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Postmand
PostmandLv151yr
2023-10-06 09:16

Good writing quality Don’t know yet so got a 3⭐️ Uses rituals for every potion from sequence 9 and up so if we go be the canon logic he will go insane before sequence 5, 8th sequences in his pathway is fools end or smth like that and requires him to kill Klein without Adam seeing him… yeah doesn’t make sense + everyone else that are keeping eyes on Klein. His character is made to be this evil manipulator even before he transmigrated but he is more of a power hungry baby that fires interns to show he is more powerful than them? Everything other than his power hunger is your everyday “I’m different and dark” MC only this time he was born seven months early so his brain is under developed World background is LOM so nothing original and nothing rly unexpected for those who read the novel

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Postmand
PostmandLv15

Plus his sequence names doesn’t rly make sense I mean how are you supposed to act fools end and how is fools end related to the end of your pathway? With the fool you have entertainment theme like that clown, wizard or magician(can’t remember), puppeteer(can’t remember either) and the mystery theme in faceless, scholar of yore, attendant of mysteries and you have a mix of both in seer, bizarro sorcerer, miracle invoker In this the names of the pathway and the pathway doesn’t really match he said something about gravity or smth like that and the names doesn’t really have anything to do with maybe people that research stuff like that or something magnetic etc.

Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

So the three stars were basically given to me for two reasons: 1) Mc is not as evil as you had expected him to be, considering I only gave the briefest of overviews of his previous life, and in this life the Memories of Max the owner of the body are sill resent, slightly twisting his thoughts. But I can agree, mc is not yet as evil as I wanted him to be, so ok. 2) You do not understand a pathway that has not been explained and just been named, with nothing else. You cannot understand how he will complete his Sequence 8 ritual without dying, but I suppose that is the whole reason for the existence fo the plot right? Else we could just have a story that goes: Mc is reborn -> Mc gets strong -> Mc wins -> the End... I mean what do you wat from this point, that you have spoken about twice in your review? Want me to spoil the entire plot in the first 10 chapters? Sure, I don't mind... but it will feel very dull and boring. Well, thanks for the review anyways. HOpe you have a wonderful day, bye~

Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

Nvrmind it was two stars lol

Shadow_Magus:So the three stars were basically given to me for two reasons: 1) Mc is not as evil as you had expected him to be, considering I only gave the briefest of overviews of his previous life, and in this life the Memories of Max the owner of the body are sill resent, slightly twisting his thoughts. But I can agree, mc is not yet as evil as I wanted him to be, so ok. 2) You do not understand a pathway that has not been explained and just been named, with nothing else. You cannot understand how he will complete his Sequence 8 ritual without dying, but I suppose that is the whole reason for the existence fo the plot right? Else we could just have a story that goes: Mc is reborn -> Mc gets strong -> Mc wins -> the End... I mean what do you wat from this point, that you have spoken about twice in your review? Want me to spoil the entire plot in the first 10 chapters? Sure, I don't mind... but it will feel very dull and boring. Well, thanks for the review anyways. HOpe you have a wonderful day, bye~
Postmand
PostmandLv15

No the problem would be the LOM has a weird power system that even tho it isn’t the most powerful the gods and angels are some of the smartest, can predict/see the past, knows almost everything they want to know fx. Adam as a sequence 1 knew more than most gods, could hear everyone saying his name, could feel people thinking about him. So even gods can’t hide everything from angels but you expect a sequence 9 to do that? No matter if someone is hiding him it’s not gonna work in the LOM verse And that way you said a not so innocent character in the synopsis got me thinking about a psychopath or something similar but he doesn’t do a lot of smart or evil things in the history of his previous life he is more of a power hungry idiot who goes after new employees… why? And the people he gets to do his dirty work he also fires? It’s not a smart character he is an imbecile Plus my point about his sequence still stands? How are you gonna act fools end? What is the theme of the pathway names? How can he not go insane when they get gradually harder to endure when his first ritual is sequence 9 and rituals are in place to make the corruption easier to endure? All my points still stand even with your arguments and no I don’t just want an OP MC but I want a ff that makes sense compared to the power system in LOM

