webnovel
Aizen_81
Aizen_81Lv12yr
2022-07-15 19:11

I don't understand why he explains and explains to the old man and why he even needs to make up a story. Is he afraid that he won't accept him? Just give him electric shocks and he won't ask again why he's looking for excuses.

Liked by 18 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
VashuRajput269
VashuRajput269Lv14
MLakuru
MLakuruLv4

It's amazing how fanfiction authors can still screw up a story even though they have a complete world and character list that they can copy and take inspiration from the original. You literally have a huge world that you can use for your story but you shrunk it down and half assed it because either you're lazy or you really don't care or try writing a serious story. Lets also not forget how bad of a character you made Enel turn out to be and how overpowered he is. You made any and all forms of conflict obsolete simply because Enel can probably just beat and kill everyone in the story. The characters have had hardly any interactions between each other and there is not depth to any character so far and if there is you did a poor job at it. Simply put, the characters are boring, hollow dolls that I don't care to remember about. The plot is pretty much nonexistent. I truly don't know what or if there are any kind of story being told here. Some nobody gets reborn as Enel. We don't get any sort of development for him so we can't like or care for the character. Not just him(but mostly him) we don't have any plot or story or any details for anything thats going on. You just created some characters and threw them into a poorly made one piece world. I dont know what the goal and motivations of the character are. Whether he has dreams, likes, dislikes, you know core things that make people feel alive? tldr- Nobody gets reborn as Enel in one piece then proceeds to train... and find even better ways to train... Thats it. No one expects fanfiction to be good and your story can be added to the pile of mediocre fics that prove even more that fanfiction authors dont know what they are doing and clearly need to respect the world more. At least your story doesnt have the typical harem, where every girl falls for mc... or it? Wouldnt suprise me if you start thinking with your lower half and turn this into another pokemon collector.

Related Stories

Naruto: About the Fact That my Brother is Madara

Kyōsuke got reincarnated into the world of Naruto in the Warring States period and became an ordinary member of the Uchiha clan. At this time, Uchiha Madara was still just a teenager, the God of Shinobi was still pondering how to make World Peace, Black Zetsu was plotting how to split the moon to save his mother, and the enigmatic Jigen was quietly chanting sutras in a secluded temple. The young Kyōsuke stepped onto the battlefield, but fortunately, he awakened a Point Redemption System, allowing him to trade points earned by killing enemies for various abilities. [Tenseigan, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Divine Tree Seed, SSS-level item, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Truth-Seeking Orbs, SSS-level ability, requires 200,000 points to exchange.] [Yamotsu Hirasaka, SS-level ability, requires 100,000 points to exchange.] Uchiha Madara: "Kyōsuke, you and I as brothers can surely annihilate the Senju Clan together!" Senju Hashirama: "My friend, let’s realize the dream of building Konoha Village together!" Black Zutsu: "Help me save my mother!" Uzumaki Mito: "You promised to marry me—are you trying to go back on your word?" Otsutsuki Kaguya: "This is bad! The clan’s law enforcement team is here. Kyōsuke, defend against them with me!" Otsutsuki Isshiki: "Impossible! How do you know my unique eye technique?!" Uchiha Kyōsuke: "Impossible? Please, I can even hit the moon!" ——————————————————— This is a Translation Raw: 火影:关于我兄弟是斑爷这档事 Author: 闲者阿七 Support me on Patreon to read 20+ Chapters Ahead https://www.patreon.com/Night_FrOst

Night_FrOst_ · Anime & Comics
4.4
249 Chs

Dimensional Trader in Marvel

One day, after waking up from a dream, Josh found himself transported from the 21st century to Chicago in 1943, transformed into a poor young boy on the streets. World War II? For Josh, who wasn't even 18 yet, it seemed too scary. But as an orphan, the most important thing for him was figuring out how to survive in this era. Fortunately, he had a Dimensional Trading System, and in this time, being a Interdimensional trader seemed like it could provide a comfortable life. However, a few months later, just as his life started to improve, Josh stared in silence at the stage of a war charity performance, where Captain America was singing and dancing with a group of girls. It's over. He was doomed. This place was actually the Marvel Universe! ___________________ What to Expect: [Moderate Pace] [Family] [Slice of Life] [Smart MC] [Businessman] [Poor to Rich] [History] [War] [World Conquer] [No Harem (Till Now Atleast)] Worlds in the Fanfic: Crossovers: Marvel, Nosferatu, Peaky Blinders, The Godfather, Mafia Game (Vito and Johnny), Sabrina (1954 film), Dial M for Murder (1954 film), Dracula Untold (Not Sure but there are hints), and more in the future. Other Worlds: The World of WarCraft, Game of Thrones, Red Alert, Equilibrium, I, Robot, and more in the future. Daily Updates!! + Extra Chapters for PS Goals. ___________________ If you want to support and get early access to the chapters, join patreon.com/AHumanMadeMOFO to read 60+ Chapters ahead of others.

AHumanMadeMOFO · Anime & Comics
4.6
232 Chs