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DaoistoV3EJd
DaoistoV3EJdLv39mth
2024-03-19 10:43

I would recommend that you rewrite the book. Noah shouldn't reincarnate but his legacy should be passed to the body to heal the soul and body of the mc instead of taking over. the est of the story is very interesting but you lost out on a lot of emotional content there. or if not legacy at least all the memories.

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Odayaka
OdayakaAuthor
GeneralDeFartos_L
GeneralDeFartos_LLv4

A clumsy attempt at writing a novel. Don't get me wrong, I liked the concept and I've been waiting for it to get more chapters before reading, but now that I've read about 50 chapters I'm just disappointed and dissatisfied. It has a unique interesting idea and throughout the story you can see what the author wanted to characters to be like. (Like how MC can do things impossible to do with qi cultivation or how a green haired mommy is a playful sugar mommy) The main problem with this story: 1- Exposition is not done properly. Author doesn't know what to give more information about and what to skip. Noah basically has no personality here while his previous body owner has a set personality, or how author kept using flashbacks at the start, or how we have no info on the Mage god Noah, or how we got too many useless info about irrelevant things. this is mainly cuz author doesn't know how to properly show us what he wants us to see. 2- Characters have messed up personalities. It feels like author just wants to add scenes he read in other works and wanted to have them attached to certain characters. (Noah is supposedly ruthless but acts kind to who he wants to. But here everytime he acts he's either flirty or teasing and when he has his moments it's not that cool, It just doesn't reflect an old man who's filled with wisdom.) (There's also mommy, she's supposedly mature, but she got over her sons death and gets blushing by Noah from day 1, there's no development, she's still getting over her loss, why would she feel a tingle in her heart just from some kindness? She's not naive, she's mature. So it doesn't make sense.) The relationship and feelings they feels towards each other just feel forced. 3- Author is dragging out what could be over and done long ago. He's adding new enemies just for the sake of it. A lot of elements here are pointless and don't add to the story. Dear author, think thoroughly before adding pointless drama and pointless info, would any of this be relevant after 30~60 chapters? I think not. It's just for added drama, but that just makes it as boring and cliche as other cultivation works.

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