay here the rest of the day."

Aia is annoyed and says "I… can take care of myself. I will leave shortly… and then…" Jes then says "No. You will stay here as long as you are sick. I won't allow anything else." Aia then says "Well FINE. I stay here since you so insist. Just tell me if anyone comes to get me and let them in." Jes says "As you wish."

The day goes by and Aia is getting better. She mutters to herself while Jes is in the room "As expected, no one came." Jes hears this, but stays silent. Then Aia leaves and Jes doesn't hear from her for a while.

Then one day Aia comes in a hurry and says "Please let me hide here." To which Jes says "Of course." Then he hands her a room key and tells where to go. She goes and soon after people came into the inn and asked "Have you seen a white haired girl around this size?" Jes says "No I haven't" and the people leave soon after.

A while goes by and Jes goes to Aia's room and says "Do you want to talk?" To which Aia says "The less you know, the better." Jes says "I can be of use if you tell me." Aia smirks and says "Hah, like an innkeeper like you can do much." Then there is a moment of silence. Then Aia says "I was told to marry a prince of this country." Jes says "I take it that is not to your liking?" Aia says "Yes. I want to be free of everything and live my life as I choose. But alas, I'm a noble that has duties to fill." Jes smiles and says "Well, if you like, you can stay in this inn as much as you like. Hell, you can even use it as your base of operation." Aia pauses for a moment and then starts laughing for a while. Then she says "Why would someone like you sacrifice so much for me? I have done nothing to you and you are risking your life." Jes says "I don't mind. If you think I'm in danger, then worry not, I'm not in any danger. Though come to think of it, you staying here kind of takes out the point on you being free. Oh, I know, if you let me, I can put a mark on your face that will make people unable to recognise you as Aia Silverheart. How does that sound?"

Aia is taken back and says "You can just do that? I haven't heard of any mages being able to do anything like it. How would you be able to do it?" Jes says "Well, it is a secret, but I'm kind of a special existence. A god-like entity if you will." Then Aia starts laughing and saying "You?! A god-like entity? Haha… You really are good at jokes." She keeps laughing while Jes says "I'm completely serious." Then Aia says after calming down and wiping a tear off her eye "Sure… Sure you are. Well then, oh great and powerful one, show me your power." Then Jes says "As you wish" and starts doing a mark on the side and little down of Aia's left eye. Then a mark appears that looks like a small circle that has a wing going outwards.

Jes then says "It is done." Aia then says "So now I can go without anyone noticing that I'm Aia Silverheart?" Jes says "Yes, but I do recommend you not using that name anymore." Aia then says "I'm going to call myself Aia, but as for last name… come to think of it, I never got your name. What is it?" Jes says "Jes Tacitus." Aia gives a giggle and says "That's a weird name. So I'm going to be known as Aia Tacitus." Jes is surprised by this and asks "Why pick my name?" To which Aia says "Because I like you." She then gives a kiss on Jes's cheek and leaves the room saying "I hope that your little spell works. I'm going to see if it actually works. If it doesn't, I'm going to remember this once I'm a queen." Aia then leaves and Jes doesn't hear from her for a while.

Then one day years later, Aia comes to Jes's inn smiling. Then she says "Guess who's back?" Jes responds "Back again? Didn't expect to see you so soon." Aia then says "What do you mean soon? Oh right, you are a god-like entity. I'm sure time is a little different for your folk." Jes asks "So how has life been as Aia Tacitus?" Aia says "It's been great. I even saw my brother and looked him dead in the eyes and he didn't recognise me. Your little spell really did some wonders." Jes then says "Happy to hear that it worked. So why are you here?" Aia comes a little closer and says "Because I want to nest here for a while." Jes says "So you are going to be a freeloader." Aia says "Of course not. I'm going to be your assistant."

Jes says "Who agreed to that?" and Aia says "Are you going to turn me down?" Jes then paused for a moment. Then he said "Well it is quite comforting for me for some reason when you are here." Aia says "So it's a yes then?" To which Jes says "I suppose." Aia says "Hell yeah."

Then Jes and Aia were running the inn together for quite some time. For some reason, Aia's free spirit brought comfort to Jes and he could forget all the pain he had to carry on his shoulders. Aia was also feeling comfortable when she was near Jes. And so, two became one and they married and had kids.

But as time flowed by, only Jes remained in the end. He had to live in that world without the one he loved until the day that world was destroyed.

Then in the next world, Jes decided to do the same thing again and be an innkeeper. It brought him the thought that, perhaps, this way he could meet her again. But he knew that it couldn't be so and he spent a long time running his inn without seeing her again.

Then a customer with white hair, blue eyes and a mark near her left eye came by. Then she says "I'm looking for a room." Jes says "That'd be 50 copper." The customer hands Jes the money and then Jes asks "What name would you like to have the room under?" To which the customer said "Aia Tacitus."

He couldn't believe what he heard. Jes then decided to ask "Do you know me?" To which that Aia said "No, I believe this is the first time we met." Jes was saddened to hear this. Then that Aia said "Why do you look so sad?" To which Jes said "No, it's nothing. My name happens to also be Tacitus." That Aia is surprised and says "What a coincidence. I just happened to change my name to that one day. I hope you don't mind sharing a name with me." Jes answered "Of course not. It is a good name after all. Please enjoy your stay." That Aia thanks him and then goes to her room.

Later that Aia would come by every now and then to chat with Jes about most mundane things. She fancied herself as a free spirit who wandered the whole world as free as a bird. Jes just smiled and continued to talk to her.

