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Sorrowthorn
SorrowthornLv132yr
2023-02-03 15:27

Reading this novel feels like winning the lottery, or a fair game lol. Writing Quality: Author definitly knows how to write in English, and write well. Besides the occasional mishap reads well and easy and has a great flow. TIP FOR AUTHOR: When writing try to avoid moving/changing point of views (POV) within a chapter. Also make sure what you are saying fits POV of character. (i.e. don't state emotions of other characters, rather their physical reactions) both of these will add a bit more depth to your POV writing. Story Development: Author plays with time well. Skims when necessary, provides flashbacks/dreams to explore past, and draws out the intense action. Author also seems to have a plan already and has set some foundations for the plot. Not much advice to give here. My only worry is about how long this story can get and if the author has already planned far enough ahead. Character Design: This is a big thing for me, to often the MC is the only character that has depth and changes. This author breaks that stereotype and provides depth to many characters (will not spoil it). Each character has their own goal and vices/problems. AUTHOR TIP: some of the flashback info seemed to come out of nowhere. Make sure to foreshadow or show the eefects of what has happened. Updating Stabability: As long as the writing quality stays as good as it has been the updates can change...(though I would reeeeally like to read more now.) World Background: This seems to currently be the weak link, though recent chapters are suggesting otherwise. While the monsters are unique, the world is currently your average magic/fantasy/academy city world. However, as I said before, recent chapters have started to unveil more info about the world...might be more apt to say teasing. My concern is that it is more to do with the plot, and less with the world itself. AUTHOR TIP: for some good examples of built worlds that deviate from the norm check out Brandon Sanderson's books or Robert Jordan's. One suggestion (especially for worlds with different tech/magic from ours) how does that affect society at large (maybe all those with magic become nobles). I know there is a generic framework that many novels have gone off of but find what makes your magic system unique and what effect it's had on society. Thanks for the great read!

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Replies3
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

Thanks for the review, I will try to better my book with your great advices. As for the world, it is still in the making and I'm trying my best to make it feel unique and new as the plot progresses. I don't like just sitting around and explaining how this particular world works in long blocks of text.

Sorrowthorn
SorrowthornLv13

Thanks for the reply! If you have any questions let me know. I also have a great dislike for info dumping, and am glad that you are building a unique world. I had that feeling in the later chapters and am excited to see what happens!

LazyAngel:Thanks for the review, I will try to better my book with your great advices. As for the world, it is still in the making and I'm trying my best to make it feel unique and new as the plot progresses. I don't like just sitting around and explaining how this particular world works in long blocks of text.
estevao
estevaoLv4

Are there how many girls in harem ?

LazyAngel:Thanks for the review, I will try to better my book with your great advices. As for the world, it is still in the making and I'm trying my best to make it feel unique and new as the plot progresses. I don't like just sitting around and explaining how this particular world works in long blocks of text.
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