The Guilt of a Hero

Swinging back to my apartment complex rooftop I land and look around, I walk towards the entrance and de-equip my Spider Suit. And equipped the [Hidden Blade] and [Parker's Glasses], entering the elevator I clicked my floor number and descended slowly.

After a minute or more, I arrived at my floor and walked to my door, unlocking my door I entered and locked the door behind me.

"Home sweet home." 

Walking through my living room and straight to my room I open the door, upon entering I hear a voice inside.

"Yo! Lucas come here man!" Michael spoke out to me, I walked to him and sat on my bed while he sat on my chair behind my desk. And on the desk, he was typing out codes onto his computer.

"What are you doing here Michael?" I asked,

"Well, I wanted to talk with you about how things are going as Spider-Man." Hearing this made me raise an eyebrow,

"I'm doing as you said to train. I don't get why you'd need to check up on me?" He then turned to me, while lowering his screen.

"Well, I just want to make sure. Even though I know you wouldn't lie to me, I just want to check your mental health." I tilted my head,

"What about my mental health?"

"Let's be honest. I looked at the news cases, videos from civilians and CCTV, and reports. And from what I understand there have been some... Unsavery incidents." 

My mind went over the events of the last few months of being Spider-Man, and I could only think about the smiles of the people and mostly Ellie. But looking deeper into myself, I could tell that events had affected me like the one time Officer Patrick was thrown off a building by the suspect and died.

My mind that day was a mess, I arrived at the scene only to see him hit the concrete floor. During the effort to capture the suspect, I was so out of it that by the time I realized how hard I was punching the suspect, the suspect's left arm was so destroyed it required amputation. 

On the same day of capturing the suspect, I accompanied a few police officers to Officer Patrick's house to deliver the bad news to his family. But what hurt was that a black-haired, light-skinned woman who had an infant in her arms opened the door. When she looked at us more so me, she was confused. However, when she was told of Patrick's passing she burst out into tears and it would be a lie if I said that only the officers felt uncomfortable. They tried to talk to her, but she would still cry so I tried after.

But when I approached she stood and tried to push me, however, because of my defense stat her attempt was like pushing a house on a normal person.

"Why didn't you save him!?" She screamed at me, it turned into her punching me. The officers tried to stop her but I stopped them because one, I didn't feel anything, and two, I deserved it.

"Why weren't you there!?" She kept on yelling, and her yells brought a young boy from inside to the front door. When he saw what his mother was doing he attempted to stop her from continuing to hit me, 

"Ma! Stop!" He yelled at her, and she eventually stopped and hugged the infant.

"W-why? D-didn't y-you save him?" She whimpered and all I could do was crouch and hug her.

"Ma, what's going on?" The boy seemed scared and nervous. I looked at the child who should be like 10 to 11, I patted the boy's head.

"Your father." I gulped in my guilt.

"You'll have to be the man of the house, which means you'll have to look after your mom and younger sibling."

The boy heard me and seemed to quiver and tear up, he only nodded to what I said but his small sniffles made me start to tear up. And I stood up and spoke,

"I'll. I'll visit in a week or so to check up on you." After saying that I swung off.

Looking out of my apartment window, I could still remember my visit vividly.

<Flashback >

Doing a slow swing towards an average two-story home, landing at the front door I knocked on it. After a short while, I saw the same boy I saw last week. His short black hair and white skin reminded me of his mother, but his green eyes were like his father's. 

The boy looked the same but he seemed to be tired and upset, but when he saw me he almost brightened up.

"Spider-Man! I thought you wouldn't come back." He spoke, and I felt more guilty for making the family wait so long. I patted his head and replied,

"I wouldn't lie. Now where's your mother?" The boy's face contorted and just opened the door for me.

Walking in, I arrived at the living room and saw the infant playing in his crib. A bit further away was the Mother on the couch looking at the infant, but her eyes seemed empty.

"Hello, Mrs. How are you?" I asked sitting in front of her, she didn't even acknowledge me.

