webnovel
Ashley7Black
Ashley7BlackLv13yr
2021-07-27 13:26

The writing style of the author at the beginning of the story had a nick and pick at places. But the later chaps show that the author has improved his writing style. It is really difficult to follow the schedule and keep up with stable updates. So it is commendable. I like how it was not only abt coming back for his wife but also for his daughter. The daughter's character makes the novel a bit more fluffy. CRITICISM- There are some paras that are loaded with information that makes you wanna skip it(at the beginning of the novel). But it ends up being some useful info which I feel like I later missed. So don't put too much info when a character is introduced-since there are people who try out the novel without having an ounce of knowledge on cultivation. They may feel difficulty in reading it. Except for this, I think it is a great story.

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Replies13
HaoShu
HaoShuAuthor

Thanks for the review really appreciate it will work hard to overcome the critics and definitely improve.

MeowBDS
MeowBDSLv5

Criticisms* not critics, but you're doing great! I like reading books with a good plot, but it has to have good grammar in order for me to even consider reading it. Keep at the great work!

HaoShu:Thanks for the review really appreciate it will work hard to overcome the critics and definitely improve.
Preston_Playz_8167
Preston_Playz_8167Lv4

who are the current part of mc's harem? and their before relationship...

Guan_Yu
Guan_YuLv1

why does it have an harem tag is it harem? what about his beloved daughter like the title says

HaoShu:Thanks for the review really appreciate it will work hard to overcome the critics and definitely improve.
HaoShu
HaoShuAuthor

well woman will do love him because of his behavior and care, but he will always love his first wife the most and teh daughter will always be there with him [img=recommend][img=recommend]

Guan_Yu:why does it have an harem tag is it harem? what about his beloved daughter like the title says
Guan_Yu
Guan_YuLv1

so he will also love his harem? but more his first wife .if yes, I find that annoying for me not even gonna start reading cuz prob gonna get hooked first chapters

HaoShu:well woman will do love him because of his behavior and care, but he will always love his first wife the most and teh daughter will always be there with him [img=recommend][img=recommend]
HaoShu
HaoShuAuthor

it's ur choice [img=recommend][img=recommend]

Guan_Yu:so he will also love his harem? but more his first wife .if yes, I find that annoying for me not even gonna start reading cuz prob gonna get hooked first chapters
ihavesmallPP
ihavesmallPPLv2

So author San will this truly be harem or not?

HaoShu:it's ur choice [img=recommend][img=recommend]
HaoShu
HaoShuAuthor

yes

ihavesmallPP:So author San will this truly be harem or not?
Meds
MedsLv3

Hi author, what makes your story different from many immortal dad's novel out there? can it compare to godly stay home dad? thanks

HaoShu:yes
HaoShu
HaoShuAuthor

my novel has its focus on the fluffyness of the story giving it a family novel which will make u like it[img=recommend][img=recommend]

Meds:Hi author, what makes your story different from many immortal dad's novel out there? can it compare to godly stay home dad? thanks
kuriosoth
kuriosothLv2

its not a family novel if there is a harem ...oh god when will I find a fluff novel with a male protagonist but without a harem... can someone recommend me one?? oh I've already read the one with Zhang han. 😭😭😭

ColdNight
ColdNightLv3

Some of the novel I wrote up here are not on WN

kuriosoth:its not a family novel if there is a harem ...oh god when will I find a fluff novel with a male protagonist but without a harem... can someone recommend me one?? oh I've already read the one with Zhang han. 😭😭😭
Other Reviews
Suiyan
SuiyanLv12

I took my time to finally read it, as I said I would before. Well, take this review with a grain of salt since I'm someone who doesn't like harem stories. Yes, my first issue is with the 'all girls are falling for MC' problem. That truly irritates me, but some people might like it. What about the mc's previous life friends? So far, only five years passed on Earth, right? How come only women keep appearing? Other than you typical villain men, the mc doesn't have a single friend of the same genre. It's all women, women, and more women. Is that even possible? At the very least, that was the case until the chapter I stopped reading. What about his real wife? Like, she is happy he came back... but that is all she feels... It's like she simply doesn't care at all about what happened in the last five years he was gone. It's all 'I'm happy he is back.' 'everything will be fine now that he is back' those are basically the only thoughts in her head. I thought she was supposed to be a much stronger woman after living the challenges of raising a kid five years alone. Suddenly, she became a broken doll out of nowhere. Last but not least, the descriptions. I truly can't emphasize with overly descriptive stories. I don't need to know how beautiful or run-down a place is to its minimal details. All I need to know is that it looks bad or good. Unless the description of a place or things like that is necessary for the story itself, all those detail are completely meaningless. I literally jumped at least 30 to 40% of the paragraphs in the chapters I read because I already knew that it was all a bunch of unnecessary words. I want to read a story, not an architecture project. Give, me, a, story! Of course, there were good points in the story too: Writing quality. It is definitely much better than my own books. Hahaha! I have nothing to complain in this department. Updates are fine too. They are consistent as far as I can see. This is definitely the point of a good author. The story itself had potential, at least when I read the synopsis. It really caught my eye... until the problems I mentioned appeared. PS: This last part is basically a personal taste. It has nothing to do with the author or the story. Anyway, the thing about Chinese names everywhere, including the cultivation world the MC came from. I mean, come on! What are the chances that the guy was Chinese and everyone in his world were all Chinese? The chances are ridiculously low, but that's exactly what happens. Remember, chances wise, that shouldn't be the case at all. As I said, this is just a personal taste. It has nothing to do with the story. If the author wishes that every single stone has a Chinese origin, it is fine.

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