call of cthulhu rpg funny stories

The Taoist ancestor is Cthulhu

"The Way can be understood, and surname can be named, but not ordinary. Without a name, it's the beginning of heaven and earth. With a name, it's the mother of all things. Well, there might be another 'name,' called the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, hehe..." "I've achieved enlightenment! I've achieved enlightenment! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Watching his fellow Daoist whose skull has split open, the ribcage torn, growing wings of flesh, and flying into the sky, Li Fan, with lingering fear, stops his sermon for the day. "Sigh, I can't just blabber about the Daoist skill anymore, I've driven another one mad..."

Axe Warrior · Eastern

Two Realms Shuttle Gate: Don't Call Me a Demon!

Su Jie, capable of traveling between Blue Star and the Cultivation World, discovered that cultivation was just too difficult. Spirit Pills, Magic Artifacts, Pocket Worlds, and inherent comprehension—each was a mountain on the long road to immortality. Not until Su Jie found out that Demon Cultivators refined corpses by killing, extracted souls to cultivate fiends, and used fear as sustenance for their cultivation. Need souls to consecrate a Soul Summoning Banner? Get to know the pig farms that slaughter millions of pigs a year. Need human fear to cultivate fierce ghosts? Stock up on ghost houses, horror films, and horror games... Need fresh blood for Demon Techniques? Across the ocean, America is the world's largest grey market blood transfusion station... ...... Years later. "You devil, how many people have you killed? And you still have the face to call yourself a good person? Pah, today I shall act on behalf of heaven to mete out justice." The Tianyuan World's most beautiful person's eyebrows were furrowed with rage, as she stared at the terrifying Devil before her, enveloped in wronged souls, with thousands of ghosts parading on his Soul Banner, seated in a palace made of bones, she posed her soulful question. The Devil slowly stood up and pulled out a business card that read "Hua Country's Philanthropist of the Year / Founder of the World's Largest Chain of Ghost Houses / Owner of Blue Star's Largest Livestock Slaughter Business / Emerging Tycoon of the Entertainment Industry." "You see, I'm really not a devil, okay? Nowadays, who still uses such a lowly method as killing people to cultivate as a devil!"

Jade Brocade Sword · Eastern

The Golden Elixir is A Star, and You Call This Cultivation?

My name is Qi Yuan, and I am a time traveler who now holds the esteemed title of the eldest martial brother at Seven Colours Peak. I am armed with a game jade slip capable of connecting realms across the heavens, and blessed with the ability to unveil hidden information through my discerning eyes. [A seemingly ordinary blade of grass reveals secrets of a clandestine meeting between True Man Ku Mu and Empress Dashang that transpired just three days prior.] [Her name is Ruan Yixi, who appears to be your beautiful master on the surface, but she may have a deeper connection, perhaps she is even your wife.] [This is Heavenly Dao of the World, a Spiritual Object renowned for its significance in Foundation Establishment] [This is a lifeless planet, a potential vessel for the creation of a Golden Elixir]. So my road of cultivation turns gradually strange. "Heavenly Dao? A Spiritual Object for Foundation Establishment?" "So many desolate planets, all refined into Golden Elixir!" The Heavenly Dao is used as the foundation and refining stars into Golden Elixir. I am Qi Yuan, I become the origin of all things. My name is Jiang Lingsu, a fellow disciple at Seven Colours Peak. My Senior Brother is mentally ill. He is never focused on work. Nor does he like cultivation. He only loves simulation games. Senior Brother says, "Playing games is like cultivation. It can also create a world." One day, there is one more sun in the sky. I ask him what it is, he says, "That is my Golden Elixir!" This book is also titled 'Cultivation: The Jade Slip's Universe' and 'The Golden Elixir I Cultivated is a Planet,'

Walking Crane · Eastern

Mercenary King: Got Question? Ask My RPG!

There was a classic saying that prevailed in the era of thermal weapons. "All fear comes from insufficient firepower." Don't believe? Looking at the muzzle of a cannon bigger than your head, and say it again? ... Starting off by being kidnapped, in order to survive, Gao Guang was forced to become a member of a private military contractor. And thus, an unexpected legend began to unfold... Stallone from [First Blood]? Jason Statham from [The Expendables]? Keanu Reeves from [John Wick], the one who's best at using all kinds of firearms? Come on, all of these are nothing compared to Gao Guang!！ --- Finally, until one day, in the field of private military forces, he completely made the term "Gao Guang moment" became a professional term! Countless criminals, mercenaries, murderers, and private armed organizations would pee their pants at the mention of the name Gao Guang! "Hello, my name is Gao Guang." "I am dedicated to providing war-related peripheral services, including but not limited to force, arms, intelligence, and technical support." "As the conscience of the industry, our quality is trustworthy. Please don't hesitate, don't pinch your goddamn wallet, and make an appointment with my beautiful secretary as soon as possible. Warm reminder, we only accept cash." "Gao Guang, Your best choice!"

Just Like Water · Urban

Cthulhu Gonfalon

In the world, there were gods who obeyed the rules, whether good or evil. But there were also evil gods who defied the rules. When a traverser was confronted by the rules that he could never conform to, the resulting collision marks the beginning of the story of an evil god… This is the story of a good man who transformed into a great jellyfish, then traversed his world to arrive at a world of swords and magic. His journey of searching and exploring eventually led to him remaking nature and changing the world.

