bardock saves planet vegeta fanfic

Grammar is good. One of the few fanfics that don't have the MC become OP right off the bat, and thereby removing all suspense from the novel. Unfortunately, much of the story is made of exposition. Ex: Vegeta wished for Bardock to come back to life, and he appeared on the planet That's the typical thing you can find in the story, versus: Ex: Vegeta voiced his wish, and as the dragon Porunga roared, motes of light slowly gathered together forming first a cell, and then bone, before being wrapped in blood and flesh. Bardock had been reborn. So the first example just tells us what happens, i.e. exposition. The 2nd example shows us in a vivid, descriptive manner a scene which forms in front of our eyes. This is the stuff that's found in great books.

The story itself is really good. The problem is that the author can't keep their facts straight. You'll have a character introduced and then 3 chapters later that same character is suddenly called something entirely different. Even in the same paragraph I once saw the author call her Ayaka, then call her Ayame, then right back to Ayaka again... all the while calling her a 'he'. Later they go to planet Vegeta, even though the planet had been destroyed 30 years earlier. The author seemed to have the word "Vegeta" drilled into their head because he also started calling Bardock Vegeta as well. This story also suffers from the same thing most stories on this site do. For some reason authors here can't get the whole gender thing figured out, calling women "he/him". All in all, reading this story is like reading the memoirs of an Alzheimer's patient.

} The story has a strong start and a very interesting premise. The early Planet Vegeta arc and the interaction with Bardock were especially enjoyable. The writing is decent, and it’s easy to get hooked in the first few chapters. However, the MC becomes extremely overpowered very quickly, which removes a lot of tension later on. Still, if you’re into system-type fanfics and don’t mind a dominant protagonist, this is a fun read. Just don’t expect heavy drama or struggle. Overall, a good casual read with strong early chapters

The story develops too quickly. so much goes unsaid. Just in the first chapter he reincarnates, escapes planet vegeta, saves bulma, then meets and trains with master roshi, who knew who the MC was before introducing himself. chapter 2 will probably be the cell saga. leaving so much unsaid for the readers to fill in the massive gaps of info we are missing isn't something im interested in doing. ill pass.

Garbage, no resolve, no saiyan pride, easy going, could've trained hard and killed Frieza but didn't train and let planet Vegeta get blown up.