Shadow_Magus:So the three stars were basically given to me for two reasons: 1) Mc is not as evil as you had expected him to be, considering I only gave the briefest of overviews of his previous life, and in this life the Memories of Max the owner of the body are sill resent, slightly twisting his thoughts. But I can agree, mc is not yet as evil as I wanted him to be, so ok. 2) You do not understand a pathway that has not been explained and just been named, with nothing else. You cannot understand how he will complete his Sequence 8 ritual without dying, but I suppose that is the whole reason for the existence fo the plot right? Else we could just have a story that goes: Mc is reborn -> Mc gets strong -> Mc wins -> the End... I mean what do you wat from this point, that you have spoken about twice in your review? Want me to spoil the entire plot in the first 10 chapters? Sure, I don't mind... but it will feel very dull and boring. Well, thanks for the review anyways. HOpe you have a wonderful day, bye~
Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

Yeah I will try. But what is the point of spoiling the plot for readers?

Postmand:No the problem would be the LOM has a weird power system that even tho it isn’t the most powerful the gods and angels are some of the smartest, can predict/see the past, knows almost everything they want to know fx. Adam as a sequence 1 knew more than most gods, could hear everyone saying his name, could feel people thinking about him. So even gods can’t hide everything from angels but you expect a sequence 9 to do that? No matter if someone is hiding him it’s not gonna work in the LOM verse And that way you said a not so innocent character in the synopsis got me thinking about a psychopath or something similar but he doesn’t do a lot of smart or evil things in the history of his previous life he is more of a power hungry idiot who goes after new employees… why? And the people he gets to do his dirty work he also fires? It’s not a smart character he is an imbecile Plus my point about his sequence still stands? How are you gonna act fools end? What is the theme of the pathway names? How can he not go insane when they get gradually harder to endure when his first ritual is sequence 9 and rituals are in place to make the corruption easier to endure? All my points still stand even with your arguments and no I don’t just want an OP MC but I want a ff that makes sense compared to the power system in LOM
wororrin
wororrinLv1

Thank you, sir. For your honest comment. You saved my time from reading that

Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

Hi, I am back here since my novel has reached nearly 100 chapters. I can positively say that I have proven most of your fears wrong. If you want spoilers, I can hand then to you. Fellow readers who come across this comment on the review, please be warned that spoilers lay ahead, and please avoid them if you really want to read the novel. . . . . . . . Spoilers! . . . . Anyways, where was I. Yes, your main point was that mc is not a psychopathic murderer who killed everything and only wants to see the world burn. Firstly, I'm not sure where you got that idea from. I only said no-so-innocent, take it as you will. Anyways, Samuel, as the reborn soul in this case, has been portrayed exactly as he is supposed to be. A power-hungry office worker who would use any underhanded means he could use to progress forward an his career. He used many underhanded methods, and it all began long ago when he was just starting out, and made use of some fresh interns, before discarding them nor-so-subtly. True, he did not do it properly nor thinking it through, but he was also not too far from the intern's age, and not some megamind type character from the moment he was born. If you do not understand this, people grow into who they are near the ends of their lives, by living through experiences and making decisions, and having to live with the consequences of those decisions. And our MC, Samuel died at the hands of one of those consequences. Then he is reincarnated into a child's body, who just had his parents killed in front of him, and had his whole life turned upside down as he was sold to slavers in the Lotm world. I hope you have got the characters sorted out now, if not, please reply and we can continue this conversation. I welcome constructive or even non-constructive critisism as long as they give reasons for not liking the novel, which you have so you are welcome to continue whenever. Anyways, onto your second point, of the pathway the mc is on. The major theme of the pathway is being a Singularity. In a sense, the singularity is considered the single point where the gravity is so intense that the laws of physics, and spacetime itself collapse catastrophically. This, in the Lotm universe, from what I had tried to come up with, was that his pathway would involve the aspect where the laws and sequences of other pathways would collapse and no longer be able to work if he reached Sequence 0. thus, each of his sequences follow this approach to be the foil to another existing pathway in different ways. Anyways, The overall aspect of Unity, which is the Great Old One formed when the Original Creator created the cosmos. In a sense, Unity is the unifying force that wants to not just bring together all Beyonder characteristics, but all matter creater by the Original Creater and return space to its non-existence state once again, leaving the Original Creator whole again. to prevent this, the Original Creater had used a good amount of his power to banish it to an infinately distance space where it would rapidly collapse from existing in a space where the space is already in its unified state and no longer needing a unifying force. Yet, instead of simply vanishing, Unity got turned into four pathways and a Sefirot, one of which ends up picking up Samuel's soul, while the three others pick up other souls, as they are gradually pulled back to the Lotm cosmos where the unifying force is required. After turning into the pathways and the sefirot, Unity was no longer at risk of collapsing into nothingness and gradually made it way to the lotm cosmos in the present; the fifith epoch. Anyways, that explains the pathway problem you might have had. I have run out of space in this reply, so I will reply again continuing from here:

