Drowning Away

I hadn't woken for very long, so I couldn't get the entire picture of everything in the room yet. But looking at the nightstand to my left, I saw all of the possessions I had remaining.

Three items, that was all there was. Each piece had a different shape and color. I didn't immediately know what meaning each trinket had in my life. Still, the fuzziness in my head had begun to clear, so I felt on the verge of some recollections.

I scanned over the largest item in the bunch, a piece of green armored clothing with black patches; part of the armor laid on the table, with the rest hanging on a chair.

The armor was the most recognizable amongst the possessions. I tried to grasp harder on the memory of the garment that was trying to come back to me.

Somehow, images of my hometown, Kolm, flashed through my head. The dungeon… the fountain… a house that looked eerily familiar… and then a beautiful, lively woman…

She kept smiling down at me and always greeted me with "Welcome back!" every time the memory of this woman flashed into my head. And then, after visualizing her over and over again, I just knew who she was: my mom…

That's right… this armor… this belongs to someone precious to her… someone precious to me… but he's now gone… Father… I know you died peacefully… But even to this day, I know that Mom and I miss you so much… Thank you, Mom, for granting Father's keepsake, his treasure, to me…

As I continued to marvel at my father's armor, a teardrop flowed down my face. Sadness gripped me through the realization I could no longer see him. However, I believed the tear came from the relief that the armor still looked in excellent condition, even though I still had no idea what had happened to me.

After admiring the clothing for another moment, I turned my eyes to a sheathed weapon sitting on the nightstand. My left arm was in a sling, and I was unable to swing over to shift my right arm closer to the table, so I just stared at the weapon, wracking my brain for what it represented.

More memories of Kolm flickered through my mind. The items shop… the apothecary… the guide shop… another house that looked eerily familiar, but I knew wasn't mine… and lastly, a pretty smiling girl…

I was unable to hear her, but every time she popped into my head, the girl kept giggling at me. Images of her at different stages of life flashed repeatedly, and in every scene, the girl looked so happy to see me…

I know who this is: Akane. The girl I grew up with… The girl who gave me this dagger… The same blade belonging to her father, who saved her mother, which changed both their lives… Without this dagger, who knows if Akane would've been in my life at all…

I remember seeing Akane before everything turned black… But wait a minute, I can remember something else… I didn't unexpectedly fall off that cliff when I had lunch with Akane, did I…?

She was the last person I was with when I voluntarily left Kolm… She saw to me right before I headed into that carriage… Why was I going anyway?... That doesn't matter right now, actually… Because what Akane said to me as I left… I know that is most important, but what were her last words to me…?

As I pondered further about Akane, realizing I was close to remembering everything I could about her, my head suddenly seared in pain. The next image I saw was of Akane being brutally stabbed in the stomach and then lying in a pool of her own blood on the top of a ship deck.

I felt as if I wanted to hurl at any moment. Still, fortunately, I was able to restrain myself from vomiting. Seeing the girl who I had known for my whole life, dying right in front of my eyes… It was nearly too much for me, and it made me shudder to want to see her again, for fear of actually losing her in such a tragic way the next time we were to meet.

I had deemed returning to Kolm was a good idea before, but the prospects of that happening now started to diminish. Sure, my mom would be devastated to never see me again. However, the pain of losing Akane forever weighed substantially heavier on my heart than the thought of never seeing my mom once more.

I almost decided to turn away from the nightstand and return to staring off towards the back of the room, but my eyes noticed one more item. A shiny gold pendant, emblazoned with a dazzling fixture of a horse…

There was one girl I knew who just loved horses… A girl who had only the most adorable smile and the warmest touch… A girl who felt so grateful for me…

Yes, I remember now… The girl who loved the most beautiful things in life… Cathy… the girl who gave me this priceless treasure… Even I can tell how valuable this pendant is…

It's coming back to me… the time we shared together… the deserts we shared in that café… the views we admired together, Cathy holding onto my arm…

The chase leading us to that cliffside… And the moment I can't believe I almost forgot… Cathy, sealing her gratitude and affection for me… with that tender kiss that seemed to last forever… Oh, Cathy…

As I was about to gush in ecstasy over Cathy, another searing, yet more intense, throbbing rattled my head. I was about to curse myself for ruining a delightful moment with such a wonderful girl. Still, the next image in my head would quell any love I had a moment ago.

