call of cthulhu funny stories

Two Realms Shuttle Gate: Don't Call Me a Demon!

Su Jie, capable of traveling between Blue Star and the Cultivation World, discovered that cultivation was just too difficult. Spirit Pills, Magic Artifacts, Pocket Worlds, and inherent comprehension—each was a mountain on the long road to immortality. Not until Su Jie found out that Demon Cultivators refined corpses by killing, extracted souls to cultivate fiends, and used fear as sustenance for their cultivation. Need souls to consecrate a Soul Summoning Banner? Get to know the pig farms that slaughter millions of pigs a year. Need human fear to cultivate fierce ghosts? Stock up on ghost houses, horror films, and horror games... Need fresh blood for Demon Techniques? Across the ocean, America is the world's largest grey market blood transfusion station... ...... Years later. "You devil, how many people have you killed? And you still have the face to call yourself a good person? Pah, today I shall act on behalf of heaven to mete out justice." The Tianyuan World's most beautiful person's eyebrows were furrowed with rage, as she stared at the terrifying Devil before her, enveloped in wronged souls, with thousands of ghosts parading on his Soul Banner, seated in a palace made of bones, she posed her soulful question. The Devil slowly stood up and pulled out a business card that read "Hua Country's Philanthropist of the Year / Founder of the World's Largest Chain of Ghost Houses / Owner of Blue Star's Largest Livestock Slaughter Business / Emerging Tycoon of the Entertainment Industry." "You see, I'm really not a devil, okay? Nowadays, who still uses such a lowly method as killing people to cultivate as a devil!"

Jade Brocade Sword · Eastern

The Golden Elixir is A Star, and You Call This Cultivation?

My name is Qi Yuan, and I am a time traveler who now holds the esteemed title of the eldest martial brother at Seven Colours Peak. I am armed with a game jade slip capable of connecting realms across the heavens, and blessed with the ability to unveil hidden information through my discerning eyes. [A seemingly ordinary blade of grass reveals secrets of a clandestine meeting between True Man Ku Mu and Empress Dashang that transpired just three days prior.] [Her name is Ruan Yixi, who appears to be your beautiful master on the surface, but she may have a deeper connection, perhaps she is even your wife.] [This is Heavenly Dao of the World, a Spiritual Object renowned for its significance in Foundation Establishment] [This is a lifeless planet, a potential vessel for the creation of a Golden Elixir]. So my road of cultivation turns gradually strange. "Heavenly Dao? A Spiritual Object for Foundation Establishment?" "So many desolate planets, all refined into Golden Elixir!" The Heavenly Dao is used as the foundation and refining stars into Golden Elixir. I am Qi Yuan, I become the origin of all things. My name is Jiang Lingsu, a fellow disciple at Seven Colours Peak. My Senior Brother is mentally ill. He is never focused on work. Nor does he like cultivation. He only loves simulation games. Senior Brother says, "Playing games is like cultivation. It can also create a world." One day, there is one more sun in the sky. I ask him what it is, he says, "That is my Golden Elixir!" This book is also titled 'Cultivation: The Jade Slip's Universe' and 'The Golden Elixir I Cultivated is a Planet,'

Walking Crane · Eastern

Cthulhu Gonfalon

In the world, there were gods who obeyed the rules, whether good or evil. But there were also evil gods who defied the rules. When a traverser was confronted by the rules that he could never conform to, the resulting collision marks the beginning of the story of an evil god… This is the story of a good man who transformed into a great jellyfish, then traversed his world to arrive at a world of swords and magic. His journey of searching and exploring eventually led to him remaking nature and changing the world.

Chu bai · Fantasy

They all call me Great Master

The protracted 'witch hunting' had faded into silence with the end of the Seven Years' War, and the mysteries of the East Coast had begun to conceal themselves, yet gunpowder was on a rapid rise. Mo Qishang, who should have been utterly confounded, stood at the crossroads of destiny in the name of Arthur. He stared in astonishment at the charging knights, the wizards atop the high towers, and the bizarre wilderness. He felt the sharpness of the longsword and the recoil of the firearm, both clear and unfamiliar. At last, he excitedly shook his robe and, with a smile on his face, said— "Do not believe what I say, for to believe is to exist!"

Rusty Dragon · Games

Life in North America, you call this an autopsy officer?!

Under a crimson moon, Brian discovered that just like some rare extreme psychopaths, he also acquired a miraculous ability: to fulfill the lingering attachment of the remains and receive gifts from the corpses. While he felt joy, there was also a bit of confusion. Being of good conduct and benevolent to others, why did he also receive the crimson moon's gift? This was the greatest insult to his noble character!!!

A treacherous dog · Urban

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cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun Da da da Dholna vajje tumbe vaali taar Sun dil di pukaar Aaja kar layieh pyaar Sweetheart, the strings of the instrument play Listen to what the heart says Come and love me Come and love me Come and love me Come and love me Dholna Sweetheart cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun cthulhu cthulhu tun Da da da

Cthulhu Gonfalon

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certainDaoist

2019-05-09

God Manuel for Daily activities: -step 1: make cthulhu. -step 2: release cthulhu. -step 3: cthulhu rampages. -step 4: catch cthulhu. -step 5: spank cthulhu.

Cthulhu Gonfalon (editing)

Brother112549 · Fantasy

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Apostle_of_cthulhu

2020-07-08

Your book has gained the favor of Cthulhu be proud to have been given this honor, but one thing wrong with your book not enough sacrifices for Cthulhu please change this and spread Cthulhus name. Now to summon Cthulhu "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" somnia aeternae vocare possit aeternam tenebrarum obscurum. ut omnes moriuntur magnificentiam aeternae adorare.

