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diabolic_diablo
diabolic_diabloLv31yr
2023-01-30 16:48

ngl...author u f*ckwd up the mc's anti hero character...first 50 chs were all amazing but then u ruined it....why make the mc suddenly trust Emelia after knowing her for a few weeks that he gives out a big secret to her....u have also made the mc a pervy(a little) shonen hero instead of the anti hero ... seriously this book would have been wonderful with a harem of just 3 to 4....but with the voice hearing part there are gonna be a lot ..I hope u will remove the heart voice from the book soon as the story currently would do even better without it or at least make Elise also hear him ...I still like this book and hope to read more with a bit better fm leads... update soon

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Replies5
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

Well, thanks for the review. First of all, Rin is not an anti hero character. I really don't know where you came up with that. Second of all, he basically told Emilia nothing at all. She has no idea that he has a system, its jus that he get stronger. Lastly, not every world will have New fmcs. In fact, only a few of them will have New potential love interests.

diabolic_diablo
diabolic_diabloLv3

so what is going to be the personality of the mc .. cause that's the only thing I am worried about??....also don't worry ur book is still great it's just that after reading a lot of simp MCs I am rather critical about the mc character..

LazyAngel:Well, thanks for the review. First of all, Rin is not an anti hero character. I really don't know where you came up with that. Second of all, he basically told Emilia nothing at all. She has no idea that he has a system, its jus that he get stronger. Lastly, not every world will have New fmcs. In fact, only a few of them will have New potential love interests.
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

He is a neutral character that can do good and bad deeds depending on how he will benefit from it or not. His sole focus are those he cares about and everything else is secondary. I can't say he is a good person or not but he is definetly not beta or a wimp.

diabolic_diablo:so what is going to be the personality of the mc .. cause that's the only thing I am worried about??....also don't worry ur book is still great it's just that after reading a lot of simp MCs I am rather critical about the mc character..
longest_s
longest_sLv3

Author please please please answer me, i dont care what kind of dark past elise had but theres just one thing i want to know, did she get raped or no?? Please author tell me!! my heart is breaking apart just thinking about it

LazyAngel:He is a neutral character that can do good and bad deeds depending on how he will benefit from it or not. His sole focus are those he cares about and everything else is secondary. I can't say he is a good person or not but he is definetly not beta or a wimp.
LazyAngel
LazyAngelAuthor

She isn't.

longest_s:Author please please please answer me, i dont care what kind of dark past elise had but theres just one thing i want to know, did she get raped or no?? Please author tell me!! my heart is breaking apart just thinking about it
Other Reviews
Syler_Blade
Syler_BladeLv15

Sorrowthorn
SorrowthornLv13

Reading this novel feels like winning the lottery, or a fair game lol. Writing Quality: Author definitly knows how to write in English, and write well. Besides the occasional mishap reads well and easy and has a great flow. TIP FOR AUTHOR: When writing try to avoid moving/changing point of views (POV) within a chapter. Also make sure what you are saying fits POV of character. (i.e. don't state emotions of other characters, rather their physical reactions) both of these will add a bit more depth to your POV writing. Story Development: Author plays with time well. Skims when necessary, provides flashbacks/dreams to explore past, and draws out the intense action. Author also seems to have a plan already and has set some foundations for the plot. Not much advice to give here. My only worry is about how long this story can get and if the author has already planned far enough ahead. Character Design: This is a big thing for me, to often the MC is the only character that has depth and changes. This author breaks that stereotype and provides depth to many characters (will not spoil it). Each character has their own goal and vices/problems. AUTHOR TIP: some of the flashback info seemed to come out of nowhere. Make sure to foreshadow or show the eefects of what has happened. Updating Stabability: As long as the writing quality stays as good as it has been the updates can change...(though I would reeeeally like to read more now.) World Background: This seems to currently be the weak link, though recent chapters are suggesting otherwise. While the monsters are unique, the world is currently your average magic/fantasy/academy city world. However, as I said before, recent chapters have started to unveil more info about the world...might be more apt to say teasing. My concern is that it is more to do with the plot, and less with the world itself. AUTHOR TIP: for some good examples of built worlds that deviate from the norm check out Brandon Sanderson's books or Robert Jordan's. One suggestion (especially for worlds with different tech/magic from ours) how does that affect society at large (maybe all those with magic become nobles). I know there is a generic framework that many novels have gone off of but find what makes your magic system unique and what effect it's had on society. Thanks for the great read!

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