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JhakqueZyx6
JhakqueZyx6Lv47mth
2024-09-12 04:35

Great story so far and the world building around the secrets of the celestial dragons and dark fruit is amazing. if it keeps up this pace it might just get better and better. can't wait for how everything will play out. If i have to say something bad about it is that gion is somehow the same age as akainu/ kizaru. they 3 including kuzan were known as monsters within the marine and somehow she thought that she is better than them which seems weird and off but AU things doing AU things

One Piece: Starting in God Valley as a Slave

tambeerg
4.5
290 Chs

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Other Reviews
micheal_armonda
micheal_armondaLv3

Despite the idea being great, The writing needs a lot of improvement grammar wise, especially the descriptive language that's being used. Big shots like Big mom, garling, Rocks or whoever shouldn't be stunned and shocked at every little action that happens, no matter how small it is. For dialogue I would recommend going back to one piece and analyzing how characters actually talk because as of right now they behave like OC's. This is by far the hardest part of writing one piece fanfics. On the otherside I do commend you for sticking to a consistent upload schedule and appreciate the use of correct punctuation for the most part. And I do have one small suggestion that might sound silly: I don't think the mc name 'carl' fits one piece at all. So maybe something like 'Carlos' might? Or maybe give him a nickname to not ruin immersion. Please don't be discouraged by my review and keep writing

7mth

tambeerg
tambeergAuthor

Really good story, at least the best of my fanfics. I like that it's not a canon time, the MC's unusual ethnicity, pretty quick development, he's become powerful, but it's grounded so it's not like it just fell out of the sky

8mth
Melshan
MelshanLv7

HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM

7mth
Butcher_
Butcher_Lv3

Good shit.........................................................................................................................................................................

8mth
Trafford
TraffordLv6

This is probably the best One Piece fanfiction (non-crossover one) that I have ever read and that are out there. Everything from the world development to the powers of MC is well done. I especially like the fact that MC is a Celestial Dragon, and the story delves into the topic of the Celestial Dragons as well. The translation itself is superb.

4mth
Sky_novel_lover
Sky_novel_loverLv3

Need more chapters!

5mth
Tinieblas
TinieblasLv3

Well, I stopped at chapter 50. The novel is really good, but I think I'll drop it. I don't like that the MC supports the Celestial Dragons and even considers killing Luffy. I thought the MC would oppose the Celestial Dragons for what they did to his friends or because of their general attitude. I even thought he would help Luffy later on or create the Revolutionary Army himself, but I was wrong.

3mth
orangegummy
orangegummyLv14

I like mc devil fruit but this story feel like there little element of young master it will be great if u change something that are too chinese. 😁😁😁 this ff are great overall

7mth
Lordzbot
LordzbotLv1

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8mth
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