Cathy holding onto my bag of money and my cherished bow… my body paralyzed while kneeling on the ground, as she walked towards a den of vandals and mutts… her launching another one of her powerful spells launching me off the cliff…

Everything was starting to clear up now. I was in my current situation because Cathy had done what I thought was unthinkable. It wasn't about the fact she stole from me. For that matter, I felt surprised the dagger and pendant were here, still in my possession. She must've missed them while digging through my armor.

The full realization hit me: Cathy betrayed me… The kiss we shared before her heinous act, that meant nothing… It was all just an act, just her manipulating me…

It didn't matter what Cathy's final words to me were, even though I probably heard them at the time. It especially didn't matter what her face looked like when she fired that wind spell, flinging me away from her life. I was unable to recall what I had seen when I stared at her right before that horrific moment; it was utterly pointless to concern myself with that now.

Cathy had betrayed me, plain and simple. And for all the help and concern I gave her, it meant merely nothing to her. She appeared to be just an ordinary innocent girl, but I was absolutely wrong about her.

But even with her treachery, Cathy taught me one cruel lesson: the entire world was just as devious and conniving as she was. All of the rising violence from people and monsters, all of the corruption and vandalism popping up unceremoniously, Cathy was the perfect illustration of such a horrid world.

I had resolved myself to never help out another person, in fear of losing them so dreadfully. Now, I didn't even want to stand the sight of another person, in abhorrence of being taken advantage of and thrown to the wayside.

I knew what I had to do from that point on. I had to make use of the old woman to bring me to a full recovery. Once I was fully healed, I'd run away from this place and live in isolation far away from any sign of civilization.

Taking my own life was an option, but I knew I had to prove to myself and society as a whole that I could overcome anything this world threw at me, and dying was not a solution for that.

Sure, my life would be lonely. But that would be better than seeing those I treasure tragically taken away from me anyway or being betrayed by people I'd think were my friends.

At that moment, I had to turn my head away from the pendant. If I had the strength, I'd throw that pendant across the room… But even then, the effort wasn't worth it, as I prioritized healing myself first over such a pointless action…

Suddenly, the door to my room opened, and the old woman stepped in with a tray of food, drink, and medicine. Although I averted my eyes from her, she still tried to grab my attention.

"Hi again… I hope you're feeling a little better now… I brought some stuff here that I think would help heal you…"

There, she repeated it… that damn word, "help"… I hope she realizes I don't want her "help"; I just want to use her to get out of here sooner than later!

Unsure if the woman didn't care I wasn't looking her way, she continued, "Umm… My name's Yura. My husband, Tomo, and I live in this house. We saw how much in bad shape you were in, so we didn't have the heart to leave you by the side of the stream. Please, have some of this, you'll feel even a little better."

I continued to stare at the ceiling, as Yura insisted on feeding me the food she presumably prepared for me. After a few minutes, she stopped her efforts and walked to the other end of the room. There, she sat down and rested her eyes.

Confirming Yura was not paying attention to me, I used my right hand to feed myself and ingest the medicine. Not once did Yura open her eyes to look at me, and I felt quite relieved I was able to eat in silence and near isolation, barring her presence in the room.

About ten minutes passed after I put down the utensils, and Yura then rose from the chair and collected the tray. She was about to exit the room when she said to me, without turning around, "I hope the meal was to your liking… I'll be back again tomorrow…"

Feeling somewhat recharged from the food, I gathered the strength to push myself to lie back down on the bed. The medicine worked a little too, as my left arm and right leg didn't hurt as much as they did when I first awoke.

Yura didn't say how long my recovery would take, and I was unable to estimate the time it would be for my body to fully heal either. But one thing was sure: Yura and this husband of hers, Tomo, were just a means to an end… the end being the day I left this place to find somewhere far away from everything and everyone…

There was indeed no inclination for me to return home now… all that was left for me was a life of solitude… one where I trusted only myself… one where I helped only myself… one where I believed only in myself…

Akane, I'm sorry… This world is not as wholesome as we thought it was… I'll make due on my own, as I'm sure you'd understand…Goodbye, my last and only friend in this world…