Warriors of Sky, Part 2: All Day, Every Day

Play "Arctic Cruise" from A Hat in Time!

Mushroom World; Toad Town Harbor

Nights on Mushroom were among the most beautiful, and it was no question why the people honored stars. They would bless the passengers with a safe voyage as they boarded the Saint Rosalina. Mushroomians were eager to board the most luxurious cruise liner on the planet. "Are we ready to set sail?" asked the captain, a brown sentient walrus, into his phone. There was a crashing sound, followed by, "Arf arf arf!" The captain sighed and hung up.

The six operatives of Sector MG gazed at the marvel of the Rosalina. "Woooow, Maria!" Wendy Marvell beamed. "It was so kind of your mom to book us a passage on this!"

"Being a princess sure is great, huh?" Romeo asked.

"For the last time, I'm not a princess, anymore!" Maria shouted, wearing a sky-blue vacation shirt with Shine Sprite designs, plus blue shorts and sandals. She was in a wheelchair.

"Well, your mom is still the queen." Oliver Orson replied. "She gave us a new Gold Shroom Card and everything."

"In that case, I'm totally piggin' out." Philip Blakely replied. "They better have loads of cheese on this baby."

"I just hope they have a good place for the pets." Kiki Yamaka said.

"Why, we don't got any… WAIT a minute!" Phil flushed, facing Kiki angrily as she snickered. "You know, I'm finding your jokes to be really offensive."

"Not as offensive as this!" Kiki tauntingly raised Phil's jar of pills and ran off.

"KIKIIII!" Phil began to chase her around the harbor.

"Maria!" a woman called. The group faced left, seeing a green-haired Mobian dog, whom they recognized as Cheadle Yorkshire. She wore a blue top with gold ring designs and a sky-blue sarong and sandals. "Looks like I made it in time."

"Miss Yorkshire! I didn't know you were coming, too. But aren't you, like, the Queen of Mobius?"

"Chancellor, really, but I have people to run things in my absence. I'm sure they'll survive without me. I offered to come with you to make sure your leg gets a healthy treatment. After all, such a brave princess deserves only the best!"

"NO, I DON'T DESERVE THE BEST! I'm not a princess anymore, gosh darn it! I renounced my title!"

"Oh, there you are, Princess Maria." The captain approached them. "We've got the VIP cabin set up for you and your little party."

"I DON'T WANT A LUXURY CABIN!"

"Hewwo, Pwincess Mawia." Two little white seals in attendants' uniforms flopped up. "We, the attendants of the Saint Wosawina, will be happy to cater to youw evewy need. We awe so honored to pwease the beautiful pwincess of the Mushwoom Kingdom."

Maria's sweet young heart was melting at the total cuteness. "You may pwease me however you wike, wittle seals."

"I guess we get the luxury cabin." Romeo shrugged. "Fine by me."

"Excuse me, strangers." An adorable voice spoke. They were approached by a green-haired girl in a wheelchair and black dress. "Would you please help roll my wheelchair onto the boat? It looks like quite a long path and my arms aren't strong enough."

"Aren't you a little young to be traveling alone, pup?" the captain asked.

"I'll help you." Romeo offered, beginning to push her toward the ramp. The velvet path made a couple horizontal turns before resuming ascension to the deck. "Geez, why are these lines always so complex? I guess so it can fit multiple people, but it's such a chore."

"Think of it like a videogame." the girl said. "You'll feel more proud with the more obstacles you clear."

"Heheh. Well, here we are, I guess." They arrived at the deck of the ship, with Romeo's friends close behind. "It's kinda funny because my friend is handicapped, too."

"Your friend is the Princess of Mushroom, isn't she?"

"Well, she prefers not to be called that."

"Ufufu! Perhaps that is best. Monaca thanks you for your kind assistance." The girl reached back and shook Romeo's white sash.

The boy took her hand and shook it. "My pleasure. Need me to guide you to your room?"

"Monaca can manage it from here. She hopes we enjoy the voyage." She rolled off on her own.

