webnovel
yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor3yr
2021-12-14 12:23

A shameless review and a proper review to post since the novel has reached 100 chapters. So, I would like to establish some thoughts about what you should expect from these 100 chapters. - My writing was decent, and at the beginning of the novel, it was kind of unstable since I was still trying to play with my words. And my style at that phase was not actually accepted by the mass, so I changed it slowly. I can't tell if my writing has improved since it is hard to self-edit since I can't notice my mistakes. Should I hire an editor? It would be impossible since I don't have money and don't have much time to send plenty of chapters to an editor. - The story wasn't established as I wanted to show that the MC was aimless, or rather doesn't have a specific goal to stay except going to the Immortal Heaven where immortals live. It was kind of messy, I agree since all of the encounters the MC had weren't that long. But along with it, after chapters 50 and above, there will be some sign of the plot. And truth be told, the plot was too slow. - Long side stories to make the world background more introduced. But not to the point that it won't be connected with the MC. All of the side stories were made for the plot and a path for the MC's journey. - The character design was a bit off, you may say. He is an immortal sage but still acts like a kid? Well, it will be for character development and part of the plot and discussions about the MC. [May contain spoiler] MC had abilities sealed, but some were activated every time. One of the examples is the Absorption Body, which works with mana and Qi, and I am saying that he also has mind abilities. Let's say that there were some side effects that he still didn't notice as he didn't pay much attention to them since it was natural for him at this point. And I'll mention that in these 100 chapters, only once or twice is his personality pointed out, so in the future chapters you will learn more about the MC. - What to expect in these 100 chapters might have been mentioned but I am getting excited with the world background and the MC's background story. Proper background story to understand the MC more. - The cultivation part, well, the Heaven where the MC was, is the weakest of them all. So, I am telling you that in the upper heavens, you will see what cultivation is. There were mystical arts, and some strong techniques, so expect more when the MC lays his feet on the upper heavens. So, my style wasn't really acceptable and not that good since I started messing up with the readers' thoughts. I also did that with my other work and have still not learned since it comes naturally. So, if it is tolerable, thank you for staying with me.

Liked by 19 people

LIKE
Replies13
Heratles
HeratlesLv13

is this harem?😏

yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

he has plenty of love interests. that's the kind of harem it is. however, as this will be a long run, i will think of putting some sweets into his life. just a little bit from time to time.

Heratles:is this harem?😏
Heratles
HeratlesLv13

yey😊

yohananmikhael:he has plenty of love interests. that's the kind of harem it is. however, as this will be a long run, i will think of putting some sweets into his life. just a little bit from time to time.
hot_papichulo
hot_papichuloLv15

How long are u planning to make the story ?

Zheren
ZherenLv14

I liked that Su girl, Pearl, Felicity, and Rose.

yohananmikhael:he has plenty of love interests. that's the kind of harem it is. however, as this will be a long run, i will think of putting some sweets into his life. just a little bit from time to time.
Dragon8992
Dragon8992Lv15

Hi author there is no description of characters as in how they look like hair and eyes colour other physical characteristics?

yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

I will be adding them. I might have just used common words to describe them like fairy-like or even beautiful. Maybe even just the main details like what their aura is. So I will create an aux chapter for them so you can just easily check them.

Dragon8992:Hi author there is no description of characters as in how they look like hair and eyes colour other physical characteristics?
Draconis0kelly
Draconis0kellyLv15

are you still writing this I've finished up to the paid chapters but didn't want to continue if it's dropped. if you are still putting out chapters I'd love to finish the series

CCP_ARE_RETARDED
CCP_ARE_RETARDEDLv2

is mc has slow progress cultivation or fast pls answer me !!!!!!!!!!!

Sinful_Cyanide
Sinful_CyanideLv15

How about lemons?

yohananmikhael:he has plenty of love interests. that's the kind of harem it is. however, as this will be a long run, i will think of putting some sweets into his life. just a little bit from time to time.
ShadowOrigin
ShadowOriginLv3

Are you still continuing?

