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Mamamesta
MamamestaLv31yr
2023-07-30 00:49

It would be better if it was a completely different pj than iseei[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

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Kiradeux
KiradeuxLv13

Story is an AU from basic DxD, Issei has an 6-year elder sister. No Irina, no friends. The early chapters, at least, constantly use the term "Primal Energy" for what is well established under the same description as "ki" within DxD lore and power systems. Author has a good grasp of the language and sentence structure and has potential in writing, however the early chapters of this story fall short on mechanics and integration into existing world mechanics. These are foundational elements that can't really be retconned later on. - MC uses "Eyes of God" to perform discount Senjutsu - MC's "discount senjutsu" literally requires he go stab trees and hold his hand over the wound to absorb tha powah. - MC does literally nothing with the power he absorbs, he doesn't try to do anything, he doesn't research, he doesn't try to control it, he doesn't try to find any other way to absorb it besides STAB TREE! - MC's life becomes a training montage at 8 years old, with extra tree-stabbing. - Seriously, he stabs trees for powerups. The story title feels misleading; yes, he has these "Eyes of God", Yes, they are omnipotent "observe"-cheat on super steroids. But the MC kinda fails at a fundamental level when using them. If your main power is connected to a form of perception, then it becomes critical to the story that the form of perception that is enhanced becomes a part of the story. A character with super eyes tends to use them to do perceptive things; our MC just goes with the first thing that works.

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