Postmand:No the problem would be the LOM has a weird power system that even tho it isn’t the most powerful the gods and angels are some of the smartest, can predict/see the past, knows almost everything they want to know fx. Adam as a sequence 1 knew more than most gods, could hear everyone saying his name, could feel people thinking about him. So even gods can’t hide everything from angels but you expect a sequence 9 to do that? No matter if someone is hiding him it’s not gonna work in the LOM verse And that way you said a not so innocent character in the synopsis got me thinking about a psychopath or something similar but he doesn’t do a lot of smart or evil things in the history of his previous life he is more of a power hungry idiot who goes after new employees… why? And the people he gets to do his dirty work he also fires? It’s not a smart character he is an imbecile Plus my point about his sequence still stands? How are you gonna act fools end? What is the theme of the pathway names? How can he not go insane when they get gradually harder to endure when his first ritual is sequence 9 and rituals are in place to make the corruption easier to endure? All my points still stand even with your arguments and no I don’t just want an OP MC but I want a ff that makes sense compared to the power system in LOM
Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

This is adding onto my previous comment: As for advancing and how impossible you feel they are, please do consider Klein had to fight off a half corrupted Door Angel and a perfectly insane Error pathway Angel, while also having to face off against CW, and somehow he makes it thought, not by sheer luck, or plot armour, or anything else, but because he was able to do it despite it seeming impossible. Isn't that the whole fun of reading a novel? Anyways, I can assure you, first, the ritual said that he did not have to come into contact with Adam, it did not say without being seen or sensed by Adam. As long as no physical contact was made, it was possible. This is a major spoiler btw. Anyway, as for your last point, of his going mad before reaching Sequence 5. I have come up with a solution for this as well. The reason I put rituals for the advancement was to make each advancement had a plot of its own which the mc has to complete to move forward, and constantly make plans for the next advancement instead of just wandering around in the existing lotm plot... As for the going inane part, the solution was rather simple. Have a large enough base of worshipers who would be able to keep him anchored... I don't know, would a whole world of potential worshiper solve this issue? No? what about more worlds? With enough worshiper only praying to a symbol of him, and enough control over the priests who guide the worshipers, such that they never go corrupt or push his religion in the wrong direction, he would have full control over his own mind and would not go insane anytime soon.

Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

Well, if you were looking for a phsychopathic killer mc who kills everyone only to be very easily discovered and caught by the churches... then I suppose you are right, this novel is not for you... to each their own...

wororrin:Thank you, sir. For your honest comment. You saved my time from reading that
image
Postmand
PostmandLv15

I didn’t say I wanted a MC who wanted the world to burn, I said if you wanted a evil mc you should make one that does not just feel like a power hungry manager that works at McDonalds. He was bullying interns and stuff like that. He did not feel smart, cunning or anything of that nature, but more like a low IQ nobody.

