Chapter 36 - Mask

When I opened my eyes, I was blinded by the light in such a way that my vision was blurred.

My eyelids and my retina were burning as if a liquid fire had been poured on them.

I groaned and buried myself under the sheets.

"Todoroki-san? Is something wrong with your eyes ?"

"It's obviously too bright. Close the curtains"

The tone and voice were more than familiar. I lowered the sheet a little and peeked out.

Black dots danced in my vision.

"Dad ?"

The room was so dark I could only make out the outline of his silhouette. His unevenly spiked hair moved as if he were leaning forward, and his arms were crossed over his torso.

"You've just woken up from several hours of surgery," he explained as I tried to sit up. "Take it easy"

His head turned to the nurse standing quietly in the corner. She rushed to my side and arranged a pile of pillows behind my back.

My throat was dry and I had barely touched it with my fingertips, frowning, that the nurse was already at my bedside, a glass in her hand.

Sip after sip, my blurred vision cleared. I could see her half-face bathed in darkness. Only a glowing bedside lamp illuminated the room.

My father gave the nurse an approving look - well, as approving as he could manage with his furrowed brow and sullen expression - and she promptly stepped back.

"I'm going to get the doctor for a checkup," she said, her eyes fixed on her shoes.

"I'll be right back"

She slammed the door in her haste to escape.

I would have almost laughed at my father if my throat hadn't been so itchy. I drank my glass in one gulp and gladly took the other two he handed me.

"Good," he said calmly when I'd finished. "What's the last thing you remember ?"

I frowned and took my time to answer:

"Who are you ?"

He turned so pale that I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing.

"Very funny. Now answer, so I know which doctor I have to chastize for failing your operation"

My smile immediately disappeared.

"Operation?"

He stared at me before he sighed, his gazesuddenly softer.

"You lost an eye. The surgery was to grow one back. It was this morning and... wait, the doctor said you shouldn't..."

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I just need... a mirror..."

So this face was fated to be branded whether I liked it or not…

My father stayed close to me, supporting me by putting a hand under my elbow to help me stand. My legs were stiff: how many days had I slept ?

The tiles were freezing cold. My toes kept hitting against them, threatening to roll under my foot and knock me over.

I clung to the doorframe and took long breaths to calm myself. The bathroom fixtures were nothing but yellow blobs. The toilet and shower kept changing places, preventing me from knowing if what I was looking at was left or right.

My father's hands hovered over me, ready to grab me at the slightest sign of weakness.

"It's okay, it's okay. I can do it myself"

New step.

I stumbled and caught myself at the sink. His hands were already on my shoulders.

I pushed him away without much effort.

"I just-"

I met my own reflection in the mirror.

Where the original Shoto had its burn, a knife had carved me.

It was a vertical scar, no finer than a pencil, that crossed my eyebrow, my eyelid, and stopped halfway down my cheek.

The stitches were delicate, as regular and numerous as the bars of a retainer.

I stroked them gently, working my way up my unnaturally stiff cheek to my pitted eyebrow. Hair would never grow there again.

"They said they couldn't remove it because you were secreting too much beta factor too fast or something. Your collagen fibers would have intertwined anarchically, as I understand it"

I looked up at my father.

He looked at my scar with a worried expression, as if it were a personal failure.

Swollen purple circles surrounded his eyes. His hero suit was still charred in places.

I forced a smile.

"This is all very Kakashi-esque"

"Who is this Kakashi?"

"An anime character. He's really tough, you know"

He mumbled.

"You watch cartoons ?"

"That means I'm badass like him !"

He frowned.

"I could try to find someone to tone it down for you. Or at least change the color so it's less noticeable"

I hesitated for a second.

When a doctor who can regrow an organ says it will never go away, I don't hold out much hope that anyone can do it.

"No, I like it that way"

Dad stared at me in silence, looking worried.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Everything is fine"

I went back to bed and slipped under the covers.

Dad was sitting at my bedside.

I took a moment to look around the room in the dim light. I could make out the outline of a sofa and a flat screen TV.

There even seemed to be a bookshelf on the right. To the left was the half-open bathroom.

I didn't need a light to know that the room was more worthy of a five-star hotel than a hospital.

"How long have I been here?"

"Only three days"

I nodded and kept watchingthe around me until he decided to say what was on his mind.

"You almost died"

"But I survived"

"Thanks to Kenzei"

Who is dead.

"I thought you were ready. That we were. And that we could live..."

He fell silent. Then he poured himself a glass of water, avoiding my gaze.

He sipped it, as if to give himself time to collect his thoughts.

"I've spoken with the Prefect. We've agreed that every last news item mentioning your existence on the Internet will disappear. The prominent journals will also withdraw their articles"

I cleared my mind.

"What does this mean?"

