webnovel
diabolic_diablo
diabolic_diabloLv31yr
2023-01-30 16:48

ngl...author u f*ckwd up the mc's anti hero character...first 50 chs were all amazing but then u ruined it....why make the mc suddenly trust Emelia after knowing her for a few weeks that he gives out a big secret to her....u have also made the mc a pervy(a little) shonen hero instead of the anti hero ... seriously this book would have been wonderful with a harem of just 3 to 4....but with the voice hearing part there are gonna be a lot ..I hope u will remove the heart voice from the book soon as the story currently would do even better without it or at least make Elise also hear him ...I still like this book and hope to read more with a bit better fm leads... update soon

Liked by 4 people

LIKE
Replies5
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

Well, thanks for the review. First of all, Rin is not an anti hero character. I really don't know where you came up with that. Second of all, he basically told Emilia nothing at all. She has no idea that he has a system, its jus that he get stronger. Lastly, not every world will have New fmcs. In fact, only a few of them will have New potential love interests.

diabolic_diablo
diabolic_diabloLv3

so what is going to be the personality of the mc .. cause that's the only thing I am worried about??....also don't worry ur book is still great it's just that after reading a lot of simp MCs I am rather critical about the mc character..

LazyAngel:Well, thanks for the review. First of all, Rin is not an anti hero character. I really don't know where you came up with that. Second of all, he basically told Emilia nothing at all. She has no idea that he has a system, its jus that he get stronger. Lastly, not every world will have New fmcs. In fact, only a few of them will have New potential love interests.
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

He is a neutral character that can do good and bad deeds depending on how he will benefit from it or not. His sole focus are those he cares about and everything else is secondary. I can't say he is a good person or not but he is definetly not beta or a wimp.

diabolic_diablo:so what is going to be the personality of the mc .. cause that's the only thing I am worried about??....also don't worry ur book is still great it's just that after reading a lot of simp MCs I am rather critical about the mc character..
longest_s
longest_sLv3

Author please please please answer me, i dont care what kind of dark past elise had but theres just one thing i want to know, did she get raped or no?? Please author tell me!! my heart is breaking apart just thinking about it

LazyAngel:He is a neutral character that can do good and bad deeds depending on how he will benefit from it or not. His sole focus are those he cares about and everything else is secondary. I can't say he is a good person or not but he is definetly not beta or a wimp.
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

She isn't.

longest_s:Author please please please answer me, i dont care what kind of dark past elise had but theres just one thing i want to know, did she get raped or no?? Please author tell me!! my heart is breaking apart just thinking about it
Other Reviews
Syler_Blade
Syler_BladeLv15

Sorrowthorn
SorrowthornLv13

Reading this novel feels like winning the lottery, or a fair game lol. Writing Quality: Author definitly knows how to write in English, and write well. Besides the occasional mishap reads well and easy and has a great flow. TIP FOR AUTHOR: When writing try to avoid moving/changing point of views (POV) within a chapter. Also make sure what you are saying fits POV of character. (i.e. don't state emotions of other characters, rather their physical reactions) both of these will add a bit more depth to your POV writing. Story Development: Author plays with time well. Skims when necessary, provides flashbacks/dreams to explore past, and draws out the intense action. Author also seems to have a plan already and has set some foundations for the plot. Not much advice to give here. My only worry is about how long this story can get and if the author has already planned far enough ahead. Character Design: This is a big thing for me, to often the MC is the only character that has depth and changes. This author breaks that stereotype and provides depth to many characters (will not spoil it). Each character has their own goal and vices/problems. AUTHOR TIP: some of the flashback info seemed to come out of nowhere. Make sure to foreshadow or show the eefects of what has happened. Updating Stabability: As long as the writing quality stays as good as it has been the updates can change...(though I would reeeeally like to read more now.) World Background: This seems to currently be the weak link, though recent chapters are suggesting otherwise. While the monsters are unique, the world is currently your average magic/fantasy/academy city world. However, as I said before, recent chapters have started to unveil more info about the world...might be more apt to say teasing. My concern is that it is more to do with the plot, and less with the world itself. AUTHOR TIP: for some good examples of built worlds that deviate from the norm check out Brandon Sanderson's books or Robert Jordan's. One suggestion (especially for worlds with different tech/magic from ours) how does that affect society at large (maybe all those with magic become nobles). I know there is a generic framework that many novels have gone off of but find what makes your magic system unique and what effect it's had on society. Thanks for the great read!

