"" four""

Annyeong!! 💛💛

😘

---------

JENNIE~~

--Ughhhhh!!!,, I felt my head like breaking.. ''why did I even get drunk last night.. !! walking like a zombie I reached the kitchen,, and while I'm drinking a cold water.. someone spokes,

ROSE: here~ take this , it will help you feel better.

JENNIE: thanks~~ but how did you know I have a hang over??

ROSE: I didn't,, but aside from you look like one.. Lisa give that to me to give to you~~

JENNIE: Lisa~~ uhm where is she?

ROSE: at the UNI~ she has lecture..

-rose is looking at me like waiting for me to say something..

JENNIE: what??

ROSE: what~~?? tell me what happened..?

JENNIE: (sigh) I don't even remember how I got home chip.

ROSE: well maybe you can ask Lisa,, I mean last night I saw her running like hell and she didn't even hear me when I'm calling her.. and she even knows about you getting a hang over..

JENNIE: I don't know~~ it's just--(cut off)

--my memories from last night just took over,, all became clear,, my eyes got widen adn I cover my mouth looking at rose.

ROSE: did you remember everything now??

JENNIE: oh my god!

ROSE: what is it tell me!!

JENNIE: I have to go~~

--not answering rose.. I found myself running towards my room and as I enters and closed the door, I lean my back and curse myself.

''sh*t!! Why did I do that!! aiiishhhhh!!''

----

AN/

-at the cab- Lisa sat far away from Jennie.. and the latter was trying to reach her.. ''lisaaa~~~ come here.. -- 'no! stay there..'' Lisa just leans her head to the car window,, when she felt warm on her side.. Jennie is now leaning to her,,.--''do-don't you like me anymore Lisa-yah???-- she tilts her head looking up to Lisa while pouting.. she just heave a breath and look back to Jennie..

'' your drunk~~ just sit still will be home soon..''

--few minutes after,, Jennie start to pull Lisa's sleeve asking for attention.. Lisa just ignore her and continue to avert her eyes at the window,, then Jennie mumbled words that is very clear to Lisa's ear..

''I take it back~~ I- I don't want you to move on~~

--confused if she heard the latter right.. Lisa search for Jennie's eyes.. '' no Lisa.. she's drunk.. don't make your hopes high..'' convincing herself she just plays deaf.

-----

JENNIE POV

--already afternoon when I stepped at the school,, and I'm on my way to the library when I saw my friends at the hallway.. jisoonnie and Seul was bickering into something while Irine and rose was just laughing at them.. then my eyes landed to Lisa.. she was leaning her back at the wall,,- she's scrunching her nose made her so cute.. I can't remember when I started looking for her in crowd.. but just like rose said,, Lisa is a head turner,, I can't help but question myself,, if when she confessed to me before I wasn't all over kai,, will i even dare reject her??,,.

-with my eyes glued to her I slowly walked over to them.. rose and Irine noticed me and waved their hands on me,, earning an attention from Lisa .. She looked at me with a smile.. I don't know if it's just me but I feel like floating.. I heard rose talked to me.

ROSE: hey~~ Jen where are you going??

--not responding to her I got my vision stock to Lisa.. I saw how her smile grew wider than she speaks,

LISA: hi Jennie~~

JENNIE: hi~~~

--I was lost in the moment of our staring game when I felt something weird.. like a loud thump on my chest.. then I suddenly like losing air.. my sight became blurry and I step back..

ROSE: hey~~ are you okay?

--I made another step back, not knowing what to do,, my feet found itself to escape from them... I enter to the very first door I saw...

--sitting on a cubicle.. I was in the comfort room clutching my chest..

''what just happened''?? I'm panting like I was chased.. Squeezing my eyes shut, I heard a knock.

LISA: Jennie?? Are you in there?? Are you okay?

JENNIE: ye-yeah (clears throat) I just uhm,, my stomach hurts. But I'm fine, you can leave now..

**SILENCE**

--when I haven't heard anything, I slowly stand up,, I'm about to open the cubicle door,,,

LISA: can I talk to you Jennie.

--I was startled and my hands starts to trembles..

JENNIE: I don't think it's the right time Lisa..

LISA: then when is the right time?

JENNIE: I don't know..

--i feel bad for hiding from her,,.. why do I feel this way,,

LISA: Let me ask you a question, then I won't bother you..

-I didn't answer then she continues-

LISA:  what you said last night~~ is it just because you're drunk.. or that's what you really feel??

- I lost count of how many times I swallow my own saliva..

JENNIE: I'm not sure Lisa.. I uhm I don't even remember what exactly happened last night (lies)

LISA: you~~ don't remember anything?

JENNIE: yes..

LISA: can you at least come out so I can see you??

--I balled my hands into fist until it turns white, I want to slap myself,,

JENNIE: I can't~~ I'm sorry. its better this way..

-another minute of silence embedded the room.. then~~

LISA: hmm.. I see.. I guess I have the answer to my question now..

--well, uhh.. I'll leave you now.. like what I said I won't bother you..