"Aww, such a gentleman, Romeo." Wendy cooed, scoring a blush from the boy.

"Now, let's dump our junk on the floor and hit the swimming pool!" Maria cheered.

A gentle tune that mixed accordions with acoustic guitars was playing on the speakers. Maria kicked back on an inflatable chair in the deck pool, slurping on a milkshake. Two seals were whacking a volleyball over her from either side. She saw Romeo up on the diving board, performing a cannonball that caused a large wave.

Kiki, Oliver, and Phil explored the poolside, seeing a seal on its back and holding an egg to its tummy. Adored by this, they slowly approached the seal. Its eyes were closed in bliss. Then, once they were close, the seal spoke a single word:

"Egg."

Their hearts exploded from the overwhelming cuteness. They would have to stay clear of these seals, because their cuteness could kill.

Wendy and Cheadle found a daycare adjacent to the pool. The desk had a cardboard seal and a sign that said, Must be this smol to enter. "Oh dear, it seems we're not 'smol' enough." Cheadle said with a humored smile.

"Not without a little magic!" Wendy grinned, waving her wand. "Reducio!" She miniaturized both herself and the chancellor to six inches tall.

"Hm hm hm! I say we're definitely smol now." Cheadle laughed, the two passing under the desk as though it were a truck's garage. Several Yoshi toddlers were scampering about the daycare. Some Yoshis spotted the tiny visitors and went to see them.

"Ooo, look, Miss Yorkshire! Giant Yoshis!" Wendy beamed. "Shall we go for a ride?"

The Yoshis licked their lips in hunger.

"Pardon me, children." a Mobian koala said to Ollie, Phil, and Kiki. "Have you seen where Miss Yorkshire went to? Always running off, she is."

"I think she and Wendy went in there." Phil pointed at the daycare. The koala walked over as the automatic door opened.

"Aaaaaahhhh!" The tiny Wendy and Cheadle skittered out, followed by a stampede of baby Yoshis. They jumped into the pool with a little splish.

They later went to the dining room, where Maria insisted they sit at an ordinary table instead of the VIP table. Of course, this didn't hold Phil and Romeo back from ordering all the tastiest items on the menu; in Phil's case, he got cheese pie, cheese cake, cheese fries, a cheese buffet fit for a mouse king.

"Mmmmm, oh yes, oh yeeeeesss…" Phil moaned as he gobbled up 10 fries at once. "This is how humanity is meant to live."

"Ewwww!" Kiki groaned. "For someone pretending to be human, you're becoming a FAAAAAATTY rat!"

"Yeah, well your shorts ain't exactly a Size 1."

"Hey!" Kiki flushed, "These shorts were specially designed with extra thickness so my butt doesn't hurt sitting on a broom all day!"

"She's not wrong." Oliver replied. "I get kinda itchy after playing Quidditch, and one time my pants ripped and splinters got in-"

"Are we really discussing this during dinner?" Romeo said, repulsed.

"No, keep the gross talk going!" Maria insisted. "This is very un-princess-like. Here, my turn: my leg cut smells like a sweaty orange."

"Maria, manners!" Cheadle scolded. "That's it, you're going to bed early."

"But Miss Yorkshirrrrre!"

Over a course of four days, the seven enjoyed their pleasant cruise. Oliver and Romeo gambled in the casino, uncaring with how much of Peach's money they lost—until Cheadle socked the boys in the heads and ordered them to be more respectful.

On the 2nd night, Cheadle ordered a pile of warm towels from the laundry room, allowing Maria to lie on them. "Aaaahhhh…" Maria sighed, for the feeling of her arched back against the hot, fluffy towels was euphoric. "Is this how I would've slept in the castle?"

"I don't think it's healthy to actually sleep in that position. But it is a good stress reliever, isn't it?"

The central area had everyone's cabins stacked up over a garden. There was a statue of the legendary "Merseal" under a beautiful reflective waterfall. "My dweam is to one day mawwy a Merseaw." a seal said.

"But it just looks like a female seal." Oliver replied.

"Pwease don't demowish my imagination."