Related Stories

Armipotent

This is a work of fiction, any names, characters, stories or events, are fictitious! (Even the country in the story is just the author's fantasy as the author never visited those countries in the story) Armipotent is an archaic adjective meaning "strong in battle." Basically, it refers to someone who is physically tough in war. Originally, it was used to refer to the Roman god of war, Mars. ===================== Tang Shaoyang, an orphan who dropped out of the middle school to fight on the street as he found out school was useless for a penniless orphan like him. Tang Shaoyang dropped out of his school, fighting on the street, and made a name for himself. Berserker Tang from Youyouliucun. Afterward, Dragon Wing triad recruited him and everything was good for him. Even though the public deemed him as a tumor of society, Tang Shaoyang was having a decent life. Until one day, everything changed as an absurd and strange game started. "... Game starts! Stage one: Survival for The Fittest!" After the game started, zombies appeared out of nowhere. ... Ding! "You have killed 1000 zombies less than 24 hours since the game started! You gained 3 Talents!" Dong! "You may choose 3 Talents! please choose carefully!" Tang Shaoyang held his chin and mused what Talent he had to choose. "With Zombies appear everywhere, I need an infinite strength... this is one, I still need to choose 2 Talents more..." Then a lewd smile formed on his lips. "I want an infinite strength, charm and charisma to conquer women, and the last one, I want to upgrade my **** so I can please my women!" After saying this, Tang Shaoyang laughed aloud. "Hahaha, there's no way such talent exists... ehhhhh?!!!" Ding! Dong! "3 Talents are consumed! You have been granted Divine Body! Good Luck, Gamer Tang Shaoyang!" Tang Shaoyang immediately checked the detail of Divine Body. After a brief silence, he muttered unbelievably. "Such Talents really exist..." Note: I don't own the cover. If the creator wants me to take down the cover or put credit, please notify me by replying to my review at the Review section.

HotIce · Fantasy
4.4
1762 Chs

Talent Awakening: Draconic Overlord Of The Apocalypse

"Level up? Dragons?" Eighteen. The age of Awakening. An important moment where every human in the desolate maga-cities unlocks their Talent, a unique ability to carve a path in this monster-plagued apocalyptic world. Alister Hazenworth, a graduating student, and a rising star at the prestigious Aegis Academy, was destined for greatness. His exceptional athleticism and magical aptitude promise a powerful Talent – a guarantee for a secure life and social status. But fate had different plans. During Alister's Awakening ceremony, it's revealed that he's a Summoner. Instead of admiration, he faces mockery. His once bright future turns bleak as his "friends" desert him for Talents they see as more "useful." left alone, Alister awakens a system. [Host found, system binding...] [System binded successfully.] [Congrats, you have gain the status of 'player'.] [Ding!! Congrats to the player for awakening The Dragonforge - an overlord system.] [Ding!! it has been detected that the player possesses a latent draconic aspect, and as such will only be able to summon dragons!!] [Will the player like to proceed with their first summoning?] Cast aside and underestimated, Alister becomes a force to be reckoned with. He embarks on a journey, building his own dragon army – a crew of majestic wyverns, fearsome drakes, and ancient wyrms. He raids the wastelands, reclaims lost resources, and dismantles the prejudice against summoners. Every day, his power grows, his bond with his dragons deepens, and his legend spreads like wildfire. [A/N: This is a slow paced novel, don't expect the protagonist to suddenly start out overpowered and start dominating left and right, he will become an overlord of dragons, yes, but it will take time. (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)] Cover made by me /⁠ᐠ⁠。⁠ꞈ⁠。⁠ᐟ⁠\ [WSA 2024]

Zurbluris · Fantasy
4.2
269 Chs