webnovel
Truck_Samaa
Truck_SamaaLv141yr
2023-01-27 22:07

Alright! As I promised, since I've now reach chap 57, I think I'm somewhat qualified to revuiew. Writing quality: Very good, I saw little to no error. Good phrasing, sentencing and nice layout of the paragraphs. 5🌟 Story development: Lets talk about this. 1st: Relationship status: Harem ( This does not mean anything lemme tell ya, the development of each characters can be considered near realistic and mc is not the best in this domain so don't worry about this) 2nd: The pace is very good and I didn't see any plot holes. 3rd: I'm worried about the potential of the story. Like I'm not talking about it going bad, no. I'm talking about the premises you set it upon. (lemme talk about this below in WB) Ngl, its very well made. As it progress, its becoming more and more interesting, however, I'm worried about the potential. Mc rose to power after hardship but a bit too quick since he already want to get in touch with that organistation and foreshadowing, theres's a big fight towards the end of vol2. I highly doubt that it'll reach 500 chapters +. Lets hope I'm wrong and may ladyluck and the literature goddess smile at you. 4🌟 Character design: Amongst the best I've read. 5🌟 Updating stability: Its one chapter every 2~3 days. For it has a lot of words in every chapters, 4🌟 World background: To continue the above, spoiler alert for whoever is reading this. We can expect the organisation to come for the mc in vol 2 but it is connected to Atlantis now so vol 2~3 will surely be based on this war. we can conclude that they will take ~100 chapters. By then mc is going to be strong enough, maybe opening a path to the arcane plane or lily succeed in her plan so vol 4 will be based on that? After that maybe some slice of life and then voldy attack. vol 5. But whats after those. That's what I'm interested in, otherwise this fanfic wouldn't even reach 500 chap. I'm thinking way too ahead maybe but please humour me. Iac 4🌟 Overall: Its a very good HP fanfiction which is heavily changed compared to the rest. I recommend for whoever is reading this to go read if you have not and support the author.

Liked by 13 people

LIKE
Replies10
LuciFer_Kardam
LuciFer_KardamLv4

Bro, can you tell me if it's a harem or not? If it is a harem then who is in the harem? pls, tell me.

Truck_Samaa
Truck_SamaaLv14

So yeah it's said to be harem but we still don't know who the members are. Matter of fact, I doubt mc will find a gf in the first 100 or 200 chapters due to trust issues

LuciFer_Kardam:Bro, can you tell me if it's a harem or not? If it is a harem then who is in the harem? pls, tell me.
LuciFer_Kardam
LuciFer_KardamLv4

Truck_Samaa:So yeah it's said to be harem but we still don't know who the members are. Matter of fact, I doubt mc will find a gf in the first 100 or 200 chapters due to trust issues
Daoist362195
Daoist362195Lv2

Definitely Daphne then some others will get strung along

LuciFer_Kardam:Bro, can you tell me if it's a harem or not? If it is a harem then who is in the harem? pls, tell me.
Veldaza
VeldazaLv4

daphne, Akiko, Martina, Rose potter, and maybe some more

Truck_Samaa:So yeah it's said to be harem but we still don't know who the members are. Matter of fact, I doubt mc will find a gf in the first 100 or 200 chapters due to trust issues
LaziestMan
LaziestManLv4

Read "Cultivation : Level Up with Pills and Herbs" I hope you will enjoy it

Okami9
Okami9Lv3

I think it's only 3, and rose potter doesn't seem very likely

Veldaza:daphne, Akiko, Martina, Rose potter, and maybe some more
Veldaza
VeldazaLv4

have you read every chapter?"

Okami9:I think it's only 3, and rose potter doesn't seem very likely
Karolttott
KarolttottLv1

Hello, my question is, who is in the harem??? I dislike Dafne 🙈 Martina I love her akiko yeah

Truck_Samaa
Truck_SamaaLv14

idrc since it hasn't updated in a while, but the harem is still not official, there is no official relationship established iirc again, but the development is nice, so don't mind that part and focus on storytelling and you'll see that its really actually good

Karolttott:Hello, my question is, who is in the harem??? I dislike Dafne 🙈 Martina I love her akiko yeah
Other Reviews
Primordial
PrimordialLv14
Spelloyal
SpelloyalLv12