On the fourth night, Cheadle rubbed Maria's leg wound with a healing cream. "Can I try jumping now?"

"Okay, but do it gently, Maria."

The former princess climbed off her chair and lightly jumped. She made consecutive little jumps. Other vacationers were drawn in. "Princess Maria is jumping!" a Toad girl whispered.

"So coooool!" a Koopa boy in a backwards cap said.

"Alright, everyone needs to back off!" Cheadle stated. "Maria's not an exhibit. Guards, form a wall." Her koala men circled Maria and blocked her from view. The people disappointedly walked away. "Honestly, why is jumping such a big deal on this world?"

"Thanks, Miss Yorkshire." Maria smiled. "You know, I've only known you for two weeks, and you're already a better mom than Queen Peach."

Cheadle felt her heart erupt with emotions.

Outside on one of the walkways, Wendy and Romeo were gazing at the sunset. "I can't believe that Maria!" They were startled when Cheadle stomped out, forcefully grabbed her own seat, and smashed it between the two mages.

"Is something the matter, Miss Yorkshire?" Wendy asked.

"Maria said something incredibly hurtful! She said I would make a better mom than Peach! I can't believe I was compared to Peach in such a negative manner."

"Forgive me, but, um, I fail to see why you're so angry over this."

"Peach's own daughter favors me over her! But that's simply not possible, everyone adores the queen. She's a wonderful person and everyone should love her, yet for some reason, her own daughter prefers me as a parental figure! How could she say something like that?!" She was blushing and squirming as if she were complimented by a school crush, desperately denying how wonderful she feels.

"But… is that really such a bad thing?" Romeo asked. "Not to start a fight, but you have been taking good care of Maria since her leg was broken. Even though Peach is paying for this cruise, she still could've been here to try and make up for lost time."

"You know, Maria and I are kind of alike." Wendy replied, smiling at the memories. "We were both abandoned by our parents because they had important duties for us. I was taken in by Dr. Facilier and he was really kind. In the end, I started to hate my real dad and I wanted Facilier as my dad. Of course, I think my upbringing and Maria's are pretty different… not to say mine was worse, but…"

"Still, if Maria thinks of you like a mom," Romeo followed, "you shouldn't disappoint her, even if you're worried about stealing her from Peach."

"You may be right, but… this sort of thing could cause an international crisis!"

"Even though Peach's other daughter already tried to attack you?"

"That's beside the point! Sigh… I'm so not ready to be a parent. …Oh dear, the sun's going down." Cheadle pulled out some sunglasses. "Tonight's a full moon."

"You're wearing moonglasses?" Romeo assumed out of confusion.

"When a Mobian stares at the full moon, they're forced into their Primal Mode. Of course, I can control myself just fine in that state, but I prefer not to exhaust myself. Did you know that Mobians originate from a realm called the Netherverse? We developed our intelligence thanks to the Netherverse's abnormal chi, and the moons filter that chi into our universe. That's why staring at it has such a dramatic effect on us."

"Yeah, I remember learning about Moon Chi!" Wendy said. "But if that's actually a problem, then don't visit Lunaria."

Seeing the moon glistening over the heavens, Kiki mounted her broom and took flight. She flew as high as possible, beaming as she was so close to touching the moon! It was growing bigger and bigger, yet it forever evaded her grasp. "KIIIIII HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" the young witch cackled to the heavens.

Oliver and Phil smiled at her carefree moment. "Why does she like the moon so much, anyway?" Phil asked.

"I don't know, but when she first took off on her own, it was a beautiful night with a full moon. Maybe it just brings back good memories."

"If you ask me, she's a wicked witch on the inside and outside."

"PUHUHUHUHUHU!"

"See, just listen to her. Getting all high on moonlight."

"Huh?" Kiki looked around after hearing the strange laugh. "What was that laugh?"

She gasped when a sapphire comet suddenly whizzed by her face. "Huh?!" (End song.)