Chu bai · Fantasy

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2019-08-06

cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun Da da da Dholna vajje tumbe vaali taar Sun dil di pukaar Aaja kar layieh pyaar Sweetheart, the strings of the instrument play Listen to what the heart says Come and love me Come and love me Come and love me Come and love me Dholna Sweetheart cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun Da da da

Cthulhu Gonfalon

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God Manuel for Daily activities: -step 1: make cthulhu. -step 2: release cthulhu. -step 3: cthulhu rampages. -step 4: catch cthulhu. -step 5: spank cthulhu.

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Your book has gained the favor of Cthulhu be proud to have been given this honor, but one thing wrong with your book not enough sacrifices for Cthulhu please change this and spread Cthulhus name. Now to summon Cthulhu "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" somnia aeternae vocare possit aeternam tenebrarum obscurum. ut omnes moriuntur magnificentiam aeternae adorare.

Infinite Mana in the Apocalypse

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Cthulhu welcomes all with open arms to join the cult, we invite soulless to Bible meeting. summon Cthulhu "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" somnia aeternae vocare possit aeternam tenebrarum obscurum. ut omnes moriuntur magnificentiam aeternae adorare.

Devil's Rise

Dan_Ryder · Fantasy

185 Chs

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2025-04-03

The author has crafted masterpieces before, so there’s no doubt this will be another. With a horror theme this time, adding SCP-inspired elements like the Scarlet King or The Forgotten One could elevate it further. If it blends the creeping dread of The Shining, the cosmic horror of The Call of Cthulhu, and the mind-bending terror of House of Leaves, it could become a modern horror classic.

Horror Game Developer: My games aren't that scary!

Entrail_JI · Horror

687 Chs

It's too difficult for me to follow the big boss

Porter Wine was a native killer who had been trained by the organization. He was the best assistant that Gin had brought up. He mingled in the organization to complete missions and catch traitors. Occasionally, he would help Gin run errands. He was a "loyal" good member... It should have been like this. The story began half a year before he met a strange little ghost. Main CP: Ren Kuroki & Shiho Miyano (PS: I want to write about the daily life of an organization…Yes, I do.) [Off-topic: The comics and transmigration tags were given by Qidian, so I can't delete them. The custom tags of Conan and natives don't seem to be displayed either. I can't do anything about it.] Group ID: 713791485

Gray Wings in the Sky

· 1.8K Views

What is a rhythmic jungler?

The desire to win did not fall from the blue clouds! (S10 competition schedule, please don't take the timeline seriously.) In addition, even though he used real characters, there would be differences in every aspect. Otherwise, it would become a documentary and lose the fun of the novel itself.

Seventeen Years Old Mid

· 8.4K Views

The Vicious Female Supporting Actor Tearing Up the Cannon Fodder Script

[Sister chapters of the Quick Wear series, 1v1!!!] I, Li, have always only written 1v1 Double-Clean, Qiangqiang, Two-Way! I'm asking if it's a 1v1!] It was said that a furball under the Divine Master had run away after teasing the Heavenly Axiom. While escaping, he did not forget to take away the system that was regarded as a " taboo ". Other people did missions for resurrection, revenge, and benefits. [Li Huan's Mission: Kill Time] -- The Prince Regent, who had the most power in the country, pressed his forehead against hers and interlocked his fingers. His voice was very soft but very serious. "Huan 'er, I like you. I like you very much." The refined and scummy sickly brother hooked her little finger and smiled kindly. "You can either marry me or be locked up by me for the rest of your life. Choose one." The dark and stubborn Demon Lord touched her crippled leg, his eyes extremely gentle. "Don't run, you're all I have." …… Look. Although these people were occasionally seriously ill, they were much better than the one in the void. There were so many men in the world that Li Huan decided not to go back. -- Suddenly, one day, a certain system burst into tears. " Host, you should quickly escape. Sob, sob, sob." "What are you running for? I haven't had enough fun yet." A certain system had nothing to live for. " The system has just detected that the person who is clinging onto you in every plane is the same person. It's the one in the void." Li Huan was speechless. If he didn't run now, when would he? A certain man grabbed the back of her neck. "Where are you going? She's already asleep and the kiss is over. What else do you want?" Help! Why is this person haunting us?

Li Wu

· 8.7K Views

Hogwarts and the Ghost Flower

Wilia A. Hearst. Her parents died in her early years and she lived with her godfather. Everyone who had seen her praised her as a beautiful and elegant lady. But few people knew… Kidnapped by Death Eaters before school and experiencing the Cruciatus Carpal Curse? A first year against a Basilisk, against Avada Killers? Second-year dementors and Death Eaters? Third year Confusion and Imperius Curse? …… The Ghost Flower appeared innocently, but it had the power to take lives. Villia did not believe in taking revenge on the spot, but no one could offend her without paying the price. Peeves: Never in your presence! Death Eater: Don't come near me! (Ravenclaw, Dual Identity, Nothing Sweet, CP Eleanor)

Iteus

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From the stone age onwards, we ruled the world

In front of them were tall mammoths, and behind them were ferocious saber-toothed tigers. When a famous biologist traveled to the Stone Age, where wild beasts ran amok and humans could only huddle in caves, there was a hint of sadness in addition to excitement... Fortunately, he had a good memory. With his photographic memory, he began to climb the technological tree from the Stone Age and led mankind to dominate the world!

Half a cup of tea

· 7.6K Views