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Cultivation Chat Group

One day, Song Shuhang was suddenly added to a chat group with many seniors that suffered from chuuni disease. The people inside the group would call each other ‘Fellow Daoist’ and had all different kinds of titles: Palace Master, Cave Lord, True Monarch, Immortal Master, etc. Even the pet of the founder of the group that had run away from home was called ‘monster dog’. They would talk all day about pill refining, exploring ancient ruins, or share their experience on techniques. However, after lurking inside the group for a while, he discovered that not all was what it seemed...

Legend of the Paladin · สมัยใหม่
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3165 Chs

Don’t Be Shy, Answer Me Loudly

Editor: Kurisu

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator suggested, "So, I advise that you possess a certain degree of strength first, and if you have any leftover Body Tempering Liquid after your cultivation needs are met, you may secretly let your friends use it. Additionally, during this process, you need to pay attention to a few things.

When you don’t have the strength to protect yourself, your status as a cultivator should not be revealed so as to avoid bringing danger to you and your family. This is not alarmist talk—the cultivators who have fallen victim to this particular issue since the ancient times number enough to line up around the earth once. So, before giving your friends and relatives even a bit of Body Tempering Liquid, you need to find a reasonable excuse to cover up the origin of the Body Tempering Liquid and its medicinal effects."

Song Shuhang nodded, this he could understand. One should not have the heart to harm others, but one must also be vigilant so as not to be harmed.

"Besides, the Body Tempering Liquid isn’t for everyone. Before using the Body Tempering Liquid, qi and blood of the person who takes it must be abundant. The people who are too old, with their qi and blood declining, should never use the Body Tempering Liquid, for they may lose their life. Under normal circumstances, even when a sect gives it to its new disciples, the disciples must train for several months to half a year to let the body’s qi and blood reach its highest vigor before using it." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator patiently explained. 

Having read what was said, Song Shuhang couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Papa Song and Mama Song were past their young and vigorous years so their qi and blood have started to decline—wouldn’t it mean that they cannot use the Body Tempering Liquid?

"Speaking of which, little friend Shuhang directly used it, yet remained safe and sound. Do you exercise frequently on a daily basis?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator suddenly thought of something and asked.

"Uh… before, I had maintained a degree of intense exercise. However, due to various reasons, it’s been over a year since then," Song Shuhang replied embarrassedly.

"Over a year since you exercised? Then didn’t you feel any discomfort after taking the Body Tempering Liquid?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator was a bit surprised. If that was true, it had to be that Song Shuhang’s body’s innate strength was off the charts, or…

Song Shuhang replied, "I didn’t feel any discomfort at the start other than the burning sensation in my throat. Afterwards, I only felt comfortable and full of vigor."

"Interesting. Little Friend Shuhang, I have a question to ask. Don’t be shy, answer me loudly." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator said, "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

The topic jumped so quickly. What did taking the Body Tempering Liquid and having a girlfriend have to do with each other?

Besides, this question’s got nothing to be shy about, right?

Song Shuhang replied, "I just started college recently, I haven’t had a chance to make one."

"In other words, you haven’t broken the seal? Still a virgin?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator asked.

Song Shuhang replied, "Why does the way you ask the question make me feel as if you’re humiliating me?"

"Oh, so you are a virgin. Hahaha, I just asked a bit bluntly. Looks like you prefer a roundabout way of asking? Then I’ll ask you this," Northern River’s Loose Cultivator laughed mischievously, "Have you ever acted like King Kong, polishing your banana for the woman you love on top of the Empire State building?"

"That isn’t roundabout at all!! It’s already a twenty-year-old joke, anyone can tell with a glance!" Song Shuhang ridiculed, "Besides, why King Kong? Senior Northern River, are you so unoccupied as to go watch movies?"

"Well, I am one of the more progressive ones in the group. Answer me, don’t run away from the question, did you ever polish the bishop?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator continued, "Don’t be shy young one, say the result out loud."

"No." Song Shuhang gritted his teeth, entering one word. Due to some embarrassing dark history, to this day, he still hasn’t mimicked King Kong. Those dark histories won’t be mentioned; thinking about it makes him want to roll on the ground.

