Leaving Sashan

It was the twelfth year of Emperor Yu. Rainy season. Mu Nihran stepped out from a stall's outcropping roof under which she and half a dozen other people huddled to escape the heavy drizzle that had just blown itself out. The road was full of puddles, but she avoided them as much as she could, eventually arriving at her father's shop, where over thirty people queued, soaked to their bones and shivering. Most of them had on only tattered inner robes. The rain had washed away the dirt they were covered in. They had soulless eyes, yet with a fiery fire only suffering could birth, perhaps witnessing mass destruction and death of loved ones. Refugees.

 "Please,"

 They parted and Mu Nihran climbed the rough steps into the shop. There was a little whispering and pointing. She was dressed in the uniform of the Royal Academy for Scholars. A girl!

 "You have arrived," Mu Jinggu, her father, looked up from a letter he was writing for a sickly looking old woman, propped up by two of who could be her grandchildren. Mu Nihran nodded at her. She smiled back weakly.

 "You can come to her also," Mu Jinggu said to the people outside, "she will help you,"

 Mu Nihran sat down at the other desk in the shop and set out the parchment and inkstone. A short pockmarked wiry haired man quickly came to her, thrusting out a yellowed piece of parchment.

 "From my nephew at the Sujir post! Please, what does he say?"

 Mu Nihran took the parchment and read the message. Her brows furrowed. It was stamped by what seemed to be a calvary division captain's seal. The man's nephew was dead.

 "Sir--" she had no idea how to tell him, and turned to her father instead, "father, look--"

 The man was getting impatient. He looked from Mu Nihran to Mu Jinggu anxiously.

 "What? What is it? What is it?"

 Mu Jinggu sighed. He lay the letter on his desk.

 "Your nephew has gone the valiant way, sir,"

 Blood drained from the man's face. The others waiting pushed past him. A woman with a shivering infant in her arms sat down quickly on the chair facing Mu Nihran.

 "My sister is at the refugee camp in Lisen," she said in a low voice, rapidly, "I want to ask if she is well. She should try her best to leave and come here to Sashan." A tinge of fear came into her eyes, "she must be careful." She lowered her voice even further and leaned in, "she should leave by the west gate of the city. Best if she disguises as a man. And she should trust no one and come alone!"

 Mu Nihran wrote everything down. She added small pictographs in case the recipient of the letter couldn't find someone to read it to her. But she was thinking of something else. Recent news circulating Sashan said the refugee camp in Lisen had been hijacked by enemy troops and turned into a barrack. The refugees had been turned to guerillas. Their lives were worse than hell. Mu Nihran imagined what it would be like being asked to fight against your own country. 

 "What is her name?" Mu Nihran asked the woman, keeping her face impassive. It was good she had not heard the rumors. It was good she still held on to a little hope. Mu Nihran had seen what hope, or lack of it, could do during this war.

 "Soo Yun," the woman replied while digging around the belt around her frayed robe. Mu Nihran had seen this cue loads of times. It left a bitter feeling in her mouth.

 "Don't bother. We don't charge-- refugees," the word grazed her mouth unpleasantly, like itchy insects were crawling around it.

 "Thank you!" She collected the letter and scrambled out of the shop towards the post office. Mu Nihran glanced at her father worriedly. There were more and more refugees everyday. How long would this war last?

 Hours passed. The shop was soon deserted. Mu Nihran packed up her table. There were only a couple of coins in the jar. Fewer still in her father's jar.

 He spoke first, arms clasped at his back, his robe billowing in the chilly evening breeze.

 "Nihran,"

 "Yes, father?" She came to stand next to him after locking up. There were only a few people in the street. More would soon arrive to patronize the night market. As a child, Mu Nihran would beg her father to tarry, so she could indulge in the night market's pleasures-- fruit candies, fancy fireworks, milk tea wine-- but not since the war broke out. Not since she had been enrolled in the Royal Academy for Scholars and realized how harsh the world was. How vulnerable everyone was. Not since she had grown up.

 "We have to leave this city," Mu Jinggu said.

 She knew it. Mu Nihran had also gathered, from all the letters she'd helped people write, all the responses she'd read. It wouldn't be long until Sashan City was invaded. It wouldn't be long until her hometown went up in the flames of war.

 "Where are we going?" She glanced at her father. The weary eyes, but the upright back. The resilient pride of a scholar.

 "I have an invitation to the Lushan Party in Lushan to be their clerk. One of my teachers invited me. We will be safe there. As we speak, a calvary troop is approaching Sashan. Enemy calvary troops,"

 "I know," she replied silently, gazing at the night sky. The stars were so far away.