Shadow_Magus:Hi, I am back here since my novel has reached nearly 100 chapters. I can positively say that I have proven most of your fears wrong. If you want spoilers, I can hand then to you. Fellow readers who come across this comment on the review, please be warned that spoilers lay ahead, and please avoid them if you really want to read the novel. . . . . . . . Spoilers! . . . . Anyways, where was I. Yes, your main point was that mc is not a psychopathic murderer who killed everything and only wants to see the world burn. Firstly, I'm not sure where you got that idea from. I only said no-so-innocent, take it as you will. Anyways, Samuel, as the reborn soul in this case, has been portrayed exactly as he is supposed to be. A power-hungry office worker who would use any underhanded means he could use to progress forward an his career. He used many underhanded methods, and it all began long ago when he was just starting out, and made use of some fresh interns, before discarding them nor-so-subtly. True, he did not do it properly nor thinking it through, but he was also not too far from the intern's age, and not some megamind type character from the moment he was born. If you do not understand this, people grow into who they are near the ends of their lives, by living through experiences and making decisions, and having to live with the consequences of those decisions. And our MC, Samuel died at the hands of one of those consequences. Then he is reincarnated into a child's body, who just had his parents killed in front of him, and had his whole life turned upside down as he was sold to slavers in the Lotm world. I hope you have got the characters sorted out now, if not, please reply and we can continue this conversation. I welcome constructive or even non-constructive critisism as long as they give reasons for not liking the novel, which you have so you are welcome to continue whenever. Anyways, onto your second point, of the pathway the mc is on. The major theme of the pathway is being a Singularity. In a sense, the singularity is considered the single point where the gravity is so intense that the laws of physics, and spacetime itself collapse catastrophically. This, in the Lotm universe, from what I had tried to come up with, was that his pathway would involve the aspect where the laws and sequences of other pathways would collapse and no longer be able to work if he reached Sequence 0. thus, each of his sequences follow this approach to be the foil to another existing pathway in different ways. Anyways, The overall aspect of Unity, which is the Great Old One formed when the Original Creator created the cosmos. In a sense, Unity is the unifying force that wants to not just bring together all Beyonder characteristics, but all matter creater by the Original Creater and return space to its non-existence state once again, leaving the Original Creator whole again. to prevent this, the Original Creater had used a good amount of his power to banish it to an infinately distance space where it would rapidly collapse from existing in a space where the space is already in its unified state and no longer needing a unifying force. Yet, instead of simply vanishing, Unity got turned into four pathways and a Sefirot, one of which ends up picking up Samuel's soul, while the three others pick up other souls, as they are gradually pulled back to the Lotm cosmos where the unifying force is required. After turning into the pathways and the sefirot, Unity was no longer at risk of collapsing into nothingness and gradually made it way to the lotm cosmos in the present; the fifith epoch. Anyways, that explains the pathway problem you might have had. I have run out of space in this reply, so I will reply again continuing from here:
Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

Yes, but that was exactly who he was. The brief backstory I gave for Samuel was only for his yearly days, quite literally one incident. The rest was all skipped over saying he gradually made his way to the top. Originally he was a nobody working as a very small time manager. Also no my mc is no psycho if that is what you wanted, just a dude who was willing to do anything to achieve his goals. Some would call him trash other would call him a sad excuse of a human, I would call him what humanity was truly like when it first evolved; selfish, self-centred and with no morals. I think that pretty much sums up the character

Postmand:I didn’t say I wanted a MC who wanted the world to burn, I said if you wanted a evil mc you should make one that does not just feel like a power hungry manager that works at McDonalds. He was bullying interns and stuff like that. He did not feel smart, cunning or anything of that nature, but more like a low IQ nobody.
Saihtam_11
Saihtam_11Lv14

overkill

Shadow_Magus:This is adding onto my previous comment: As for advancing and how impossible you feel they are, please do consider Klein had to fight off a half corrupted Door Angel and a perfectly insane Error pathway Angel, while also having to face off against CW, and somehow he makes it thought, not by sheer luck, or plot armour, or anything else, but because he was able to do it despite it seeming impossible. Isn't that the whole fun of reading a novel? Anyways, I can assure you, first, the ritual said that he did not have to come into contact with Adam, it did not say without being seen or sensed by Adam. As long as no physical contact was made, it was possible. This is a major spoiler btw. Anyway, as for your last point, of his going mad before reaching Sequence 5. I have come up with a solution for this as well. The reason I put rituals for the advancement was to make each advancement had a plot of its own which the mc has to complete to move forward, and constantly make plans for the next advancement instead of just wandering around in the existing lotm plot... As for the going inane part, the solution was rather simple. Have a large enough base of worshipers who would be able to keep him anchored... I don't know, would a whole world of potential worshiper solve this issue? No? what about more worlds? With enough worshiper only praying to a symbol of him, and enough control over the priests who guide the worshipers, such that they never go corrupt or push his religion in the wrong direction, he would have full control over his own mind and would not go insane anytime soon.
Shadow_Magus
Shadow_MagusAuthor

What do you mean? The dude put a 2.5 star rating. At least he gave his reasons unlike some others, and I’m grateful for that. But I felt like I wanted to defend my fanfic.

Saihtam_11:overkill
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