"Oh, the young one’s got potential." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator laughed aloud, "Last question, has your dream been left behind in the grasslands yet?1

"What?" Song Shuhang could not keep up with Northern River’s Loose Cultivator’s pace in changing topics. He was just asked whether or not he was a virgin, what did this have to do with dreams and grasslands?

"There, see? If I was really roundabout, you wouldn’t understand. I’ll ask you frankly, had wet dreams yet? Your age isn’t that young, just about the time for it, right?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator was still playing with euphemistic jokes.

"…" Song Shuhang really did not want to answer the question, but still summoned up courage and replied, "Okay, in my impression I haven’t experienced a dream about being left in the grasslands. But, my body is definitely healthy. Besides, I’m only eighteen; under normal circumstances, sixteen to twenty is, you know, normal for that. Even if it happens later for me, there’s no problem!"

"Why did you bring up all that? I didn’t say your body wasn’t healthy." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator continued, "I only wanted to say, it’s as expected if your original yang hasn’t escaped and your body is still that of a boy. So, even if you haven’t exercised in a year, under the augmentation of a boy’s body, you pulled through. You should rejoice that you didn’t learn from King Kong, and didn’t expel original yang. Otherwise, rashly swallowing the Body Tempering Liquid could have blown up your body. Literally blown up, blood oozing out of your body, and exploding with a ‘pop!’" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator laughed.

Song Shuhang only felt the urge to strangle Northern River’s Loose Cultivator.

"Sigh." Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram appeared, sighing deeply, "Say, Little Friend Shuhang, even though watching you get baited by Northern River and leaking all sorts of embarrassing secrets is entertaining, I can’t help but remind you of something. Don’t you know the chat software has a private chat function?"

"…" Song Shuhang felt the urge to cry.

Afterwards, Song Shuhang chatted for a while, bid farewell to the Seniors in the group, and logged off.

At this time, Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram started a private conversation with Northern River’s Loose Cultivator, "Northern River, why did you recommend him the path of a loose cultivator? You and I both emerged as loose cultivators, you should know just how difficult it is to be successful on that path!"

He was fully aware of the difficulties a loose cultivator faced, so he could not understand why Northern River’s Loose Cultivator recommended Shuhang become a loose cultivator. Wouldn’t it have sufficed to directly recommend Shuhang to join a sect of one of the cultivators in the group?

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator sighed as he said, "Of course, I am fully aware that the problems a loose cultivator needs to face are more difficult than climbing the skies. If possible, I wouldn’t have recommended little friend Shuhang the path of a loose cultivator."

Immortal Fortune Teller Copper Trigram asked with knitted brows, "Then why did you recommend it at all? We have so many sects in the group. Besides, many fellow daoists have a moderate standing in their sects. With their recommendation, it wouldn’t be hard to find one suitable for little friend Shuhang."

"It’s because of age." Northern River’s Loose Cultivator continued, "Don’t you forget Song Shuang’s age. He’s already eighteen, this age for normal people is just the beginning steps in life. For us cultivators, however, it’s already way past the prime age for Foundation Establishment."

Contemporary cultivators universally acknowledged that the best age to complete Foundation Establishment was around four to five years old. At this time, the child’s muscles and bones were soft, but more importantly, the breath of inborn true qi from the womb still existed. Once successful in Foundation Establishment, one can fuse with the inborn true qi, and pave a firm foundation for their path of cultivation. With the existence of inborn true qi, there would be no bottlenecks in the future before the Third Stage!

However, during this period, a child’s body was fragile, so the ‘total’ amount of qi and blood was inadequate. Even amongst a sect’s hand-picked disciples, not everyone successfully completed Foundation Establishment at the ages of four to five.

That age was the prime time for Foundation Establishment, and even if someone completed it later, they must do it at the age of eight at the latest.

Once past eight years old, the body’s inborn true qi brought out from the womb would completely disperse. Once the chance was missed, it could be attained no more. Without the inborn true qi, even with Foundation Establishment, cultivating would be full of difficulties. Each stage advance would cost more than half the time and resources compared to one who was successful in Foundation Establishment before eight.

Eighteen years old... that’s already ten years past the age of eight!