Then, the comet POOFED into thin air and BASHED Kiki square in the skull! The boys were horrified when the witch fell off her broom and splashed into the pool. "KIKI!" Since Phil couldn't swim, Ollie dove in and grabbed Kiki, pulling her out and laying her on the poolside.

Phil had called the others, and all the friends rushed up in concern. Part of Kiki's hair had burned, along with the skin underneath. Cheadle's men quickly brought her equipment, and she set to work. "What the hell happened up here?!" Captain Walrus demanded, storming in.

"She was hit by some kind of fireball!" Oliver replied.

"Wook, Captain! I found this!" A seal leapt out of the water with a burnt ball balancing on its nose.

"Oh, that's a baseball!" Phil examined curiously.

"But where did it come from?" Ollie asked.

"Was it dose fwying bears?" a seal pointed.

The passengers looked with fear as monochrome bears descended on parachutes. They landed perfectly on all edges of the deck, baring claws to compel the Mushroomians to stay in place. Five more figures floated down, a group of kids: the Hope Pirates.

Still in his brown mask, Jataro wore a dark-brown carpenter's apron with art tools, a lighter brown shirt with oversized sleeves, and matching shoes. Masaru wore a red- and black-striped T-shirt under a white sleeveless with a red sword design, along with matching socks and sneakers, white headphones, and blue shorts. Kotoko wore a devil horn headband, a black shirt and skirt, and pink- and white-striped stockings.

Nagisa had a white button shirt and shorts with square patterns in brown lines, blue socks, white shoes, and a yellow scarf. Yuta wore a teal-blue track jacket over a white top, khaki shorts, red sneakers, and yellow socks. (Play "It's a Kids World" from Danganronpa!)

The pirates landed perfectly in a row, overlooking the pool. "Passengers of the Saint Rosalina," Masaru announced, "this ship is hereby under the command of the Sky God Pirates! Rejoice as we liberate you from your laborious lives and take you on an everlasting vacation." The captain was also wearing a large black hat with a red feather on it.

"The Sky God Pirates?!" Wendy exclaimed. "Isn't that the same crew Louise was part of?"

"Look, there she is." Masaru spotted the group of operatives. "That dog lady's gotta be the Mobian chancellor. We're here to finish what Louise started and stripping you of your title."

"So, that's what this is about. But why would you attack Kiki?!"

"I'm scared of witches…" Jataro moaned. "I asked Captain Masaru to hit her with a baseball or I wouldn't do the laundry tonight."

"That was the power of the Poof-Poof Fruit!" Masaru held up a baseball alit with blue flames. "When I have a set target in mind, my baseballs will warp and hit it with dead accuracy. And even if they hit on the first throw, they'll warp and hit again!"

"Alright," Captain Walrus climbed up to their level, "I don't know what you kids think you're doing, but you're causing a disturbance, and I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave."

"Ufufufufu. Oh, Captain, you don't seem to understand how pirates work." Walrus about-faced to find the handicapped child, Monaca: she wore a black dress and socks with white shoes, and her dress bore a skeletal design on the back.

"That girl is behind this?!" Romeo exclaimed. "Man, I feel so stupid! This is my fault!"

"Relax, Romeo." Wendy comforted. "She could've easily tricked anyone else into helping her, and no one would've suspected her."

"Wait, you're the girl that was traveling alone." Walrus recalled. "I thought there was something strange about you! Seals, capture these kids!"

"Aye-aye, Captain! Our yeaws of twaining in the Mushwoom Mawines have wed up to dis!" The adorable crewmen gathered together with combat poses. Nagisa drew a controller and commanded the Monokumas to attack them. A seal rolled behind a Kuma and did a suplex, then flipped above to smash its head. Chef seals tossed kitchen knives into Kumas' red eyes, destroying them instantly. The seals flipped Kumas into the air and played volleyball with them, which ended with sending them into the ocean. A seal caught a Kuma inside an inner tube, which was filled with gas and was used to explode the robot.

"Your crewmen are quite impressive." Nagisa said. "But it seems their intelligence is lacking."

"Unfortunately, yes." Walrus agreed. "Otherwise, they would be a lot worse for you."

