Assfuckery

You know, people say that violence is not the answer.

That's true. It might not always solve your problem.

"Adam, what are you doing?" Ralof asked, watching me set down the Anzio 20mm on its bipod.

But violence sure can solve the problem-maker.

BANG!

Pressing the trigger, the gun fired. The recoil was strong, obviously. My entire body leaned back for a second. As for the sound, I don't know how, but it was much quieter than I expected. I was prepared to have my ears ringing, but it only seems to be as loud as a clap.

I'll just check it off to magical fuckery. Having a gun in Skyrim is weird enough, it's better not to think much of it.

As for the target of my shooting practice, well...

Yeah, it stopped existing.

We camped near the river, and across it is a giants' camp. It was a bit far, enough for us to be not seen from the camp. And of course, my Anzio 20mm has a scope. I won't get into the specifics, but it can zoom VERY far.

So, I got curious, found a giant, and used it as a target.

How big is a 20mm you ask? Think of a beer bottle. Yep, it's very big.

But Anzio 20mm is an anti-materiel sniper rifle. It's not as effective on infantry. Its bullet can go through metal like a hot knife on butter. Of course, it has no issues piercing flesh, but it won't be as effective as a .50 cal.

Logically, what should happen is the target will have a 20mm hole through its body. That's all, since the bullet was so fast.

How can a 20mm be effective against flesh then?

Explosive rounds.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, watching the giant get hit with an explosive round to the chest.

Said chest was gone now. Its arms and head flew somewhere, and only the waist down remained. The half giant fell down, obviously dead.

The other giant on the camp got frightened. Which is normal, as it just saw its fellow giant fucking explode.

So, a second target was acquired.

I aimed the gun at the second giant. Instead of the chest, I aimed at the head. With the distance, it was a bit hard to aim it properly. Add to the fact that the giant is running around.

But hey, I got aimbot.

A second later, the second bullet was fired.

Another explosive round. Use anything else and it would just punch a disappointing hole through the giant.

And well, turns out, explosive rounds are very effective against flesh.

The giant's head disappeared, along with its neck and a small part of its upper chest. Blood splashed everywhere, with chunks of flesh dropping down from the air.

"Alright, I think I know how to kill dragons fast." I stood up from my prone position, grabbing the Anzio 20mm and propping it upright beside me.

It was taller than me. And very heavy too. Everyone had difficulty trying to carry it but it felt weightless to me. Wow, magical fuckery.

"What did you do?" Ralof, unable to see the damage my beloved Anzio has done due to the distance, scratched his head.

"Do you see that small dot over there?" I pointed at the giants' camp's direction. "Go over there and take a look."

"Why?"