--hearing those words,, I feel like hypnotized,, spacing out my eyes got foggy then a warn water touched my cheeks rolling down to my chin.. my breathing became heavy,, this is worse than what I felt earlier,,

----

--more than a week has passed,, I can't barely see Lisa.. she's either at her club or out for some research as per Roseanne.., I'm not sure if this is what she meant about not bothering me..  and I still can't figure out what I really feel. I know I like her but I'm still confused..

--I went home on ordinary evening, I found my friends at the living room like they were in a meeting,

JISOO: jendukie you're late!!

JENNIE: just when did we start to have a curfew??

-I rolled my eyes to her and about to went upstairs..

ROSE: what she means is that you haven't get the chance to say goodbye to Lisa~~

-my eyes widen I turn to face rose.

JENNIE: what did mean say goodbye to Lisa??

SEULGI: well~~ she left just an hour ago for Paris..

JENNIE: she left? why~~

-I almost whispered my words..

ROSE: remember what I have told you that she's busy?? she finally accepted the offer for junior photographer's aspirant.. and these past weeks she's been working for her portfolio..

JISOO: yeah.. Lisa has great talent.. I'm just wondering why she haven't accepted that before they really like her work..

_I was left stunned on my feet,, not uttering a word.

IRINE: don't worry it was just for 3 months she'll be back..

SEULGI: actually, about that she told me that if it goes well, she might just transfer and continue her studies there..

--It can't be.. this is too much.. I feel like fainting.. I turn my back to them and start walking to the stairs.

JENNIE: I uhm- I'll to go my room now. I want to rest ~~ good night..

ROSE: you don't want to eat dinner??

--shaking my head I continue to walk to my room and lean at the door as I closed it..

-I cried,, for some reason I felt so much pain in my chest..

''did she already left me??~~ Is she doing this because she really wanted to move on from me totally?? I should have told her that what I said was true,, that I don't want her to move on from me until I figure out everything.. I should have at least be true to myself...now she's gone and I might not see her again..~~(sobbing)

-I drowned myself in tears the whole night.. I'm sure my eyes will be swollen tomorrow..

--FF

3 weeks have passed literally just a blink of an eye..  and all those days I feel empty inside,, I missed the presence of certain someone,, my friend has constantly asking me out,, they might have noticed for me being aloof, I really don't feel like going anywhere aside from my room after school.. simply because everywhere I go even at the UNI or Anywhere in this dorm, I can see Lisa in every corner,, I hear her laugh , I think I'm going crazy, I never long for someone like this,,

--Saturday night 4th week of Lisa disappearance rose and Irine knocked on my door..

ROSE: Jen Jen~~ would you like to come with us??

JENNIE: no~~ have fun-(cut off)

IRINE: It's always the same answer Jennie.. it's kind of irritating ,

ROSE: Irine~~

IRINE: what? ~~ seriously what's happening to you.. its seems that someone died. you were not like this when kai dumped you!

JENNIE: Irine I'm fine,, I'm just busy..

IRINE: of what?? thinking about Lisa??

ROSE: that's enough Irine.. just let her..

IRINE: let her??? rose look at her!!

JENNIE: I'M FINE IRINE!! can you just go I want to be alone..

IRINE: yeah right.. convince yourself,, if you really love Lisa why didn't you tell her?? you let her go just like that and you became like this..? made up your mind!

JENNIE: what do you want me to do huh?? I don't even understand my own feelings.. Yes, I want her,, I'm not sure if this is really love I feel for her, I was afraid that I'm going to make the same mistake!!

IRINE: kai and Lisa are totally different Jennie,. You never went this far when you're into kai,, we didn't even noticed that you liked him~~ but look at yourself when it comes with Lisa. it shows in every move you make.. Your emotions show without effort how can you not tell the difference,, all people around you see that.

ROSE: I'm sorry Jennie but Irine was right.. you should stop comparing what you feel for Lisa from what you had with kai.. and~~ just want to let you know.. Lisa confessed to us about her feelings for you.. she cried and asked us to take care of you

--rose's words stunned me for a moment,, how can Lisa be so brave and I can't even do that,.., I burst into tears placing my palm covering my face,, my shoulders are shaking,, then I felt a hug.

ROSE: Jennie it's okay.. were for you..

--I look over Irine,, she just rolls her eyes on me and sigh..

IRINE: come here you dimwit.. (hugging Jennie) I hate seeing you like this,, were mean girls and you being like a loser damages our reputation that's why I'm mad,

JENNIE: I know. I'm sorry.. This love thing really hit me so hard,, I almost forgot.

-Irine cupped my face to make me look at her.

IRINE: listen okay.. fix yourself.. and when that monkey come back make sure to cage her, understood?

JENNIE: but~~ what if she won't come back..

--a pillow landed to my head,,

ROSE: stop that negative thought jendukie!!.. Lisa is so into you.. she might be hurt but I'm sure she will come back for you..

-I just smile and nod my head then another person enters my room..

JISOO: are you done?? it's getting late.. ,, are you okay now jendukie??

JENNIE: neh~~ unnie.. thank you.

IRINE: so, are you really not coming?

JENNIE: hmmm(shaking her head) I will be fine ,, and my eyes are swollen I don't want to go out like this ,, I'm so ugly..

IRINE: alright suit yourself.. but I can't imagine anyone in this planet saying that '' Jennie Kim'' is ugly..

ROSE: hell yeah..

--I'm so lucky to have them,