"Oh, I disagree." With a smirk, the vice-captain flipped upside-down with a head-spin. "Alluring Gas!" His teammates closed their noses as Nagisa suddenly sprouted a skunk tail and blew gas everywhere.

"Yuck!" Walrus clamped his nose as all the passengers were groaning in disgust. "Are you a Mobian or something?!"

"On the contrary, my power comes from the Skunk-Skunk Fruit." Nagisa's human features turned into those of a skunk. "Not only does it grant me artificial poisonbending, but it attracts animals with low intelligence and allows me to command them."

"Poor Nagisa was so jealous over not having an element." Kotoko teased. "I'm not of course because I'm a terrific fighter!"

"Sniiiiiff. What is that fwagwant stench?" a seal asked, swooned.

"It's coming fwom that handsome boy. Will you pwease gas us again?"

"Only if you subdue that walrus!" Nagisa ordered.

"Yes, Mastew!" The seals began flipping and piling onto their captain.

"You ungrateful traitors!" Walrus aggressively threw the seals off, but as they kept recovering, he resorted to smashing them beneath his blubber. "UWAH!" It was then a giant finger appeared from the sky and pinned him.

"Look, my puny finger is stronger than a walrus." Jataro taunted, using a bird's-eye photo of the deck to press the bulky captain like a grape.

"Sky Dragon CLAW!" Wendy leapt up and punched Masaru, her Cyclone Fist sending him swirling into the wall! She then kicked Jataro away, but defended when Kotoko threw kicks in rapid succession. Wendy gasped when a wave from the ocean rose directly above her, summoned by Yuta's bending. Romeo jumped in to defend her, freezing the wave with Ice Fire.

"Don't interfere in a fight between ladies!" Romeo declared.

With a sweet smile, Monaca tapped her thumb to her index finger. "Boop!"

At that instant, Romeo's sash EXPLODED. "AAAAAHH!" He and Wendy were blown back. "Ooooww… Romeo, are you okay?!" Wendy turned her friend on his back, working to heal his wound. "What happened?!"

"Ufufufu! Poor Romeo fell for Monaca's trap." The girl giggled. "Monaca ate the Bomb-Bomb Fruit. Whatever Monaca touches, Monaca can pop with the snap of a finger. Now, let's play a game called, 'Guess what goes pop?' Boop! Boop! Boop!" She tapped her thumb some more, and everyone could hear explosions coming from the cabins.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" a Toad mother screamed. "We let that girl into our room the other day! She said she lost her key and needed a place to sleep."

"She told ME that the other night!" a Koopa dad said.

"How could you be so cruel?!" Wendy shouted. "Tricking all these people and destroying their property!"

"Ufufu! Monaca has done much worse things. For example:" Monaca faced down at the operatives by the pool, namely the baseball by Phil and Ollie's feet. "Boop!"

Wondering where she was looking, the boys in question just remembered the baseball and reactively jumped away. "Huh?" The ball twitched with a spark, but didn't explode.

"What?!" Monaca gaped. "Oh, no! Monaca can't pop things that are wet. It's why she can't explode flesh bodies. We're all so squishy and bloody. But Monaca has other means, ufufu!" The crippled girl conjured a Psycho Sphere with a bomb fuse and threw it down, the operatives dodging the explosion.

"I won't allow you disrespectful brats to ruin this vacation!" Cheadle declared, leaping up to the deck and discarding her moonglasses. "I'll have to do this the hard way!" And she whipped up in the direction of the moon, eyes stretched wide so her pupils could absorb every ounce of light. "?!"

Only then did they realize the moon was blocked by a huge landmass. "What in the… A floating island?!"

"Sorry, but this battle is already over." Masaru decided. "Skaios will add this ship to the Free Kingdom any moment."

"Grrrr! I can still use Primal Mode without the moon-!" Cheadle quickly dodged when Monaca threw a Psycho Bomb.

"OOOF!" The green-haired child was rammed by Maria's wheelchair.

