webnovel
Idobra314
Idobra314Lv124d
2024-11-29 19:33

The 3 main things I find make this a masterpiece are: 1) The level of details is amazing it’s like you are learning with the MC and yet it’s not over the top every thing we find out gives more depth to this crazy world. 2)MC isn’t overpowered he is strong but he is deserving of his strength and every time he gets “lucky” it comes with hurdles that justify the “luck” and to be honest when I say strong it may be misleading as in this world everyone is strong even the birds and the bees(not a spoiler but one of the best lines in the novel in my opinion so read until this sentence makes sense to you and I promise you’ll be hooked). 3)the characters from MCs family to his friends we know basically nothing about them yet the level of details of that nothing is amazing especially MCs dad the man is deserving of his own novel and he is definitely not alone in that regard(although he is especially deserving of one) So yeah a Masterpiece go read it trust me it’s worth it

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NitrogenousBeing
NitrogenousBeingLv14

The author’s writing skills have progressed since his previous work, The Innkeeper, particularly in that expectations set are upheld. The storyline and setting are great. The characters are decent and likable. However, the writing quality itself needs improvement. On the minor side, there are plentiful small grammatical errors, run-on sentences, and a notable amount of info dumping.  The work’s major flaw is the unnecessary, indirect, awkward, and abstract phrasing. This is particularly glaring in action scenes. Too often the MC’s direct senses are avoided or obfuscated. Instead, there is an uncalled-for post-analysis topdown view of events. It takes the reader out of the action.  Direct advice to the author: Please use direct phrasing. Write “It was this,” rather than, “He felt it was this,” or “He knew it was this,” or “It seemed like it was this.” Describe the MC experiences without processing them through a third party’s perspective. Avoid abstractions in fight scenes. Don’t write “Their fight, almost too fast for Nero to follow, seemed like a masterwork of a performance,” (quick example from chapter 9). Instead, write what is being sensed. For example, “A series of clangs rang out, as Invictus’s spear parried the colorful blur of magical sword attacks with masterful precision.” The second quote conveys similar information in a more detailed, direct, and exciting fashion. It gives us direct sound and sight without referring to Nero as the filter. This work could shine and garner greater popularity with an external editor or better self-editing that pays particular attention to the above flaws.

Despair512
Despair512Lv12
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