Honestly author, I am enjoying this fic. That said, it has its faults. 1) The writing quality is subpar. I don't say that to be mean... it's just the truth. From simple mistakes, like names, places, and dates often being wrong. Then on to more complex issues, such as sentences often making no sense... sometimes to the point of forcing you to re-read them. While these are all small things at first, they quickly become frustrating over the course of the fic. I believe that should you take the time to polish your work a bit... make it shine, so to speak. Perhaps try recruiting an editor, should you not have the time to do so? 2) Another issue is character design. Firstly, your MC comes off a bit shallow, often making outrageous choices (choices which sometimes border on being outright insane) that make no real sense, even from a comedic standpoint. He has character flaws galore, but even when presented the opportunity to address them, he doesn't do so. One example would be his winking... oh, don't even get me started on his winking. Secondly, most of your other characters lack depth. And most only seem to exist to "please/build up" your MC. Fury for example. By later chapters Fury and the MC are close friends... but how did that come about? Why is it that Fury always has the MC's back, even when the MC is clearly in the wrong? And perhaps most importantly, why is he always cursing? I mean, yeah... he's played by Samuel Jackson in the films, but c'mon! It just feels forced. 3) The background of the world you build is also shallow. Ranging from lack of detail, to sometimes giving no detail at all. Dungeons for example. I literally read and re-read chapters 1-20, thinking I missed something. I still couldn't figure out where that became a thing. ***, it wasn't until chapter 40 that I fully understood how they even worked. Details are important! Without them, your readers will have a hard time keeping up. 4) You always come out with new content and do your best to further the story. And I can tell that your readers appreciate it.
Liked by 40 people
LIKE
No replies. Be the first!