Mark_Nile
Mark_NileLv14

Is he still immortal

The_flame
The_flameLv14

good first 100 but trash because the story development self destructions on it Self

Other Reviews
GuzaSan
GuzaSanLv3

LostEra
LostEraLv15

So far I have read the first 30 chapters so this is just an initial impression. I have mixed feelings about this novel so far, a great idea for the story, main character is well described and has an unique character and background, pretty good world building and explanations of how magic helps and not helps with cultivating. But at the same time some of the choices made in the world building and character designs make some of the things I dislike about cultivation / Eastern Fantasy stories inevitable. The main character is a mage who has reached immortality and got bored off it, kills himself and transmigrates to a cultivation world. This is a great story idea and looking at the world building and explanation of how magic works the author shows he thought through how magic should work in a cultivation world. What I find a pity is that the cultivation world is one of those where the strong oppress the weak, everyone is too eager to fight or have too big ego's with not enough self confidence which leads to an excessive urge to show superiority when personal honor is deemed to be slightly attacked, without there being a good explanation for this behavior it feels too much like a forced way to ensure a fight in every city. Also because this behavior results in a lot of fights it is very easy to have a lot of cannon fodder fights for stupid reasons. I don't have a problem with cannon fodder fights but I do have a problem with fights for stupid reasons. Having read many cultivation / eastern fantasy novels the one trend that I experience when reading these novels is that the more forgettable or dumb an opponent is the worse it reflect on the main character (eg if the mc kills a lot of idiots he becomes an idiot killer). Some stories try to fix this by giving these cannon fodder characters a background story but that only improves it if the fight itself starts for a good reason (pretty ladies, not wanting to give an answer or loss of face are more often than not poor reasons to start a fight). And maybe because a lot of novels do follow this pattern it might be seen as part of the genre but I see it more as a symptom of the pressures that daily releases bring with them and this results in authors not having, or maybe taking, enough time to properly plan out the smaller encounters in the story (and as a result I have more problems with these idiotic cannon fodder apearing in the beginning of a novel than when they apear after several 100's of chapters). I'm not sure if this mc has a lot of encounters with idiotic cannon fodder, I haven't read far enough, but the first encounter with cannon fodders did not make me happy, impressed with how magic was used but the reasons for the fight was not very good. And the first fight for a good reason was again not very satisfying because it was a lot of chapters to describe a mass slaughter without any suspense because the mc was already too strong. For such a one sided fight the shorter it is the better. And the last thing I rather not sea in a cultivation / Eastern Fantasy stories are female characters fall in love within a couple of paragraphs. I don't have a problem with the peanut gallery having ladies fall in love at first sight because that is similar to girls and boy bands but when the main heroin, or at least what appears to be a woman who is going to be next to the mc for a lot of chapters, falls in love in a few paragraphs it is for me a signal that the romance is probably not going to be a serious part of the story. Often this becomes an harem story or a story with an far too oblivious mc and those storylines are rarely written in such a way that it doesn't result in ridicule of how fake it feels. And even if it is done for comedic reasons the comedy is not that effective because the romance already feels fake (don't get me wrong it can be done and I have read 1 story that did the harem part well and 1 other story which did the oblivious part well but it is very rare). I like it more when the romance is more build up, even if it is an harem story, and the females not getting a dumb reaction or no reaction at all when they very obviously flirt with the main character. In general I believe that if romance is to be part of a story than let it mean something to the story and don't paste it on just for comedic effect. For now I have seen enough positives to keep reading but at the same time I am weary because I have already seen behavior in the story that usually turns into the stories that I don't like. They are just signals now and I hope they don't turn in the things that make the great idea behind this story turn into the sort of story that there are already too many of.

Poet_Legion
Poet_LegionLv15

literally my only problem with this novel is how horrible the grammar is. And by that I mean that sometimes you can go like two or three paragraphs without seeing anything bad but other times you can read an entire paragraph and have to completely restructure it yourself in order to have it make sense. If you wanted those people that just likes reading on autopilot and doesn't really care what you read and you just want something to read then I'd say that where the grammar is right now to perfect go but if you don't then I would wait till the author fixes the earlier chapters and even later ones from what I've seen him some of the reviews and just clicking through them. The premise is pretty cool in my opinion but it's just hard to get past the first ten chapters if I have to constantly take myself out of the immersion of the story every like three sentences to fix an entire paragraphs worth of words because they're written in the wrong tense, the words are almost completely scrambled and sound like someone's blabbering in a language they don't know or just something similar. I'm sorry if this review seems really harsh but I feel like giving honest opinions is what can help some authors instead of just saying that the grammar is kind of bad because it would be an understatement of my opinion. If you end up fixing the grammar at all I will certainly come back and read this through but until then I don't think it's worth it because it's just too hard on the eyes almost it's hard on The Soul Man

Related Stories

Infinite Evolution System Made Me Too OP!

