Something Chapter

"So, you're saying that you are being hunted by assassins from the Dark Brotherhood?"

"That is correct, Hadvar."

"But, why?"

"I have no idea."

"Well you are fucked."

"Thank you for that, Ralof."

"Anytime."

It's currently midday, everyone already woke up and is gathered at the inn. We're supposed to climb the mountain early, but the letter I received this morning kind of delayed the trip.

Which is normal, as I am now on the list of the Dark Brotherhood's target. What am I supposed to do, now that the greatest and obscure assassin organization is targeting poor me?

"Yeah, ignore that, let's just climb the mountain." I patted their backs, growing tired of their solemn faces.

It's just some people in pajamas with a sharp knife, what can they do against a fucking anti-materiel sniper rifle that could blow up the entire torso of a giant? Not to mention this magical Anzio 20mm has a thermal scope.

But then I'm not really going to aim at everything with the scope all the time, not to mention I have to bring out the gun as well, and it's really big. Like, longer than a person. And what if by the time I spot the assassin, an arrow is already flying towards my throat?

...

"Wow, I just realized how much danger I'm in."

"You just realized?"

"Yes."

"How are you still alive?"

"God loves me."

Well, at least one of them does. Definitely. Probably. Hopefully.

Oh fuck I'm not going to get dragged into a Deadra's shenanigans am I?

Please no, I'm begging whoever is listening right now. Those Daedra are batshit insane.

Wait, aren't Deadras omnipotent? So they can hear my thoughts?

Oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck

~~~~~~~~~~

An hour after, we prepared for the climb.

I strapped the bow on my back and refilled the quiver on my waist. I only have iron arrows, since they're cheap. As for the bow, it's the Glass Bow Aria gave me.

"But Adam, you have a gun, why are you using a bow?"

Thanks for the question, Bob. I'm sure the readers are also curious.

"Well, I can't really be using a gun that's longer than a person and looks not from this time that can basically decimate a dragon in a single shot without any consideration for the repercussions." I answered, filling a bag with bottles of mead.

"Ah... I don't understand."

"People would be like "oh my, cool weapon. We should take it." and then cause me trouble all day by trying to steal it. I already have the Dark Brotherhood on my arse, I don't want the Thieves Guild to follow. Not to mention the Empire and the Stormcloaks. Both would definitely want to get their hands on the Anzio 20mm."

"Ooohh... But aren't Hadvar and Ralof from the Empire and Stormcloaks?" That's another good question, Bob.

"Look at them." I gestured to Hadvar and Ralof who are in the middle of a contest. They're arguing on who's stronger, lifting massive stones by the river. Both looks like they're about to die.

"Oh, fair." Bob nodded.

"Besides, a bow would suffice. Using the gun would be like using a sledgehammer to kill a chicken." I added, finished fillling the bag with mead.

"Also, you said you want to learn how to use the bow. I'll teach you once we reach the top of the mountain. I say you get a bow and some arrows too. Ask for some money from Aria. We should still have about a few thousand gold left."

"I will!" With that, Bob ran off.

Ah, what a good child.

With Bob gone, I turned towards the two idiots who's currently in the middle of lifting an innocent goat.

"Ah, what a good day."

~~~~~~~~~~

"This day is fucking horrible."

I muttered, sprawled on the ground. I can't stand up now. It's not like I can't feel my legs, but rather, I can, and I don't want to. It's fucking painful as shit.

"Bob, carry me." I extended a hand to Bob, who only looks sweaty but not tired.

"I'm sorry Adam, I'm already carrying several bags. One of them is your bag of mead, which is already heavy." Bob scratched the back of his head, looking genuinely troubled.

What a good lad.

"Hadvar, Ralof! One of you carry me."

"You'll be a burden."

"Jump off the mountain."

"Fuck you both." I glared at the duo. Turning around, I asked the perfectly normal looking Aria. We just climbed 3,000 steps, how does she look perfectly fine? Man, I really should've visited the gym more often.

"Aria, can you carry me?"

"....okay."

Just as she's about to bend over, Hadvar interrupted.

"Don't. We might encounter some enemy on the way up. It's better to save your stamina. We might as well just take a small break here."

"Sounds good." I propped myself up into a sitting position. "Bob, hand me a bottle."

"Wait, is that bag actually full of mead?" Ralof asked.

"Yeah. So what?" I asked back, chugging a bottle in satifaction.

"... I'm thinking of throwing you down the mountain."

"What if you encounter something at the top? Maybe a dragon? You can't beat it without my help."

"Damn it. I can't refute him." Ralof turned around in anger.

"Heh, all brawn no brains." Hadvar snickered.

"You're just jealous I can carry three goats while you can only carry two." Ralof bit back.

"I'm not the one who got scammed into buying a rock, believing it contained gems." Hadvar smirked.

"You little-!"

With that, the two began arguing.

"This is strangely entertaining." I commented, drinking my second bottle of mead.

"I agree." Bob nodded, sitting beside me while nibbling on some cheese.

"Hm." Even Aria agreed, sitting down beside us.

"Actually, while we're resting, we might as well get started on your archery lessons, Bob." The two idiots don't seem to be stopping anytime soon, they're trying to knock each other out with snowballs.