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Tazrune
TazruneLv311mth
2024-05-28 13:52

This is very good, excited for more. the only thing I think could be different is the whole first person and just use normal third-person pronouns.

Liked by 12 people

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Replies5
Avi2112
Avi2112Author

Yeah can't help it. i have written it as a SI from the start 😅

Avi2112
Avi2112Author

thank you! 😊

Ballad
BalladLv5

Imagine reading this here instead of Fiction Live. Where we get all the awesome Images that are 10/10

ByTha1
ByTha1Lv5

yeah it getting confusing for me

Somnus_Senior
Somnus_SeniorLv4

I haven't read it yet, but this is my general opinion about books and pov: I don't care, but keep thoughts and narration with a clear difference. For example: This is narrative 'This is first pov thoughts' "This is dialogue between characters" Character name: This is another way to difference characters. I will start reading the book. :)

Other Reviews
Rimuru_2412
Rimuru_2412Lv13
CouchPotatoDandy
CouchPotatoDandyLv5

Honestly this fanfic really had good potential, but from chapter 50~ things went down for me pretty fast. The grammar and plot are good, and the $ex scenes were excellent. But from the the moment the MC got his powers and actively used them in fights I found myself bored and frustrated. Once I got to chapter 136 I've stopped reading and decided to drop the fanfic and leave a review of my opinion why the fanfic failed draw me in as the story progressed. Here are a few points of what I believe to be the problem: 1) MC was nerfed so hard it's not even funny. The MC received many awesome and powerful abilities by sleeping around, such as Chi Manipulation and Transcendent Human Physiology among other physical enhancement abilities, yet he still struggles to defeat even normal humans. His abilities are always nerfed and fights that the MC should win in a single punch gets draged to last 1-2 chapters. His precognition ability never works and he wasn't able to avoid any trouble or ambush coming his way, unlike Madam Web from whom he got the power to begin with. And so on in many situations. 2) The MC and his friends/subordinates act like typical DC heroes (even though this is a Marvel fanfic) and hardly if ever kill the bad guys, only knocking them out. This leads to the bad guys later coming back for revenge stronger and better, repeating the arcs in a boring fashion. 3) The author can't write a good fighting scene. I'm not saying this to discourage the author, I'm just stating a fact. In all the various fighting scenes in this fanfic I found myself frustrated and bored, both from the flow of the fight and from the chapters length. It was like even without the MC things go down as it did in the original movies and comics, and sometimes even worse, as the MC is completely useless and nerfed, so what's the point of reading it? I didn't want to read about Tony fighting against Obadiah, I just want to read about the MC. Again, I'm not saying this to discourage the author, he sure knows how to write excellent $ex scenes and did a good plot, but unfortunately not exciting fighting scenes. 4) The MC's childish personality and actions. He was reincarnated from birth, which makes his mental age 40+ yet he still acts without thinking and do meaningless things. For instance, the MC went and followed daredevil one night for no reason whatsoever and somehow insisted on joining him in taking out a russian mafia without any planning or investigating the place first. This led to them falling to an ambush and a frustrating fight that almost got the MC killed numerous times. To sum it up, I think that if the MC was OP, that would solve most of the problems I mentioned and would also explain why all the hot women keep flock to the MC like they do. I would still give this fanfic a 4.5 star review cuz I can understand and appreciate the author's hard work.

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