"" five""

JENNIE~~

--after that night,, my mind is a bit clearer , Irine really knock the shit out of me,, and she's right I wonder how I am being this weak with Lisa, when I was infatuated with kai for I don't know how long, but never had a breakdown like this.

--clouded by all the scenario I have in mind I came up with the best solution I can think of..

--

--:I'm on my way to our favorite restaurant meeting the person that I was thinking to be my last resort to ease my mind..

-while waiting.. I was scrolling over my phone when I saw jisoonnie's post at IG, it was me and Lisa before she confessed to me.. she was carrying me while we both laugh,, it made e smile and I felt butterflies trying to escape form stomach.

flooded with memories of Lisa and me,, a fake cough catches my attention,,

KAI: ''ehem''..  I wonder what made you smile like that.

-I look at him while his taking his seat.. then I remember why his here,

KAI: that was fast~

JENNIE: what is it??

KAI: well~~ I was looking at you from afar earlier and you have this smile that can brighten anyone's day, then suddenly flips..

--I don't know how to respond to his statement,. I just give him a small tight smile.

KAI: anyways~~ what's this you wanted to talk about? any problems running to your mind?

JENNIE: I uhh~ I don't know where to start..

KAI: just breathe,, there's no easy way to overcome whatever it is that's bothering you but to let it out..(smile)

-I looked at him for few seconds trying to organized everything on my head,,

JENNIE: when~ did you know that you really are in love with crystal??

-kai show a cheeky grin and tilt his head,

KAI: ohh~ so its a love problem...

-he put his fingers under his chin and start to think.

KAI: when?? hmmmm~~ well at first I can't really figure out if its love already.. I mean she's so nice to me and help me in a way that even if I don't ask she would know that I needed a hand ,

then I start to get used to it,, I always seek for her presence.. a simple smile from her completes my day.. but still I didn't believe what I feel, all I was thinking is that I'm just happy having her around me..

--then one time she have her vacation,, It didn't bother me at first until days passed not seeing her made my everyday life so dull and gloomy, I start to look for her.. long for her, and its too much that it pains me.. I felt suffocated, seems like I need her near me to breathe again..

JENNIE: don't we always feel that when were apart from our friends that  so close to us?

KAI: your right.. its just on the next level.. yes you'll miss your friends so much when they were gone , but the feeling of wanting another person to the point that you want to cage them in your arms and never let go is a different story..

--I'm not saying that I am an expert but,, know this,, there's a big difference between the affection you have to your close friends and the person you really love,, you only wouldn't be able to tell the difference if you contradict your heart and force to believe what you have in mind..

-;; kai was right. every time I feel some unknown feeling for Lisa I keep on convincing my self that its just nothing,, that maybe I just missed the way we are before I broke her heart,. everything is crystal all I have to do is to accept the fact that I really have feelings for Lisa,,'more than just a friend'-

KAI: so~~who is he?  whose the lucky guy?

--I just smiled at his question, will he be disgusted if he knew..

JENNIE: uhmm its uhh.. (clear throat) she's a ''SHE''

-kai's mouth formed a small oh.. with an amused look..

JENNIE: your not disgusted on me??

KAI: why would I??

JENNIE: well.. because I'm attracted to same gender. I mean some people find it weird and other even discriminate..

KAI" first of.. I'm not those some people. I am your friend,,  and like what you said,, "" you fell in love with the person not the gender'' so who am I to judge?,,, as long as your happy..

JENNIE: thanks~~ but I will let you meet her soon,, that if she accepts me..

KAI: what are you saying.. people at your school are head over hills to you.. I'm sure I will meet her one of this day..

--

-I really needed that talk with kai.. aside from the good advice from him.. I have proved something.. while were talking.. I don't feel any affection.. its a total platonic relationship between friends,, no nervousness.. unlike how much I was shaking when Lisa is near me... no rapid heartbeat,, compared to how my heart skip a beat every time I see her,, and I don't feel like slow mo. with thousands of butterflies that was trying to escape my stomach the moment her eyes meets mine.. so yeah I think 'I'm in love with her''

FF

-Kai offer to bring me back to the dorm,, I didn't argue anymore and just let him.. were at the front door thanking him for the ride.

JENNIE: you sure you don't want to come in?

KAI: nah~~ crystal is waiting for me. I just want to make sure you'll get home safe..

JENNIE" kai. I'm not a child anymore.

KAI: I know. you even already struggling with ''love problem'' (smirked)

JENNIE: shut up!!

KAI: but seriously.. who ever that is.. make sure you take care of your self,, and don't let her hurt you okay~~ I don't punch girls..

JENNIE: (laugh) don't bother I can easily beat her up if she does..

KAI: no doubt about it... now come here let me hug you.. I miss you little mandu..

--

kai engulfs me with tight embrace.. this is one of the reason why I thought I was in love with him,, he cares about me so much,, the way I feel so safe when I'm with him, but I understand know ,its because he treats me like his little sister that needs his protection.. I can't thank him enough for always there whenever I needed him..

-still in kai's arms ,,I heard the door opens,, I didn't bother to looks since it might just one of my friends when someone talk..

ROSE: Jennie!! your back,,

-I was about to answer her tilting my head then my world stops when I saw whose Infront of me,. her tall frame the usual long blond hair with cute bangs,, and her eyes,, her eyes looks sad,, she looks at me then hover her eyes to the person beside me,, I look up to kai,, I saw him smirk,, I was stunned of his next action,, he grabbed my shoulder and planted a soft kiss on my forehead then he whispers,,

KAI: lets give her a little push~~

-I look at him confused,, ''does he know'' he rub my cheeks with his thumb then step back,

KAI: hi good evening I just drop Jennie,, I'll go ahead,.

he waves his hands to them and said,

KAI: goodnight ''my mandu'' (wink)

--what was that all about.. I don't know what his thinking.. comprehending kai's attitude,, rose call me out.

ROSE are you just going to stay there? come here.. look whose back..!!

-rose hold Lisa's shoulder.. she just staring at me then she curve her lips sending me smile a very forced smile,,

JENNIE: li-Lisa~~

LISA: uhmm.. chip I'm a little tired with the~~ airplane and stuff,, I'll just rest.. night.

-she pat rose's head and went inside without looking back at me. I felt a pang on my chest,, Is she ignoring me??

ROSE: hey~ what was that? are you and kai??

JENNIE: what?? NO!!

ROSE: then why are you hugging like you haven't seen each other for so long? the worst thing is in front of Lisa..

IRINE: yeah.. he even kisses you,, I thought your into Lisa now..

-Irine came walking near us with her arms cross Infront of her chest.

JENNIE: he kisses e at the forehead he always do that,, we just talked, and yes I am into Lisa..

ROSE: tough. because right now, I'm sure Lisa is thinking the opposite, I mean seeing the girl I like with the guy she likes .. hmmm smells trouble.

JENNIE: what do you mean.. I don't like kai that way anymore.. that's actually why I needed to talk to him to clear out my mind,

IRINE: that's good to hear then.. but Lisa don't know that.. Aaaaiiishh.. the aura just changed,,

ROSE: yeah~~ if you just saw how happy she is earlier when she came back, she even look for you first.. her tone is so excited,,

JENNIE: what should I do..

--they both look each other then look at me..

ROSE/IRINE: do the ''JENNIE KIM'' way!!

JENNIE: what??