[Prequel to Infinite Evolution: My Idle Evolution System] ---- [Ding! You have killed Elder Fuk Yu!] [You have obtained 108 Quadrillion Evolution Essence!] [Ding! Would you like to Assimilate the Stats or roll for a Racial Trait of Elder Fuk Yu?] "Roll for a Racial Trait." [Ding! You have acquired the Infinite Fuk Yu Mantra!] ... This is the story of Azmodeus—the only Trial Disciple of the Yang Sect—a boy who was born with everything and absolutely anything that could possibly impede his journey down the limitless road of cultivation. Weakest cultivation talent, weakest spiritual roots, weakest physique... However, it looked reality decided he hadn't suffered enough... On one day no different than the rest for the fourteen-year-old boy, as he was sweeping the courtyard's of the Yang Sect, misfortune struck once again, resulting in a Young Master killing him while in a drunken state... This was where his story ended, and also, where it began anew, and along with it, a system that guaranteed a new story for the boy—a story that would never end! [Ding! You have killed a Supreme Elder of the Godless Sect!] [You have obtained 500 Trillion Evolution Essence!] [Ding! You have leveled up!] [You have leveled up!] [You have leveled up!] [Ding! Would you like to Assimilate the Stats or roll for a Trait of the being you just killed?] "Roll for a Trait." [Ding! You have acquired the Galactic Quantum Flux Racial Trait!] [Your overall combat power has improved by leaps and bounds!] [Ding! Are you ready to pay the price to ascend your plane of existence?] "I am." ... Join Azmodeus on his journey toward a limit that doesn't exist, as he figures out just how far he can Evolve through the killing and Assimilating of other existences! "You say I can sit in a cave and cultivate while having my clones do the killing...?" "There are other System Users!? And I can Assimilate their Systems into my own!?" "This will make too OP..." ... Extremely Fast-Paced System Novel with a bunch of realms and new worlds/areas!! Don't tell me I didn't warn you beforehand!! There will also be comedic and slice of life aspects, even dark at times, so be aware of that before going in... He will become progressively more and more evil, so beware... MC is a Murderhobo and certified Loot Goblin, so keep that in mind as well. This novel is benefit-driven, and things happen for the sole reason of obtaining benefits! No NTR, No Yuri, No Incest, No weak MC's, lot's of grinding those levels!! 500 PS = 1 Extra Chapter 100 GT = 1 Extra Chapter Discord: https://discord.com/invite/FMHsSN3fN8 Patreon: patreon.com/Astral_Pandemonium

Astral_Pandemonium · Eastern
4.4
444 Chs

Concubines Lead to Strength: The Path to Immortality Begins with Taking a Spouse

“What! The young master has married another concubine?” After Gu Changge is bound to the system, sharing innate talent and even cultivation results with a Daoist Couple (wife) is possible. Whether it's consuming elixirs or treasures from heaven and earth, or from daily cultivation, everything can be shared! “Just by binding with one partner, I went from a waste to a spiritual body. What if I had multiple partners?” Since that day, he realized that working hard in cultivation was not as effective as taking in more spouses, and that taking elixirs himself was not as good as feeding his wives! The aloof and warm-hearted sect's holy maiden, the playful imperial princess, the dragon race's transformed girl with white hair... 【Your Daoist Couple has cultivated through the night, shared cultivation progress!】 【Your Daoist Couple has grasped the essence of swordsmanship, shared insights!】 【Your Daoist Couple has consumed a supreme snow lotus, comprehended a law, shared!】 【Dual Cultivating with your Daoist Couple, rewards...】 (Disclaimer: Dual Cultivation is a unique method of cultivation where a man and a woman cultivate together by having sex) As he feeds his wives every day with ease and pleasure, he unknowingly becomes a celestial being, perfects the holy body, and stands above all living beings! (The story is focused on daily life, is lighthearted with a touch of humor, and does not stress the protagonist)

Ancient Keyboard Immortal · Eastern
3.8
246 Chs