Honest Review time. If you want, you can skip the detailed criteria and just read the general evaluation and conclusion. I usually go easy on fanfic and give it 4 or 5 stars unless there's some major or annoying problem that I can't let go, but that's not the case with this fic. I'm giving it a 2,4 because I'm evaluating it mainly on the criteria I use for an original novel and not for a fic. As an original novel, I would give it 3.5 but this fic lost stars for failing in some points as a fanfic. The reason for this is that in addition to being a top-ranked fic, the author actually earns more than a thousand dollars from it on Patreon, charging much more per advanced chapter than an original novel charges per chapter. General Rating:It's an interesting story that's worth reading, but nothing very special., but it's heavily AU to the point where a simple change of name of some locations, spells and characters would make this a generic original novel that begins in an academy and system setting. I don't highly recommend it for those who hope to read a good fic about Harry Potter because they love the original work. I recommend readers start this fic thinking of it as an original novel rather than a fanfic. As an original novel this is an average story, but when placed among fanfics this becomes a top work in the webnovel where chapter releases need to be frequent and this is a great challenge for amateur authors who write for pleasure or as a hobby. Webnovel criteria: 1- Writing Quality - 3 stars: The writing quality is good, at the level of a good author, but there are some problems that anyone who read the entire fic at once notices and that's why I'm giving 3 stars in this category. It is worth mentioning that the author does not even correct errors such as a wrong name even when readers point it out. Examples are like when the MC was undercover and introduced himself to a character using a fake name, but that character called him by his real name, a skill that suddenly changed its name, another skill that should have been the next one to be unlocked in the class progression but it seems like it was simply forgotten as the MC didn't even mention the reason for never picking it up, and finally but most importantly the system became more and more irrelevant as the fic progressed. The system is still there, but it never gets screen time other than giving missions and rewards, and although it still helps the MC progress in some ways, this progression is rarely shown, the system status screen simply no longer appears in the fic. 2- Stability of Updates - 2 stars: It's not very stable, the fic has already gone through long hiatus, the chapters are currently released every two or three days and although it's very good for a fanfic, it's not the case for what it is almost an original novel where the author profits from it. 3- Story Development - 3 stars: It's average, the MC being a thief in a world where everyone is a wizard was interesting, but then ninjas and warriors were added and suddenly the MC is no longer special, just better than the rest, that added some more interesting fights but it took away what was special about MC as the author didn't do a good job of differentiating the Arcane Thief class from a Thief in a generic fantasy setting. As it is a completely AU scenario, there is no way to evaluate how well the author portrayed the events in relation to the original work since nothing more than names, some basic mechanics and some locations follow the original HP so I am once again evaluating it as an original novel and disregarding it. how well the author used the source material to write his fic. 4- Character Design - 1 star: To be honest, in an original novel I would give something like 3 stars since all the heroines are interesting and well written, but the rest of the characters are not developed and totally forgettable. I'm giving this one star because not even striking and easy-to-use characters like Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore were relegated to characters with no presence who barely appear, so in addition to taking off 2 stars because only the MC and Heroines have presence, I'm taking more two for failing as a fanfic to use even something basic from the original material. 5- World Background - 3 stars: It is a generic fantasy setting where we have the world of darkness, the world of light and the weaker human world in between. In the human world we have Atlantis, an advanced and reclusive magical civilization that lost much of its past heritage due to disaster. Nothing bad, but nothing original here. Conclusion: This is less of a fic and more of a generic original novel that is interesting and worth reading, but would never top the rankings when competing with other original novels. When compared to other fics instead of original novels, this one ends up standing out.

Related Stories

One Piece - I Am A Different Luffy!

He is Monkey D. Luffy, but not the original Monkey D. Luffy, because in this world, that one is Lucy, his blood sister, while he had a peaceful childhood with his other three brothers. They all ended up following different paths since he didn’t have his memories. It was only when he entered a barrel lost at sea to save himself that he finally began to regain all the knowledge he had of this world from his past life. On top of that, he realized he could use this knowledge to his advantage to acquire everything he needed on his adventure. He was given four chances to summon people to start his journey, and more importantly, he finally received his two devil fruits, becoming powerful from the very beginning, with a plan that stretched to the end of his adventure. This story is the adventure of a man called Monkey D. Luffy, with the goal of becoming the emperor of all the seas in the world. For that, he will find the One Piece and destroy the World Government, for they cannot coexist. Be it the Marines, government agents, CP units, Tenryuubito, Holy Knights, Gorosei, or Im, Luffy will walk over a mountain of corpses. “I want you in my crew. Together, we will change the whole world and turn it upside down.” “Hahaha. Don’t worry, I believe in your potential, that's why I want you in my crew.” “My swordsman already fought you and lost. Now let’s see the strength of the world’s greatest swordsman too, right, Yamato? I hope you don’t mind fighting two rookies at once...?” “Awaken... Awaken my power... and destroy all your enemies...” “It’s good to see you after so long, Grandpa... and you, sister.” “Monkey D.? The most dangerous family in the world!” “Isn’t it a beautiful scene? Two Shichibukai and a Vice Admiral as my trophies! Come on, take a good picture and put it on tomorrow’s newspaper cover!” “I declare this kingdom my territory!” “Enel, you’re nothing but an idiot with a god complex. If you’re a god... then I’m a god slayer.” “As you said, Teach, people’s dreams never end! And if people’s dreams never end, why should I stop?” “Doflamingo... Jake... you’re so far from home. I hope you don’t regret this.” "You narcissistic woman, how can someone be so annoying and arrogant?" "What did you say, you damned man?!" "I now declare you husband and wife." "It's time to return to the Blue Sea, after all, we have a world to shake." "CP9? What a disappointment, Sengoku. I want money for them and Doflamingo... I want 2 billion berries at Enies Lobby in a few days." "Enies Lobby was completely destroyed...?" "I've fought Mihawk, Jimbei, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Hancock, and Moria... you're the only one left, Kuma..." "It seems we've finally met, Rayleigh..." "Let's invade Impel Down!" "I came here to find you, sister, it's time for you to join my crew... Joygirl..." "It looks like we've finally arrived at the war." "Sengoku... you tried to arm yourself to execute my brother, so I'll make an example of this Tenryuubito for the whole world." "You can't do this...!" *BANG!* "He actually did it, that bastard...." "Your chains are loose, move your ass and get out of Marineford!!" "Saturn!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" "I couldn't kill you last time, Akainu... but I'll make sure to do it now." "Destroy the rest of Marineford." "Let's get out of here. When you return, you'll take over this country for your family, Rebecca." "No matter if we're on opposite sides... I will always love you, grandpa." "It's time to start our training." "Let's begin. Now, let's head to the New World, capture territories, and grow our fleet." "Is the entire Straw Hat fleet ready? Now let's head to Wano, after all, we have a war against two Yonkou!" -------------------------------------------- This Fanfic's Schedule for the week, updates on: Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. ----------------------------------------------