"That you're no longer my son"

I waited speechlessly for him to add something. But he said nothing.

"Are you kidding me?"

The temperature rose.

"You're not even ten years old and you've already survived two kidnapping attempts and three assassinations"

My chakra hummed under my skin.

"Our connection puts you in danger. You could die next time"

"But I will not!"

The curtains caught fire.

My father remained silent. Impassive.

Indifferent.

"I survived ! Again and again!"

The fire alarm went off.

In a second, I was soaked to the skin, my hair dripping down my face.

He didn't even react.

"I have to increase security around you. A team of bodyguards is already on their way"

I shouted in anger.

I threw my wet sheets aside and fell heavily to the floor. My knees buckled. My father straightened up, his hand instinctively reaching across the bed that separated us.

I pushed him away.

"And what's this ? You're going to send me to the other side of the world ?"

He grunted.

"Go back to bed"

"To a place where the walls are too high for me to climb? A place I won't leave until I'm a grown up?"

I pushed my hair back from my face.

"Shoto"

"Yes, I almost died, but I survived ! And now you're punishing me ?"

He carefully walked around the bed and raised a hand to calm me down.

"You need to lay low until things calm down. They knew your schedule, they knew how to get you out of the car, they planned how to get rid of Kenzei"

"Tell me one time I've ever complained, just one!"

He opened his mouth. And closed it again.

"It never happened, and you know it!"

I raged.

"Not even when Touya almost drowned me! Not even when he ate my finger in the fire ! Not even when Natsuo accused me of killing him !"

The beast roared, gnawing at my stomach and burning my throat.

Spit splashed my lips.

"Not even when half our family turned their backs on you and I chose to stay with you !"

My father flinched.

It wasn't enough.

"Not even when I had to burn three men alive to stop them from blackmailing you !"

My voice cracked.

My eyes watered.

I bit the inside of my cheek until it bled to chase away the weakness.

"I never complained. Not even once. So please. Don't do this to me"

I could picture the next few years of my life very clearly.

Alone, on the other side of the world, in a prison that looks like a hotel for rich kids. I'll be watched every second of my life, even when I sleep.

I'll be counting the days, wondering when he'll come and get me out of this hole.

When I'll be able to live again.

If he ever comes.

My father cleared his throat, his eyes shining. His voice was hoarse.

"Everything I do, I do it for you"

And in that moment, I understood that he would send me there, even if I had to hate him for it.

Because Enji Todoroki always did what he thought was right, even if the whole world had to turn its back on him.

I didn't think.

With my back to him, I rushed to the window and opened it.

Then I jumped onto the tracks and looked down.

Three floors 

Piece of cake for a ninja.

"Try to force me and I swear you'll regret it"

"Shoto" he growled, "Get down right now"

He tried to keep a straight face, but I couldn't hide the sheer terror in his eyes.

"Or what? You're going to send me to a boarding school on the other side of the world?"

The cold wind rattled the flaps of my robe.

One hand on the window, the other in my hair, I risked another step backwards.

The door opened and a crowd of doctors stood on the threshold in surprise.

"We could try one weekend every two months"

"In your dreams"

I smiled wickedly at him.

He looked annoyed.

"You wanted to show me you could scare me, fine. Now get down"

I shook my head.

"Stop moving or I'll jump"

He froze just a meter from the window, arms outstretched.

"Swear to me you won't force me to leave or I'll jump"

I glanced over my shoulder.

"Don't try it"

"You know what I am capable of"

I meant the shed.

"I'll do it without hesitation"

He swallowed hard.

"Okay, fine, fine. I won't send you anywhere. You'll stay in Japan"

"I'll stay with you" I insisted, "Promise me"

I wasn't going to be fooled this close to the finish line. He gritted his teeth.

"You'll stay with me, I swear. Come down now"

I shrugged.

"If that's all you want..."

I put my first foot on the heater underneath. My toes slipped and- oh fuck.

Someone shouted.

Fingers wrapped around my shirt and pulled me in.

I fell onto my father, putting my hands on his arms to keep my head from hitting his shoulder.

He hugged me, and I-

Is he shaking ?

"Don't ever do that again"

I felt a little bad.

Ah, it's true, he's already lost a son.

His fingers dug so hard into my back that I was sure I would be bruised.

"Yes" I said, looking away. "I swear"

*

Author's note :

Fun fact : I've worked so much and so long on these versions of Shoto and Enji that when I see the canon version of them I am always like 'Nah, you got it all wrong little Kohei'.

And I'm not even talking about when I see fan art of Dabi.

Power stones goal : 120. We're really, really close everyone. Let's do it.

P@treon : Nar_cisseENG where you can read up to 50 chapters ahead of schedule.

See you in the next update (hopefully tomorrow) everyone !