"Leave Miss Yorkshire alone!" Maria tossed her hat onto Monaca's head, causing the former princess to fly inside and possess her. Monaca squirmed furiously, her eyes nearly turning inside-out, until a burst of psychic forced Maria back into her chair.

"Aaaaahh! Monaca's! Mind! Was! Violated!" The child flailed her arms. "Princess! Maria! Raped! Monaca's! Brain!"

"No I didn't! And quit calling me a princess!"

"Something's happening to the boat!" Oliver exclaimed.

The Saint Rosalina was slowly enveloped inside a gigantic wind bubble. The passengers cried in fear as the ship tilted up and rose into the heavens. "This battle was already decided long before it started." Masaru declared. "With our captain—I mean, subordinate Skaios, our freedom is the absolute law!"

"Wendy, what should we do?!" Oliver asked.

The wind mage hesitated to answer, unable to find a quick solution to their situation. Romeo and Kiki were injured, Maria's current handicap prevented her from fighting well… Still, if these people worked for the Sky God Pirates, then she knew of someone who could aid them: her father. "If we admit defeat, would you refrain from hurting anybody else?"

"And what if we don't?!" Masaru stated.

"Captain!" Nagisa yelled reprovingly. "We accept your offer, and we happily welcome you to our paradise. Besides, some of our other subordinates have requested us not to harm you or the former princess."

"Louise…" Maria immediately knew.

"And Father, too." Wendy agreed. (End song.)

The Free Kingdom

"Welcome, newcomers, to the Free Kingdom! Upon setting foot in this domain, you have all cast aside your worldly concerns and have accepted true freedom! On these floating lands that travel the cosmos, there are no laws, except the illusory laws you set for yourselves. Ye will sail in luxury and freedom for the rest of your lives, and when you die, your spirits will continue to sail with us!"

The Halberd II flew to Earth, looming over the coastside city of Orchid Bay, Maine. Meta Knight (from Kirby) clashed with the city's guardian, Juniper Lee, his false Galaxia Sword on par with her strength. The winged Nightmare took flight and did a drill attack, but June was able to clap the sword in both hands and slam Meta Knight to the ground. She stomped at him, but the knight dodge-rolled and slashed June's leg, the Chinese girl leaping back and withstanding the pain. She launched at Meta Knight with a roundabout kick, blocked by his blade, but she countered by bashing her balled fists onto his head.

"You are a strong warrior." Meta Knight complimented. "I look forward to having you in our kingdom."

Before June could question him, two godlike fingers descended from the heavens and burrowed under the earth. Not only did they rip Orchid Bay from the surface, but the Veil's generators were destroyed. The humans fell into panic when demons seemed to appear out of thin air, and the demons, too, were panicking that their peaceful secret lives had been exposed. Alas, no one could evacuate when the city was taken into the heavens.

"Unfortunately, this universe is filled with corrupt, evil adults who have tied their bonds too tightly to their offspring. The only way to break these tethers is an exciting execution!"

The Avalaran city of Goldpaw was both renowned and infamous for its heavy reliance on fortune. The city had a beautiful Chinese aesthetic and was populated by Dogfolk, Mobian dogs that had settled on the planet. The Grand High Roller, Pugnacius, faced Kokichi Oma, captain of the Dice Pirates (and 10th captain of the Sky God Pirates), before the statue of Lady Luck. "This will be our final roll." Pugnacius announced. "If the number is even, you return Evermore and its citizens to us, and all the towns your army has stolen will be under our jurisdiction."

"And if the number is odd, Goldpaw belongs to me." Kokichi said with a vile smirk. "The die is cast." Kokichi pressed the switch, and Lady Luck dropped a giant die onto the platform. The citizens gasped in awe when the die was stopped on its corner, about to land with the '4' faced up. Then, one of Kokichi's crewmen, a short girl, launched a coin from a slingshot, hitting the die as it shifted to the '1' side.

"What?! YOU CHEATED! That die was CLEARLY about to land on '4'!"

"HAH! That's real big talk, coming from you! I KNOW you use a remote control for the dice!"