Then later, that Aia confessed her feelings for Jes and they began to be lovers again. They would build a family and live a happy life.

Inside Jes knew that it can't truly be her. No mortal can pass onto the next world. But he could not help but to feel the same feeling he did back then.

And so she died like last time and so did the world and another eventually began. Then another. Then another.

Then in one of the worlds Jes bumped into a girl without noticing, who then dropped a book. Jes tried to pick the book up, until he noticed that the book was "Eternal lovers." The same book Aia once came to read. Then the girl picked it up and apologized. Jes managed to see that she had white hair, blue eyes and a mark near her left eye. Jes couldn't help but say out loud "Aia?" The girl stops and looks at him "How do you know my name?" Jes panics and says "Oh I… you just looked like someone I knew once. What a coincidence. Say, is that the book "Eternal lovers"? I have also read it." That Aia then perks up and says "Do you think it's good?" To which Jes said "Oh, yes, I think it's good." That Aia then starts talking about the book and how it was so romantic and tragic.Jes just agreed with whatever she said and noticed that it sounded a lot like it was the same book Aia once borrowed. He said some of his own opinions about the book as well and then both of them began a hard discussion in a busy street. They then go to a nearby cafe and continue their chat again.

In that world, Jes also got to know a person similar to the one he once knew. He couldn't help but feel the same way he did back then and continued to stay with that Aia's side. Eventually they started to be lovers and eventually built a family.

But like last time, time came to say goodbye yet again. It was like Jes was cursed to meet his past lover over and over again for some reason, but he could not tell what made this possible. He then came up with the idea that it was just a lucky coincidence and nothing more.

And so that world also ended and later a new world started to form. Different worlds were born and then they ended over and over again. Jes began to see a person like Aia in many of the world that he came in contact with. Eventually he got sick of the pain and stopped being involved with worlds and then just existed.

Many worlds were born and many ended. Jes was just existing in the outer plains and did nothing for a long time. Until a word came from one of the worlds. Someone was summoning him. He answered the call reluctantly, and what he saw made him feel sorrow again. He saw a white haired girl with blue eyes and a mark near her left eye. She then said "I am Aia Tacitus and I have summoned you here. Jes…" Jes was speechless as she muttered one of the names he uses. Then she continues "Why did you make me summon you? What is your wish?"

Jes was even more speechless. He then said "What do you mean I made you summon me?" That Aia then explains "I could hear you calling for me to summon. I kept having this feeling of having to summon you here like it was absolutely necessary. I sacrificed everything in order to summon me. Even the most important thing I have. My…" Jes finished what she was about to say by saying "Your freedom." That Aia then said "Yes. So why did you make me do it?"

Jes was stunned and started laughing maniacally "Hahaha… Hahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA." He calmed down eventually and then started saying "Sorry." He kept on repeating that word over and over again while that Aia didn't understand what was going on. Eventually Jes began to cry as he had realized what he had done to her. That mark he gave her wasn't there only for people to not recognise her as Aia Silverheart. He accidentally put out his feelings of wanting companionship on the mark accidentally after feeling the comfort that she was giving him. This forced the two to be destined to meet, and since Jes was silent for a long time, the mark made her be the one to contact him so they could be back together again. Once he mustered his strength and gained his composure, he said one last time "I'm sorry. This will be the last time we meet." He then uses his power to get rid of the mark. Then he said "Now please live free like you always wanted. This was my mistake and I will carry the responsibility."

Then Jes was about to leave, until that Aia stopped him by saying "But I have nowhere to go anymore. I'm a wanted criminal now since I had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to summon you. Don't just leave me. There must be a reason I killed all those people. There must be!" Jes then stops leaving and says "Fine. From now on we will live together. No matter what the world throws at us, I will protect you and stay by your side." That Aia accepted this proposal, but she felt no love towards the thing that ruined her life.

Then eventually the world ended. When the next world came about, Jes decided to wander around like old times and eventually he built an inn. Just like old times.

Then something Jes didn't wish to see came through that door. A girl with white hair, blue eyes and a mark near her left eye came and Jes couldn't help but say "Aia Tacitus." The girl was surprised and said "How do you know my name?" Jes gave a sad smile and said "I happen to have the same last name. As for why I know you. Well, let's say I used to know someone that looked like you." And so it continued. Jes had failed to remove the mark on her properly and he had to live his life, falling in love again. He tried his best to remove the mark on her this time in many ways. But only time could tell if it had worked.

And then came the time of her death and Jes had to wait for the world to end yet again to see if it had worked. And eventually the world ended and a new world was born later. Jes decided to go and check that world as well. Eventually he saw what he feared. A girl with white hair, blue eyes and a mark near her left eye. He had failed again. He came in terms with it. He had placed a curse on himself and Aia. Aia would not feel anything odd ever happening as long as Jes would be on the world and she could live as free a life as she could. Then eventually She would meet Jes and fall in love with him and the two would build a family. And eventually they would need to say goodbye and only Jes would remain and remember. For he is the one who remembers the forgotten. He put the cage over the bird who wanted to be free.

And so the circle would repeat itself. Again. And again. And again. And again.

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Until Jes decided enough is enough and made an enemy out of all the outer gods by attacking them indiscriminately. For all the power he had, he could not erase himself. Eventually he is beaten and disintegrated.

But the force of nature that was X would never truly die. He was made a god of a world and he had rage built up inside him. So he raged and raged. Until eventually his rage burned down as he had to make a sacrifice over his new true name. He accepted and became stagnant. Waiting and waiting.

Until eventually a thought came up to him.

"I'm going to become an innkeeper."