RaccoonLeague · Anime & Comics
4.8
421 Chs

Inner Voice: All Heroines Hear My Inner Voice

Reincarnated and traveling to another world, Eiji Seiya initially thought the world was normal. That was what he thought before he met the heroine and protagonist of the franchise he had watched in his previous life. Not only that, after he awakened the Inner Voice System to grow strong by complaining about plot, heroine and protagonist in his heart to get many rewards. He is determined to increase his power so that he can save his home world, the world where he was reincarnated that was hit by the disaster "Honkai" and save beautiful girls like Kiana, Mai, Bronya, Rita and others who had tragic endings in the original works! "I will save them all!" However... Everything went smoothly... Eiji earned rewards every time he changed the plot in another franchise. It's just that... What's wrong with these heroines? Lala Satalin Deviluke who was supposed to be engaged to the protagonist instead became his fiancée. Sona Sitri suddenly called him to the student council office and said she wanted to make a deal with him. Rias Gremory who was supposed to ask the protagonist for help to solve her political marriage problem with Riser Phenex inexplicably came to him. The girls were disgusted at the protagonists of their respective franchises. Something was wrong here! Not only that, heroines like Kotegawa Yui, Sairenji Haruna, Akeno Himejima, Kuroka, Serafall Leviathan, Grayfia Lucifuge, Sakurajima Mai, Ai Hoshino, Kasumigaoka Utaha and others... They like him! All the super beautiful and sexy women that many men in the world covet surround him and leave their respective protagonists. Grayfia even betrayed her husband. Eiji who saw all this was dumbfounded. At first he was confused as to why these heroines were surrounding him, but gradually he realized and knew that it was all happening because ... His inner voice! - The plot that has been changed by the MC: To Love Ru: 83% Highschool DxD: 82% Shinmai Maou no Testament: 92% Oregairu: 89% Saekano: 84% Oshi no Ko: 100% Rascal Does Not Dream Of Bunny Girl Senpai: 100% Mieruko-chan: 89% Trinity Seven: 38% This is the plot change process of the latest chapter and will change as the story progresses. By the way, the grammar at the beginning is bad and will improve as the chapter progresses. However, my writing style will not change much because this is an inner voice novel, which means that there will be many reactions from each character. Oh and in chapter hundreds there will be a group chat to prevent the loss of interaction between the heroines. It's a special chat group for the heroines in the MC's harem. - Get the latest chapters faster on my patreon. Support me on patreon to keep me motivated to write more chapters: www.patreon.com/DogLicker

DogLickerGods · Anime & Comics
4.7
493 Chs

In Danmachi with Plasmids

One chap every Sunday and Tuesday with the possibility of a bonus one on Thursday. -------- A man who lost his family due to an accident dies from overwork trying to prove himself to society. He gains a second chance in a parallel world studying and researching for decades in order to find a way to travel to other worlds, only to once again die alone, overworked, alone and bored, achieving nothing. In the end, he achieved power, respect, and fame, but he still wasn't satisfied. Yet destiny has something reserved for this hardworking man. Will he now achieve his dreams in a world of magic and Gods, with a power from another world? Or will he be shunned for being different? ----- I have a Patr30n go take a look! You can access advanced chapters there! https://www.p@tr3on.com/AbadomWriter or this one if you are having trouble https://www.p@t3eon.com/AbadomWriter?fan_landing=true And the Discord Server of course https://discord.gg/CfsXtGd4Yb The first chap will be more about exposing the world of Bioshock and how Plasmids works and setting up the storyline for the future. I am not a writer, I do this for fun and you are reading this for free. The minimum you can do is to just leave a reasonable opinion, please don't hate mail me. Work in progress. Tags: Bioshock Danmachi R18- In the medium to far future Slow romance Magic Adventure Gore- In some fighting scenes Action Intelligent Mc Reincarnation Fastpaced- At the start Medium-paced, it's neither slow nor fast. And more to come if I feel like adding them. I don't own the cover image, the world of Danmachi and Bioshock, or the characters apart from the Ocs. Thank you for reading!

Abadom · Anime & Comics
4.7
314 Chs