This Story to is not really a Story, there is pretty much no plot. If it were an Anime, it would be a Filler with a ton of additional Filler. It starts before Harry Potter Canon and is pretty much about OCs going to Hogwarts, it already took 10 Chapters just to get to Diagon Alley. The MC seems also to be mentally impaired while being a Ravenclaw. He set Olivanders Store on fire by saying 'I cast Fireball' when he found his wand... just why? Besides the Author having something to stretch out the Word count. The whole Story feels like just stretching the Word Count. First unnecessary Drama with the Muggle Friend who gets abused at home, and shouldn't matter for the Story since she can appear only during the Holidays. Of course we also have Political correctness, a deaf girl who the MC meets on the train. Just how is she gonna attend classes? Of course! How lucky, the MC knows sign language and the word count can be stretched with more filler Plot on how he helps her to learn in Hogwarts. And since it's before Canon we have a lot of totally original OCs, instead of 'Hannah Abbot' the first kid to be sorted is 'Anna Abbot'. We also have Pure Bloods from sacred 28 who for a moment sounded like 'Draco Malfoy' but don't worry it's just 'Draken Macmillian' a new friend who gets sorted in Slytherin for the novel idea of inter house friendship. This should give you a good idea about the story. The grammar is not bad.
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Also Drake is called called Drake since the Macmillan and Malfoy families are interconnected lol also I wouldnt call having a deaf person political correctness I just wanted her to be deaf and I already showed how the dad teaches and learn different stuff as for the Louise thing it’s kind of a catalyst for stuff to come but oh well not like I can convince you also how is it filler to go to Diagonal Alley and have classes like it’s Hogwarts what were you expecting XD
Cool, which is my Review supposed to be?
Veldaza:image