 "Also," Mu Jinggu added, "we have family there. We won't be alone any longer,"

 Mu Nihran did not bother to tell him that she didn't mind them being alone. Instead, she stretched her hand out and grabbed his sleeve, reaching into it to hold his hand.

 "Let's leave tomorrow," she would make a detour at the Academy first to say goodbye to her friends. She hoped they would be safe. She would say what was enough to be considered safe for all of them. If they could leave Sashan as well, it would be the best.

 The early traders of the night market had arrived and had started setting up their wares. Mu Jinggu, still holding his daughter's hand, descended the steps. She followed him, looking up at the night sky as they walked through the streets. Goodbye, mother. She knew she would not see these stars again.

***

 They traveled with a mercenary company heading to the military base in Lushan. That was another of the reasons Mu Jinggu had decided to go there. Lushan was a station post, overseen by a Governor - General. The mercenary company had hopes of joining the army there as a sub-unit. Almost fifty people besides the Mus were traveling with them as well. The roads were treacherous in these times and it was better to have protection. 

 The train was quite long as a result, consisting twelve caravans, seven carriages, scores of horseback riders, and several on foot. There were even slaves, recently purchased, attached to some of the carriages with ropes or chains. Mu Jinggu's brows had creased when he noticed. He muttered something about war degenerating the consciences of people and crumbling morals and established norms of the society. He had a point. After all, buying and selling of slaves had been outlawed in Yulan Empire.

 Mu Nihran had not looked behind her the whole journey, even when they'd left the house where she was born in, and where her mother died and was buried. But she did now, and her eyes only saw the rows and rows of people and luggage behind them. She sighed and turned round again.

 "Nihran," Mu Jinggu called.

 "Yes, father?" her head turned in his direction. He was wearing ordinary inner robes. Like a refugee, she thought.

 "What do you consider as the worth of a scholar?" Mu Jinggu asked her. 

 She mused on the question, for appearances. Even though the answer was right on the tip of her tongue, she pretended to give the question some thought. She had been reprimanded enough times to know her father did not want an answer right after he asked a question.

 But inadvertently she started giving it serious thought. What did she consider as the worth of a scholar? Wait, she? Not the generally agreed answer she'd almost belted out. Mu Jinggu was asking her opinion. Her personal opinion.

 "Well," she looked at him, "I consider a scholar worthy if they have wisdom, and can make sensible decisions concerning their lives and try to better their society,"

 Mu Jinggu smiled. 

 "There is only so much you can do to better the society, though. You don't have to force yourself,"

 Mu Nihran frowned. At the Academy they were taught that all scholars; and people, should put the society's needs above theirs. If everyone did that, Senior Master Huo was fond of saying, the world would be a better place!

 "Mu Nihran, with the information I got about the imminent invasion of Sashan, I could have saved the whole city. But that is only one perspective. Would the city lord believe me? Would the people be ready to leave their homes, livelihoods, lands and properties behind, as we did? Some might just simply turn a deaf ear, and instead say I was attempting to douse public morale. That would lead to me being detained and interrogated. They would ask how I came by the news. Through bits and pieces of letters? Pah! If I really stuck by my scholarly principles, we might not even make it out alive,"

 He was right, Mu Nihran thought. A scholar was benevolent, but such times called for hard heartedness. You could go about trying to save everyone. You would only drag yourself down. What mattered was those people close to you. It was their welfare that was paramount.

 There was a commotion from the carriage behind them. Mu Nihran glanced at her father, but he shrugged. They continued moving forward at the same pace. A horse with a mercenary on it overtook them and galloped to the front. More mercenaries, on foot, ran after him. One of the them shouted loudly asking that any physician traveling among the party should show themselves quickly. The carriage in front of the Mus stopped abruptly, as a man bounded out. Mu Jinggu was forced to quickly pull the reins of the horse pulling his own caravan as well. The train of travelers had come to a halt. Again, the sound of hooves. Three horseback riders, in addition to the mercenary who rode past the Mus, returned and came to a halt at the carriage behind. Mu Nihran recognised the mercenary company leader, a bald, lean but muscled man who looked to be middle aged. He did not look like the sort of person who would lay down his pride and listen to the orders of someone else. But he clearly revealed a gentle and worried expression as he dismounted his horse and climbed up into the carriage from where the commotion came. He must have given an order, for the other mercenaries immediately shouted:

 "We'll rest for the night here! Everyone, stop and unpack your tents!"

