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blueceroLv42mth
2024-12-11 16:18

This is a beautiful start to a fascinating take on Harry Potter. It's well written and the characters are developed incredibly well; while also placing them seamlessly into the world of Harry Potter. The small additions and minor tweaks to the world give the story a much more magical feel than you'd find in other stories. Overall, compared with other fan fictions here, this one is amazing. If anything subtracts from the story, it would be that the author was too good. Usually this isn't much of an issue in stories like this because the author doesn't manage to draw their reader enough into their story. From a literary standpoint, the beginning of the story was harsh. The tone and mood was drastic to say the least. You started with an overall comedic and easy flowing overtone, building a relationship between two childhood friends; and then suddenly twisted it to an overall disgust. The writing and ploy was excellent, however it only resulted in creating negative emotions for a reader. Was it a good plot device that separated the two friends, while also displaying his seer abilities and magical prowess? Yep. Did it also turn off and leave a negative feeling for the reader at the very beginning of the story? Yep again. Again, usually this isn't something that matters in works like this because the author isn't a good author. But in this case, Id really recommend thinking about tone and mood, especially at the very beginning of a story. Still, a diamond of a story. Hope to see it advance into a full one.

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JoanjudoAuthor

Damn dude thanks a lot for the review, like really, brought a smile to my face. Also the mood stuff yeah I knew it was gonna turn people away, still I thought I’ve done the best I could with what I thought could make an interesting plot line. Agains thanks a ton for an actual review and not just a line of hate or appreciation since that doesn’t really help me improve. Thanks again.

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