I’d say that this is about 30% fanfic and 70% crack fiction… there is so much breaking the fourth wall in this it’s not even funny. Don’t get me wrong I love a good gamer fiction and I like the detail that went into describing the stats and skills, but this story doesn’t really seem to take itself seriously enough to be readable in the long term.
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thanks for the review my guy. this actually helps me understand what you might find fault in this Fanfictions. thanks a lot, i'll try to improve myself.
My advice is to simply write and remove Player Mind and Player Body, simply leave the protagonist with a system, even customize it to adapt to the Pirate world. My problem with Game Body is that I find it simply boring, but Player's Mind simply takes away one of the most interesting things about a story: reading about the character's emotions. It's much more compelling to read about a protagonist who learns to deal with anxiety and stress in pressure situations and slowly learns to stay calm, than to simply have everything be okay because of ability.
