It was fun to read and very relaxing, but the lack of certain details makes it hard to imagine, like the village development. It comes out like introducing only the technology and nothing more, lacking more depth and making it hard to immerse. Secondly, the main character is almost like a side character in the development of the story. Third, the system completely vanishes after a few chapters, which left me quite confused about his strength. If you are not truly planning on using a system, you should just make the main character have a bloodline and training arc so that the banishment of the system will not make some people leave the fanfic immediately. Fourth, the characters are a bit bland in personality or outright out of character. Fifth, you tried so hard in preventing major tragedies that it makes some plot twists of yours become out of context. Sixth, the lies of the main character become too much readable that I'm confused about how people can be tricked by that. This was just a small reminder to me that the lies of the main character are too generic and unbelievable, causing a significant loss of interest. But overall, you made it fun to read, and I managed to laugh sometimes. This was quite successful in storytelling and very relaxing to read, even though it was quite hard to immerse myself in the story. It also gave me another perspective. Congratulation
Liked by 1 people
LIKEAuthor, your creative contribution is invaluable, and I genuinely hope you continue to excel, as individuals like yourself play a pivotal role in not just the success of fanfiction but also the thriving world of novels.