"That's all in the past! I'm a changed man, and I wish to repay my debt to King Evan!"

"Relax, Puggy! In the Free Kingdom, there IS no debt!" A dark aura radiated from Kokichi. To everyone's amazement, Pugnacius' scepter flew into Kokichi's hand, and the words 'Grand High Roller' flew out of the pug and into the pirate. "Your title and your authority officially belong to me! That includes your army."

Dice Pirates Captain, 10th Sky God Captain

"Ultimate Liar" KOKICHI OMA

Kokichi Oma (from Danganronpa), already a nasty prankster with his darknessbending, ate the Dice-Dice Fruit. When someone agrees to gamble with him over a specific possession, and if he wins, Kokichi will become the owner of said possession, and no one else may interact with it unless Kokichi allows it. Of course, this ability will work in favor of the opposing side should Kokichi lose. The fruit's effect will also be lost if the person discards the possession. Kokichi can also use this to give his team power-ups, or vice-versa.

Also on Avalar, Artemyra was a matriarchal kingdom built within a canyon. The Artemyrans (human women with wings on their legs) were in battle with a horde of gray-skinned troll-zombies with orange horns. The zombies were immune to any of their attacks, the warriors suffering cuts from the trolls' weapons. When they were too weak to fight, the warriors were trapped in a blue web of psychic energy.

The psychic webs originated from a female troll with milky white eyes, wearing a black captain's uniform. "Yo, Serket!" The troll faced down at a fierce knight, bravely and mercilessly striking the Artemyrans down. "I'm kinda digging this town! You think their giant birds are good eating?!"

"I don't know, Undyne, 8ut they might 8e fun to race with! As soon as we conquer this town, I'm making that a rule!"

…

Wano Country was a region of Planet Historia that resembled feudal Japan. The shogun's palace was built in the Flower Capital, situated on a waterfall mountain with a ?-shaped tree standing over it. Shogun Yanari (from Katanagatari) felt the utmost safety with his 22 retainers to protect him. There were 11 elite samurai guarding the way through the palace, and 11 ninja hidden in secret in the shogun's throne room. Together, they were the Yanari Shogunate.

"I say, what is that commotion outside?" Yanari asked, hearing the faint sounds of hundreds of screams.

A young ninja with flowers in her blonde hair, a pink robe with green flowers, and sandals pounced through the window like a rabbit. "An intruder has entered the palace! He is decimating the guards swiftly!" Chome reported (from One Piece).

"Do not fear, My Lord." said Fukuro, a ninja with a very tall head and sunglasses. "He will be disposed of by the samurai."

However, it only took about five minutes for the dark-clothed intruder, Sasuke Uchiha (from Naruto) to ascend each floor and KO the samurai. Haiga attacked him alongside a sword-wielding automaton, but was defeated as the mech shattered; Uron impaled himself with an electric dagger that amplified his stamina, but Sasuke used lightningbending to steal the electricity, along with the sword, and KO him. Kairo was a samurai donned in impenetrable armor, but Sasuke struck so quickly and strongly that the armor vibrated and eventually KO'ed him.

Though, Sasuke was stumped for a bit before a particular samurai: a small, frail girl with gray hair and a blue robe. "Um, stop right there…" Saraba said meekly as she swung an empty sword hilt at the air. "Or I'll… I'm not sure how to use this thing. They just gave it to me and said…"

"Well, you could throw it and hit my head." Sasuke replied.

"Okay…" Saraba weakly threw the hilt, but Sasuke smacked it back, bumped her in the head, and she fell over as her depressed expression grew more glum. Sasuke lightly kicked her aside and proceeded upward.

The 11 samurai fell before him as Sasuke arrived at the throne room. "You!" Yanari yelled. "How could you have possibly defeated my-"

"Their techniques were outdated." Sasuke marched forward. "Just like this world."

The 11 ninjas jumped out at once to attack him. Their diverse appearances and techniques would leave one mentally overwhelmed, but he swiftly evaded each one, threw punches, and struck lightning. Yanari was left agape as his retainers lay in a pile. "Now, if there will be no more interruptions," Sasuke said, "I will be liberating this nation. Surrender the throne to me, or perish!"