Infinite Mana in the Apocalypse

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Apostle_of_cthulhu

2020-07-12

Cthulhu welcomes all with open arms to join the cult, we invite soulless to Bible meeting. summon Cthulhu "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" somnia aeternae vocare possit aeternam tenebrarum obscurum. ut omnes moriuntur magnificentiam aeternae adorare.

Devil's Rise

Dan_Ryder · Fantasy

185 Chs

DEVIL_SLAYER

2025-04-03

The author has crafted masterpieces before, so there’s no doubt this will be another. With a horror theme this time, adding SCP-inspired elements like the Scarlet King or The Forgotten One could elevate it further. If it blends the creeping dread of The Shining, the cosmic horror of The Call of Cthulhu, and the mind-bending terror of House of Leaves, it could become a modern horror classic.

Horror Game Developer: My games aren't that scary!

Entrail_JI · Horror

687 Chs

Strange Revival: Evolving from Skeleton

When [Skeleton + God + Hegemony] woke up, Lin Ze had transmigrated to a world where demons were rampant. He had even been reborn into a little skeleton that could not move. By chance, he activated the Undead Demon God System. Thus, a strange skeleton was born. He absorbed the fear of all living beings and continuously evolved to become stronger. He cut through all obstacles and embarked on his invincible path! Thus, after the powerful monsters revived, they died at his hands. Forbidden zones were destroyed by him one after another. Therefore, he had no choice. He was known as the Dread Lord, the Tyrant of Death… He was the most terrifying Demon God in the Strange Revival World! P.S. 1: The protagonist is decisive, the overall style of writing is dark, and those who like the Virgin Mary character have mistakenly entered. The new book has set sail, and I beg for protection! P.S.2: The introduction is too weak, please see the main text.

The salt is light and the wind is light

· 2.1K Views

Looking at you through the sniper scope

The famous PUBG streamer, Sir Gu, met the captain of the YYDPS team, Dream, during a live broadcast. At first, he thought that it was a passerby, but it turned out to be a big shot. They had also met in real life, but Dream had never known that she was Sir Gu. Until one day, Gu Zhiyuan lost his identity.

Gu Huai Ci

· 3.8K Views

Rebirth, Return to 2006

When he woke up, Han Feng did not expect to be reborn for no reason. He was back to the time when he was about to graduate from high school. When he stood at the turning point of his life again, he smiled. In this life, it was the mature him and the straightforward her. Would the ending be different?

Flying Little Roc

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Master Qi, you can't hide your identity anymore.

[The group dotes on the female lead. Men and women flirt with each other. All kinds of pets.] Lu Jinqi, the big shot of the 25th century, accidentally blew herself up. In the end, she was reborn in the body of a poor little girl with the same name as her in the 21st century. "You have to remember that you're only adopted by us. Don't think about anything else." Lu Jinqi,"Hehe, I'm delusional, my ass." Everyone in the industry was prepared to watch the Song family's annual drama, but the poor little thing became a " fiend " with explosive combat power and slapped everyone in the face. Everyone: " Hiss, my face hurts." He was a cold and noble person in power, the mysterious leader of the special operations team. He controlled the Asian economy but was willing to bow down to her It was Lu Jinqi's first time meeting Si Jingyun, and she accidentally bumped into him. Si Jingyun,"Little friend, how can you take advantage of your brother?" The second time they met, she unexpectedly pushed him down. Si Jingyun said,"Little friend, throw yourself into my arms!" The third time they met, she accidentally touched his hand. Si Jingyun asked,"Little friend, how do you feel?" Lu Jinqi,"I have something I don't know if I should say." [There are many male and female alternate accounts. Take off each other's alternate accounts and enter the pit without worry. Note: The whole process is illogical. It's all based on the author's imagination.]

Xiao Qiqiya

· 2.3K Views

Buddhist big shot, she blooms everywhere

A year ago, Ling Xi became a vegetable. For the medical expenses, the Ling family tried everything they could. His parents sold the land to pick up the trash, his sister dropped out of school to work outside, and the entire family was heavily in debt. Ling Xi suddenly woke up. With a power that did not belong to this world. * Ling Xi had lived in the cultivation world for decades. Although she could not cultivate without spiritual roots, her healing and purifying abilities were invincible. After returning to the modern world, he was faced with the biggest dilemma-no money. Thus, he rolled up his sleeves and started doing his old job. Old Ling's family's life had also been turned upside down since then. * Second Master Yan had a head disease, and no one dared to provoke him when he was ill. Ling Xi only patted his shoulder before he fainted and fell to the ground. The bodyguard immediately detained him. "I'm sorry, I…" Ling Xi apologized after she woke up. "Get out!" The man had a terrible headache. Ling Xi: Alright, who asked her to knock him out? * Later. "Xixi, I miss you." "We've only been apart for three hours," Ling Xi looked at her watch helplessly. "It's 3 hours, 46 minutes, and 38 seconds." The bodyguards looked at each other,"So Second Master is a clingy person!" #Soft and gentle female protagonist vs beautiful and strong male protagonist # * Reading tips: 1. The whole article was empty, and the golden finger was activated. 2. Xiao Bai likes to write articles every day. If you don't like it, please don't make personal attacks. 3. The female lead was a Buddhist. She just did things according to fate, but when it came to principles, she would fight for it.

An Yi

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