"Mama, Spider-Man wants to help you." The boy spoke.

But she didn't acknowledge him also, so I changed the topic.

"Hey young man, what's your name?"

"Mike. My brother is called Patrick and Mama is Lucy." Hearing this I felt a small smile on my face.

"They are great names. Mike, how is school?" After spending time at the orphanage, I learned that when people talk about themselves they tend to get more happy or at least calm down.

"Um, recently I have been allowed to stay home. But I'm doing ok, I enjoy PE the most."

"PE huh? Well, I enjoyed Maths the most when I was your age." I commented, and his face became disgusted.

"Ugh! I maths. It's so hard and the teacher is mean." I almost laughed hearing his response.

"Well, I don't have an education after halfway through my high school. And all I can remember was my maths lessons." The boy tilted his head and asked.

"But why?"

Looking at the ceiling, I tried remembering my past more until I came to a thought.

"My Mother and I were having money problems after my Father left, which meant I never had the chance to use technology or play games online. In the end, it cost me my education. But I never blamed my Mother." The boy looked at me and asked a question.

"When did your dad leave?" I looked at the ceiling again and thought if I had any memory of him.

"I think before my birth."

For an hour or so, me and Mike were having a normal conversation. When Patrick started crying, I went up to him and cried to him. His diaper didn't smell and he didn't seem hungry when I gave him formula. So I only did the next best option, I walked to Lucy and crouched in front of her.

"You know, even though your Husband passed. It doesn't mean he left you." She seemed to listen to me as I could see her eyes look at me,

"Even though Patrick's untimely death was horrible and upsetting. He did what he loved and he didn't work as an officer only for the people, it was also so that he knew that at least one person would make your street safe."

Lucy's eyes started to water,

"When talking to Mike, it reminded me a lot of Patrick. I've talked to the man 5 times, and each time we met it felt like no amount of time was enough to truly understand each other. But talking to Mike reminded me of Patrick, his interests, hobbies, and attitude were so much like him. And I believe that little Patrick as well as Mike will grow into the great man you love." Finishing speaking I handed Patrick to Lucy, and holding him she started crying. I then pushed Mike to her and to his surprise his mother embraced him.

"I'm sorry for being such a bad Mama, Mikey." Hearing this Mike started to tear up also.

"No, it's not your fault."

Leaving the house I promised Lucy and Mike that the man who killed Patrick would pay. And the way I did it was by actually going to court with the family as a witness.

Throughout the court, the defense team would constantly try and put Officer Patrick in a bad light stating things like how he should have confronted the suspect and how he did his job wrong.

But when I was put onto the stand the defense team tried to put me in a bad light by saying that if I hadn't intervened the suspect would have gone quietly and also spoke about how I beat the man so badly that he had his left arm amputated, and a I could tell that Lucy was satisfied with that. I responded to their accusations by saying that I hadn't arrived at the scene until it was too late and I beat the man because he was a threat to the public as he showed he wasn't afraid of killing.

The offense team then used my point of view and importance to state how dangerous and cruel the suspect was. And in the end, the man was able to be convicted with a life sentence in prison with no chance of leaving.

After leaving the court house Lucy hugged me and thanked me for helping the court to the man away for good. And with that done I swung into the city and went to help others.

<Present >

I visited the family once after and it seemed the family was doing much better.

Mike was going to school and from what it seems is now taking school more seriously, at least to the point where he was now passing the tests that year 6 was providing him and he is now excited about going to high school.

Lucy has left her depressed look and has now become neater and her frame has become more healthy, due to her new athletic lifestyle. She has also started going to school to gain an undergraduate degree and then wants to become a qualified psychologist to become a Therapist for the police force and any police families suffering.

When I asked about the choice of profession she replied saying,

"I want to do what you had done for me." Which in honesty makes me tear up, as I never helped her with anything but because I felt guilty but I still feel happy she responded to my kind action positively.