Clown x Party - I’ll Slap that Ass One Day

Footsteps echo through the dark corridor as a figure approaches slowly and confidently.

"Oh, you have some impressive instincts, sir Knight ♦," a man dressed in a jester's outfit says, his voice smooth yet unsettling. His clothing is adorned with all four card suits—hearts, diamonds, clubs, and spades, which Alex instantly recognizes from card games like poker. Step by step, the man closes the distance. His bright red hair glows faintly in the dim light, and on his pale cheeks, two distinct drawings stand out: a star on one side and a large tear on the other.

"You… your outfit. I know you!" Alex blurts out.

"Oh? How do you know me ♣?" the jester replies, a playful smirk spreading across his face. "I'm having my first fight against someone named Kastro in an hour. Your fight ended so quickly, and now I'm soooo bored waiting ♠. Say, are you interested in entertaining me ♥?"

"I don't know your name," Alex responds, trying to act tough, "but Shalnark told me about someone who fits your description. Did you already take the spot? That was supposed to be my spot!"

"Oh… you know about my new colleague ♦? I suppose I did take that spot. My apologies ♥. You know the rules, though, if you want it back ♣. Are you planning to use this opportunity in front of you ♠?"

"I'll die if I fight you now…" Alex admits, his voice steady but tinged with unease. "I've only just awakened my Nen less than a month ago. You'd better take your shot at me now, because if you don't, I'll come back in a few years. And when I do, I'll gladly rip that number off your dead body."

"Less than a month ♥?" the jester murmurs, his eyes widening with twisted delight. "Aaahhhhhh… I can't hold out much longer ♥. This is so exciting.…♥" He takes a step closer, his grin growing wider. "You have a deal. I'll be expecting a visit from you in a few years ♦. Don't disappoint me now ♣. Alex, was it ♠?"

"You got yourself a deal, Jester!" Alex growls. "Once I wipe the floor with the other nine rookie hunters, I'll focus on getting stronger. Mark my words—you'll regret this. But for now, I've heard about Kastro. He's a true genius. His Tiger Bite Fist is legendary. If you don't want to lose your spot without a fight, you'd better concentrate on that battle instead of daydreaming about ours."

"Oh ♥?" Hisoka replies, his curious expression quickly replaced with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Can I really be this lucky? Two tasty fruits in a single day ♠?" His body begins to tremble, shaking with barely restrained madness. He leans in slightly and whispers with a soft, eerie tone:

"Go… I can't control myself much longer ♣. I'll see you soon, Alex ♠ ♥."

Alex briskly walks away, his thoughts racing. What a fucking degenerate psychopath. Thank god this fool is so easy to trick. I got the feeling he was seriously planning to kill me just for fun. Damn psycho!

He wastes no time leaving the area and calls Menchi to regroup with her. Upon hearing Alex's account, she looks visibly shaken and quickly offers her thoughts:

"So, a Phantom Troupe member just approached you? Good job making it out alive. They're one of the most dangerous criminal organizations out there. The only reason there hasn't been a full-scale hunt for them is because of their ties to Meteor City and the fact that they mostly steal instead of outright slaughtering people. That said, most of their victims deserve whatever happens to them."

"It's best to just forget this happened," Alex replies, brushing off the encounter as if the clown is no longer his concern.

"So… you don't want to watch his fight?" Menchi asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Not like we've got tickets," Alex shrugs.

"I can help with that!" a cheerful voice interjects.

They both turn to see Sua approaching, a big smile plastered across her face. "You did good, young man! I'll wire you your cut—100 million." She sounds quite pleased with the results of today's fight.

"Thank you, Sua!" Alex replies, his smile growing wide. He's more than happy with the payout. With this, he's now sitting on about 500 million Jenny—a hefty sum for someone who only recently entered the world of Hunter x Hunter.

They watch the fight, which turns out to be quite boring. Kastro manages to land only a single hit, but Hisoka lets him leave the ring in one piece, seemingly intrigued and having seen significant potential in him.

