webnovel
TheRabbitHole
TheRabbitHoleLv103yr
2021-07-20 17:15

Just to be clear, I like the story. It kept me curious enough to follow it through for now. But there is one major issue: the writing needs a lot of improvement. I felt lost at times when I was reading. Structure needs to be fixed and that calls for improvement in Grammar. Sometimes, the writing is unnecessarily descriptive, and sometimes when it needs those descriptions for better understanding, it's just vague or doesn't exist. As for the dialogue, I get the gist of what they're trying to say, but they need changes to make them seem natural and spoken by actual people. Other than that, the story's nice. There's not much world background other than that they live in a super-powered world of some sort. The first 4 chapters that are out are alright for an introduction and I'm sure they'll be much better when the writing is improved. MC is like an angsty teen but I'm sure there's development for him, especially if it's a weak-to-strong type of story. To say it again, I like the story and will follow it for more. ( •̀ ω •́ )y

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chimychimes
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