"YES!" Yanari bowed cowardly. "It's all yours! Do as you please! Just spare me! Please!"

"Hmph. You truly were unfit to rule. However, these retainers of yours will make excellent crewmen. From this day forward, all of you are Sky God Pirates! Any objections?" He spoke as flames ignited his form ominously.

"Nope, none here!" Raijin surrendered.

"You are our new shogun, it seems." Hanzo said.

"Hee hee! This could be fun!" Chome cheered.

"Oh, no." Saraba moaned, rubbing the bump on her head. "I knew I shouldn't have taken this job…"

…

"So long as ye accept this life of eternal joy," Skaios announced, speaking on PA from his throne as he wolfed down giant cooked turkeys, melons, cakes, and cinnamon rolls, "ye can party with us all day, every day, 24/7, 'til the end of time! So, Saint Rosalina, ENJOY THE SLAUGHTER KART!"

The air rumbled with the whir of engines. Dozens of karts lined up at the track, eager to seize 1st place at the start. Many of these racers, adults in particular, were extremely worried, almost as if their lives were on the line. There were also Inklings, humanoid children with squid hair of different colors, baring smirks as they were itching for some bloodshed. Six of the karts were occupied by Monokumas with colored left halves, and they were remotely controlled by the Hope Pirates. And the kart in the very back, small enough for an infant, was manned by Captain Skaios, fully reenergized after his buffet.

3…2…1… GO!

Skaios BURST through the very center of the rows and seized 1st place with godlike airbending! All the other racers took off hastily as Masaru began to sing.

"Soar through the sky right by a thunderstorm!" The racers sped under artificial clouds, some of the adults struck by lightning as their cars exploded. "Cause permanent hearing loss with a giant horn!" An Inkling used a horn to blow an adult off the track and into the abyss. "Let's play chicken with tons of grenades." The Monokumas launched grenades and wiped out more adults. "Or spin right through the rain (GOOD IDEA)." Skaios spun rapidly over a wet road, his airbending whipping water to cut down racers.

"Let out some oil and light your friends ablaze!" The Blue Kuma dumped oil and lit it aflame, burning his fellow bears. "Let air out of tires and cause them great delays!" Some adults were falling behind due to flat tires. "Piranha Plants and Chain Chomps are new." Adults were ambushed and eaten by the vicious creatures. "And we have a dangerous zoo." The second they drove through the zoo, adults were ripped to death by bloodthirsty animals.

"Flying through space like a cosmic ray!" Skaios flew first through the Air Tunnel, leading off that island and toward the next one. The camera zoomed out for a widescreen view of dozens of islands in the atmosphere of Mushroom. "No seatbelts or helmets to GET IN YOUR WAAAAAY!" Flying through the tunnel, a woman screamed as a meteor shot through, fatally striking her car as she fell to the planet's surface.

Exiting the tunnel, Skaios began to swirl in the air as the six kids sang in unison. "These are all things that we let FUCKING GROWN-UPS DO."

"These are all things…" Kotoko and Monaca sang.

"These are all things that we let-" Masaru sang alone.

"Fucking grown-ups!"

An adult launched out of the tunnel, his kart flipping aimlessly. "NO NO NO!" His body SMASHED onto a stalagmite!

"DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, GROWN-UP DEATH!" The kids chorused as more adults had sequentially crashed or smashed.

"WOOHOOOO!" Skaios cheered, the other racers leagues behind him. Today was another good day for racing and he was bound to win. But just as he launched off a ramp… it happened.

A kart-shaped shadow was cast over him. His eye widened, surprised that a racer could fly higher than him. And the one responsible appeared to be… a 9-year-old girl with candy in her ponytailed hair?

Time seemed to slow as Vanellope's candy kart flew over Skaios, upside-down as the child greeted the captain with a smirk and salute. Her kart was right-side-up as it reunited with the track. Skaios' eye locked on the new arrival and was filled with a new determination to outrace her.