"Trust me. You'll understand when you go there."

~~~~~~~~~~

"What in the divines was that?" Ralof came back, frowning hard.

"That's the power of my Anzio 20mm. Cool, isn't it?" I replied, intimately rubbing the long, hard black barrel of my gun.

"From that... long thing?"

"It's better not to ask."

As we were talking, Hadvar came over and reminded us that we're going now.

Well, it was approaching noon. We spent some time in the morning catching some fish and roasting them.

"Adam, how are you going to carry that?" Hadvar asked, seeing me holding my gun.

Well, I can't really do anything. It's 2 meters long. It would be inconvenient to carry it around like this. If only there was a way to carry it easier...

The gun glowed, morphed, and turned into a ring on my finger.

"What... just happened?"

"I have no idea."

"Yeah, why did I even ask."

And so, we went back on the road. Hadvar and Ralof are arguing in front, Bob behind them, with Aria following, and me at the back.

Yay, walking.

What a fun thing to do.

I am definitely buying a horse after this. I'll use my bow and shoot people on horseback. Oh wait, I have a gun. I'll snipe people from horseback.

"Stop! Give up your valuables or I'll slit your throat!"

Everyone stopped and turned to the source of the voice. It was a man dressed in leather armor, holding a dagger pointed at us.

Is this...

"A robbery?" Exactly, Bob. We're being robbed?

"We're getting robbed?" Hadvar looked genuinely confused.

"I think so. He looks like a thief." Ralof followed up next.

"Robbery?" Even Aria titled her head in confusion.

Us? Getting robbed?

What?

"Are you deaf! Take off your valuables right now!" The thief came closer and mimicked the action of slashing someone.

Aria grabbed her greatsword, rushed to the thief, and sliced him in half.

After looting the thief, we continued walking.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a long trek, it was deep in the night when we arrived at Ivarstead. We didn't encounter anything else on the way, save for a few wolves that were solved without any issue.

"I really need arrows now." I sighed, taking a seat in the inn with a bottle of mead on hand.

"Don't you have a gun?" Adam, eating plain cheese, asked.

"Yeah, but it's not convenient. Moreso in tight spaces. The gun is taller than me." I popped open the bottle and started chugging aggressively.

"Oh yeah. It really is." Bob nodded, munching on cheese.

Silence followed. We both minded our own things; Bob with his cheese, and me with my mead. After opening my 7th bottle, Bob decided to break the silence.

"Adam." He faced me, face full of determination.

He's not gonna confess is he?

"Teach me how to use a bow!" He bowed his head, hands on his knees like a Japanese student asking his master.

Wow, he's such a weeb.

That aside, teach you the bow?

"Why?"

"Because..." His eyes dimmed, his fist clenched tightly. "I feel useless. Ralof and Hadvar are good with swords and axes, Aria is a natural with the greatsword, and you with your bow... and gun."

"Throughout the entire journey, I feel like I haven't contributed anything." He lifted his face and stared at me intensely.

"So please, teach me the bow so I can finally be of use to everyone!"

Huh.

"Why do you want to learn archery?"

"Because... I think it's cool! Killing enemies from distances and away from the enemy."

"In that case, why don't you try learning magic?"

I mean, we're missing a mage. Hadvar and Ralof are vanguards, Aria is their back up and I'm the ranged damage dealer. We're only missing a mage for crowd control.

Hearing my words, Bob's eyes went deep. He's definitely going to try learning magic as early as tomorrow.

Good for him.

Bob stood up from his seat.

"Thank you for your advice! I will do as you said." Following which, he went into his room and shut the door.

...

He definitely watched too much anime.

"Adam." Eh?

"Aria, what's the problem?"

"Can I sit here?"

"Go on. No one's sitting there."

With a plate of beef sandwich (which looks fucking delicious, I should get some), she sat down next to me and began eating slowly.

What came next was silence. Well, what did you expect? I'm not gonna try to force a conversation.

"Adam."

"Hm?"

"C-can I taste?"

Taste? I looked at her, and her eyes are glued to the bottle of mead on my hand. Oh, she wants to try?

Grabbing a new bottle from the table, I popped it open and handed it to her. Seeing me grabbing a new one, her eyes seemed to dim a bit.

Red flag.

Anyways.

"Is it your first time?" I asked after handing her the bottle.

Aria simply nodded in response. She smelled the bottle and scrunched her nose almost immediately.

Seeing the scene, I chuckled.

"Don't mind the smell. It tastes good." I patted her back as encouragement.

"Don't try to drink too many at once though." I added.

"Un." With a nod, Aria put her lips on the bottle and took a small sip.

Immediately after, her face twisted. She swallowed and instantly started coughing.

I drank my own while patting her back.

"You'll get used to it."

Aria simply wipes her mouth with her head down. Her face was red, but no one can confirm why.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was morning. We're supposed to climb to High Hrothgar today. Everyone was asleep, so I went outside to take a walk.

"Excuse me, are you Adam?" A courier came to me as soon as I left the inn.

"I am."

"Some shady guy asked me to give you this. Alright, goodbye." After handing me a rolled up paper, the courier left.

A letter huh? Is it from the Jarl? Maybe from the Captain?

I opened the paper and took a look at the contents. My smile gradually faded, and my hand holding the paper tightened subconsciously.

On the paper, a black handprint in the middle was ominously placed. Below it was a short message.

"You are next."