*

Mu Nihran munched on bread that had lost its saltiness, hunched next to her father in front of their makeshift tent and crackling fire, when someone hailed:

 "Mu Jinggu!"

 The duo looked up at the same time. A slightly hunched man approached, followed by a young man who carried what looked like a physician's box. They both sat down without being invited. The man reached out and grabbed a slice of bread from the plate in front of Mu Jinggu, gesturing to the young man with him to do the same.

 "Aah-- fancy seeing you here," he said as he squinted up at the sky, munching on the bread with relish, "you fled Sashan as well? I caught wind of the news too," he looked down and saw Mu Nihran, "your daughter? The scholar?"

 "Yes," Mu Jinggu replied in a low voice to both his questions, "Nihran, greet Senior Si Lin. He's an old friend of mine," he added drily.

 "Greetings to Senior Si Lin," Mu Nihran said. The man waved his hand impatiently.

 "Forget about the Senior thing. Just call me Uncle Lin. Your father and I were contemporaries. He studied at the Academy for Scholars; I at the School for Physicians. Oh-- and this is my son, Si Ming,"

 Si Ming said hello. Mu Nihran nodded back at him.

 "I guess you were the one that handled that?" Mu Jinggu jabbed his head in the direction of the carriage that had been behind them throughout the day's journey.

 "Yes. It's the company leader's daughter. The heat got to her and she fainted,"

 "Where are the etiquettes of a physician?" Mu Jinggu cut him short, "you are not supposed to disclose your patients' private matters,"

 "Why did you ask if you didn't want to know?" Si Lin shot back. He reached out to take another slice of bread but Mu Jinggu swatted his hand away. Si Lin laughed.

 "Old Lin, leave us alone," Mu Jinggu said.

 "Come on, be a little social. You didn't even ask why I'm going to Lushan,"

 "To hell with the reason you're going to Lushan," Mu Nihran heard Mu Jinggu swear for the first time in her life. She was taken aback, but Si Lin merely smiled.

 "Mu Jinggu, I know you're aggrieved. You should let it out; don't bottle it up,"

 Mu Nihran frowned slightly. Her father, aggrieved? What could grieve him? He was a stoic! He never slouched his strong upright back!

 Mu Jinggu glared at Si Lin with a clouded face. He ground his teeth. Mu Nihran's eyebrows went up. She had never seen him lose his patience like this.

 "Si Lin, get lost!"

 "Alright, alright. Don't bark like a rabid dog," Si Lin rose, "son," Si Ming stood up and well. 

 "Mu Jinggu, remember. You're not the only one," Si Lin turned around as he was about to leave and said to the other man, who was staring at his clenched knuckles.

 "Nihran," Mu Jinggu muttered quietly after a while, "I want to go and lie down for a bit,"

 "Okay father. I'll keep watch and tend the fire," 

 "You don't have to. We are with the mercenary company and more than a dozen fires are on. Just do whatever you want. You can sleep in the caravan when you want to; it's more comfortable,"

 Mu Jinggu got up and bent over to enter the tent. Mu Nihran shifted a little closer to the fire. It was dusk, but the sky was already dark. Their campsite was near a copse of tall green trees. Mu Nihran hoped it would not rain. Her father would have to bundle into the caravan as well; their tent was too flimsy to withstand the rain. 

 The aroma of roasted fresh meat trickled past Mu Nihran's nose. It came from the direction of the company leader's daughter's tent, and Mu Nihran could just make out the girl's petite figure, surrounded by her father's subordinates who were hungrily tearing at the meat. The girl looked pretty well for someone who had fainted, sitting there listlessly with meat in hand, accompanied with bread Mu Nihran was sure was soft and well salted. 

 Their eyes met across the fires and everyone else. They stared at one another, unoffensively, for about two minutes. Then the girl looked away and said something to the warrior beside her.

 The warrior stood up from among them and walked briskly towards Mu Nihran. When he came close he nodded his head at her.

 "Young lady. Our young miss would like you to join us,"

 He was a lot more well spoken than Mu Nihran expected. Without thinking, or saying anything to her father who she was well sure was wide awake within the tent, she rose and followed him. 

 The company leader's daughter beamed, startling all the warriors around her who had all tried and failed to cheer her up.

 "Hello! I'm Hua Shanshan," she introduced herself.

 "I'm Mu Nihran,"

 "Thanks for joining me," she turned to the warriors, "hey, scooty, you guys. Give her some space,"

 Mu Nihran sat down and Hua Shanshan offered her a piece of meat.

 Thus began the tale of the Imperial Scholar and the Wandering Dagger.