webnovel
Thesilverderp
ThesilverderpLv131yr
2023-02-05 10:14

First chapter starts off very strong in terms of intrigue and writing, but gradually gets worse as you read further. By chapter 3, it’s down to the level of most shi tty webnovel novels in terms of grammar, sentence structure, and dialogue, which is a real shame. I might check out the authors next novel, but I can’t continue this.

Versatile System Online

PRO_GAMER_2345
4.5
409 Chs

Liked by 2 people

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Replies3
PRO_GAMER_2345
PRO_GAMER_2345Author

Well, I get what you mean. The first chapter is wholly rewritten by me when I was writing for a long time. The others aren't edited and as for the writing quality not being up to par; its cuz those chapters were written when I just started. I will edit them later and put a note in the description too. Furthermore, I say you read atleast the free chapters and then tell me as the writing and story gets better.

1yr
Thesilverderp
ThesilverderpLv13

I might, I don't have a lot of free time anymore

PRO_GAMER_2345:Well, I get what you mean. The first chapter is wholly rewritten by me when I was writing for a long time. The others aren't edited and as for the writing quality not being up to par; its cuz those chapters were written when I just started. I will edit them later and put a note in the description too. Furthermore, I say you read atleast the free chapters and then tell me as the writing and story gets better.
1yr
PRO_GAMER_2345
PRO_GAMER_2345Author

I appreciate it. I can assure you that it gets better. Also, no worries about time. Everyone is short of time, so you taking out time for the book is something I will be grateful for.

Thesilverderp:I might, I don't have a lot of free time anymore
1yr
1
Other Reviews
PRO_GAMER_2345
PRO_GAMER_2345Author

Author review, Read this before reading the novel, The pace of the novel is a bit lackluster for first 10 chapters, gets better after that. The chapters are being posted regularly as of now. Other than that, The first volume has a lot of world-building and many new characters are to be introduced. So I would request you to read a bit more before moving on as I have a very big story up ahead.

2yr

funkiller_562
funkiller_562Lv4

Reveal spoiler

2yr
Syler_Blade
Syler_BladeLv15

126 chapter review!!! Warning, possible spoilers!!! First things first, I would like to point out that “overall” the author has done a pretty decent job with this novel and hope he/she continues what they started. With that being said, I have compliled a small list of pros and cons as of chapter 126. Pros: + The writing, for the most part, is fairly well done. + The auther is has been uploading chapters regularly(roughly 5 or so chapters a week at the time of writing this). + So far the story has not stalled and has continued to move forward towards the issues as stated in the summery of the book. + The “World background” foundation is laid and definitely should be able to provide quite a bit of material for the author to build off of. + Starting at around chapter 100ish the auther starts to build the other minor character backgrounds, which I feel helps to add value to the book. CONS: (As with all webnovels, there are flaws and minor issue but I will only list the two biggest ones I see so far.) - So far 0% romance and/or harem at all. This may not be a con to everyone but the book has the “romance” and “harem” tags and it kinda feels like a lie when it seems like 150+ chapters could pass before romance is seen at all. I will say that there has been small hints of interest from possible heroines. - Character development. This is a big one for me. Sure the mc has grown physically more powerful using the system but as a person he has not grown at all. And to make matters worse, there is a huge disconnect between who he is internally and who he is externally. He is needy and childlike with his thoughts and with the system; while at the same time, somehow, he’s an above average, powerful team leader that orders others around like an experienced veteran that has all the answers. Everyone has that thing that bothers them when reading and this is mine, it has made me put the book down mid chapter before and not finish till the next day. Hope this helps potential readers to make a decision, and overall I think it’s a good book with the potential to be a great one depending on character development and how the author handles the harem issue(when it comes).

2yr
Honestwords
HonestwordsLv3

Seeing so many reviews that are basically praising this book like some kind of masterpiece even though it is not, I have to give my honest review on it: It's not a masterpiece. When you start your synopsis by telling people your book is lackluster, you're already telling people not to expect much from the book, which I guess I have to give you credit for telling the truth. The problem was that it was even worse than I thought. It wasn't just lackluster, I felt I was reading a composition writing made by an elementary schooler. When two characters are speaking, you do not need to say things like "To which he said", "To which he replied" etc. That's not how you write dialogue. It really made your story look like everyone is some emotionless NPC that you basically go up to and press the interact key. They will deliver their dialogue, then die the next second because they are emotionless beings of no importance. That's not even mentioning the fact that the entire beginning is just a whole bunch of info dump. What's more, the info dumps are presented like some boring spreadsheet shoved in my face too. I'm here to read a story, not attend your presentation. If I wanted to attend a presentation, I wouldn't be here. I seriously tried to go to the chapter you said would stop being lackluster but the front chapters were already so bad that I was already getting a seizure at chapter 5 so no thanks.

2yr
Melshan
MelshanLv7

HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM HAREM

2yr
fivespite
fivespiteLv12

god I hate harems what are all the readers on this site teen boys who are going through puberty or just straight up 40 year old virgins who have never been with a women harems are trash just straight up garbage

2yr
CHAOS_FOOLISH
CHAOS_FOOLISHLv12

Hello author! I would like to know if there is ntr in the work (I hope not) or yuri (I hope not). I would also like to know if yanderes, and if the protagonist really likes girls, doesn't just use... please answer me

1yr
Dark_knight234
Dark_knight234Lv13

nice story by the way a really great read the beginning is lacking behind a little but it only gets better from there I'm surprised the novel has only 3 votes if recommend this novel any day good work author

2yr
CultivationKing
CultivationKingLv1

Honestly, I'm surprised at the stats for this novel, it should have way more views and power stones. Everything for this novel is great whether it's the grammar, characters etc. I like the idea of getting stronger through the game and it reflects irl because it give the players a reason to try so hard.

2yr
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