Really interesting concepts and set up. Seems like the story has a few too many ideas that are kinda competing with one another while trying to establish what the plot will be about. I keeps things interesting but also a little unfocused. I feel like the pacing goes a tad too fast at times with too many characters being introduced, too many things happening, and too many rules about how this world works being established one after another. Probably my advice would be trying to espace out the events a bit and focus more on smaller things like character detail. We get things like time travel, aliens, people coming back from the dead, robbery... But I find it hard to get invested cause I feel like I know so little about these people. The dialog also doesn't help. Everyone talks so much but it's mostly exposition explaining what's going on and what they're doing. Dialogs that sometimes go on for gigantic paragraphs. Meanwhile, the actual events like kidnapping a baby only last for a short while. I feel there is a need for people to say less and do more, and allow the reader to learn more from those actions .
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Your suggestions meant a lot to me. I'll consider these. Keep on reading as there's a thrilling war waiting for Rocky and Thomas.