Instead of splitting up, the trio decides to grab some food to celebrate their 'business venture.' Menchi, in particular, seems to be in high spirits and starts drinking heavily. Alex watches in stunned amusement as she surprises him with the sheer volume of alcohol she consumes.

Over the course of a few hours, Menchi completely overdoes it, getting so drunk that Alex has to carry her back to their room. As he cradles her in his arms, princess-style, Alex clenches his teeth, struggling to keep his thoughts in check. Don't even think about it, Alex. You'll end up regretting it.

When they arrive, Alex gently kicks open the door, carrying Menchi inside. He sets her down carefully on the bed and turns to leave, intending to continue his Nen training.

But just as he's about to step away, Menchi's hand suddenly shoots out and grabs him. Before he can react, she pulls him closer and begins kissing him deeply.

Alex freezes, completely shocked by her actions. His face turns bright red as her scent washes over him. Her face is so close to his, her beautiful yet tired eyes just centimeters away. His heart pounds as he struggles to process what's happening.

Then, just as suddenly, Menchi stops. Alex pulls back slightly, confused. He quickly realizes why—Menchi is now completely asleep.

"... No fucking way. Are you serious right now?" Alex mutters, loudly voicing his frustration.

Before he can fully register the situation, Menchi, now almost completely naked, groans and kicks him in the face. "Shut up… let me sleep," she mumbles groggily before rolling over.

Alex, rubbing his face, stares at her in disbelief. Unbelievable…

OUCH! Why is it that I'm always surrounded by these types of people? Alex curses inwardly, rubbing his face in frustration. I swear to the System, if I weren't so turned off right now, I'd seriously.… He trails off, his annoyance growing stronger. I'll get you back for this, he decides. I swear I'll spank that fat ass before I leave this world.

No longer in the mood for training, Alex decides to head back to his own room and get some much-needed sleep. As he lies down, he reassures himself: I did more than okay today. I can allow myself to rest for once.

The next day, Menchi barges into Alex's room, her voice cheerful and energetic. "Hey! Why are you still sleeping? The sun is already shining! Wake up!"

Alex groans, opening his eyes. His face still stings from Menchi's drunken kick the night before. He immediately complains, "Remind me to never drink with you again! I had to carry you back, and as a thank-you, you kicked me in the face!"

Menchi giggles unapologetically and strolls out of his room, her figure swaying naturally. Alex can't help but stare at her as she leaves, his eyes drawn to her behind. I'll punish that ass soon enough, he thinks, renewing his vow.

Time passes quickly, and Alex begins preparing for his next task—acquiring rare and powerful items. The plan makes him slightly nervous.

"We booked a room in that tower," he explains to Menchi. "It's on floor 197, though, so we need to head out now. Over ten people are supposed to show up. I just hope the Hunter Association didn't send us a bunch of scammers."

Menchi nods, following Alex as they leave their suite and take the elevator to floor 197. They walk toward the reserved room, with just a few minutes left before the scheduled meeting.

As they enter, Alex's gaze sweeps across the room. He sees a group of men gathered around, each looking sketchy, unreliable, and downright scammy. His stomach tightens with unease. This is already looking bad. I swear, this might just be a complete waste of time.

One of the men steps forward, introducing himself. "Ah, welcome! You're Alex Kerber, right? I'm Bruno Dianata. The Association asked me to organize this room since I was the first to respond to your request for 'rare, precious, and powerful weapons, items, and armor.' We've already laid out all the items we brought for sale. Please, take a look. I hope we didn't come all this way for nothing."

Alex crosses his arms and responds firmly, not wanting to appear weak or gullible. "First of all, if I don't buy anything, you'll all still receive 1 million Jenny for your time. The Association must have told you that, right? Now, let me make this clear: I'm only interested in genuinely expensive and useful weapons & items. That's it. Anyway, welcome, and thanks for taking the time to show up."

With that, Alex begins inspecting the items the ten sellers have prepared for him, determined not to let anyone take advantage of him.

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