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UnknownisthetruthLv51yr
2023-03-22 16:43

Author you really need a proofread for this good novel. She to he, herself to himself. Other than the part of proofreading the novel is very good Author please read the comment once a while and edit the problem that comments are saying. Please update it after solving the issues.

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AdalfarusLv14

A Compelling Novel with Missed Opportunities in Story Development The novel under review, set in a vividly imagined medieval world, presents a gripping storyline and well-developed characters that make for an overall enjoyable reading experience. However, it is not without its flaws. The story development takes an unfortunate turn at the end of the first volume, as pivotal decisions made by the author on behalf of the characters seem to lack coherence and emotional resonance. One such decision involves the treatment of Rachel, a crucial character in the narrative. The choice to abandon her and label her as a monster, as dictated by the author, is not only heart-wrenching but also conflicts with the promise made to her and her father. This betrayal not only shatters Rachel's trust but also seems to be an unnecessary plot device that detracts from the emotional impact of the story. An alternative path that the protagonist could have considered would have been to take Rachel with them when escaping from the clutches of the crown prince. This course of action might have prevented the devastating consequences that followed, such as Rachel losing one of her flower petals and a significant amount of life. Additionally, the choice to betray Rachel has far-reaching implications, as it strains the relationship between two influential families and potentially the imperial family as well. The King might choose to side with Leriana's father, a close friend. This alliance is likely to start a feud with Rachel's father over the broken promise, further intensifying the conflict surrounding their families, which could lead to much bloodshed, as they control half the military of the empire. While the novel's overall quality is commendable, the storyline at the end of the first volume, and subsequently all volumes thereafter, could have benefitted from more thoughtful development by the author. By exploring alternative paths for the characters and maintaining consistency in their actions, the narrative would have been more engaging and emotionally satisfying. Nonetheless, readers who appreciate intricate plotlines and rich character development will still find much to enjoy in this fascinating tale. The novel leaves us questioning the author's choices, but eager to see how the story unfolds in subsequent volumes. Total score 3.4, because all criteria except story development are good. Suggested Revision: A simple solution to address this issue could be to alter the protagonist's actions towards Rachel. Instead of explicitly calling her a monster, the protagonist could choose to leave without saying anything. As a result, the events surrounding the loss of Rachel's flower petal could unfold differently. For instance, Rachel might feel betrayed because the protagonist left without an explanation, or someone else could spread lies about the protagonist's reasons for leaving, leading to a more reasonable portrayal of the protagonist's actions. This adjustment could strengthen the emotional resonance of the story and maintain the protagonist's integrity.

Yuri_is_LifeLv12

Who should read and pay for this work? Only those who are in ABSOLUTE despair to read completed Yuri novel, despite its poor quality. 1) It is worth saying right away that the author has absolutely no respect for readers. She obviously does not know English, so she writes in her native language and then uses an online translator. This is not a problem in general, many people do it... But author did not even bother to correct the basic pronouns errors. This is not only disrespectful to readers, but also just stupid!!! Many who could potentially buy this just drop it halfway!!! 2) Our heroine, Leriane, is the most hated character in this story (I would even say on the whole webnovell). She's dumb, naive and useless (but everyone loves her). She's the kind of person who doesn't deserve a happy ending. There was a scene in the book when Leriane was being held hostage and the maids wanted to disfigure her face. My reaction: fair, maybe it will teach her something!!! 3) The story could have been more or less Ok if the author had adhered to the spirit of the first volume. Then it seemed that this was a typical Mary Sue story with dense MC and comedic undertone. But then the author decided that she wanted to write a serious story with all sorts of betrayals, hidden villains, visions of the future and so on... But you can't just WANT to write a masterpiece. That requires talent or a hard work... 4) Most of the story we have a one-sided romance. For most of the story, Leriane feels asexual-aromantic and only at the end she begin to be more proactive. If you are one of those who are satisfied with the fact that high-quality mutual yuri will only be at the end, then Ok. But I prefer that the main couple become an official at least in the middle of the story. If not, then there must be at least passion and tension between them. And I'm not talking about smut. But at least something. But alas. Dense asexual-aromantic, remember?

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