webnovel
Gabuji
GabujiLv14yr
2021-04-16 02:56

This is not a story I would normally read. But to me, a story is a story and you did pretty well for the first chapter. It has potential for it's genre but I have to say. You have a lot of run on sentences, and your grammar can use a little work. Besides that, your story got to the point and gave out great visuals. Keep going, I can see this being a great story for those who enjoy this genre. I'll probably come back and keep reading for myself to be honest.

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies1
Madym
MadymAuthor

Thank you soo much and really sorry for the grammar. I'm really finding someone to help me with it.

Other Reviews
Related Stories

Reborn as a Fake Heiress Marrying the Tycoon

Guzi transmigrated into a novel and became a character in a story about a true and false rich heiress. While others who transmigrated into novels become the true heiress, she became the fake heiress. To make matters worse, both she and the true heiress are engaged. She was engaged to the son of a military leader, while the true heiress was engaged to a divorced man with three children from his previous marriage. Guzi's parents, caring for the true heiress, decide to have Guzi marry in her place. In the book, the character "Guzi" was furious and attempted suicide but failed. As a result, she lost the love and favor of her parents. After marrying the divorced man, "Guzi" blamed him for all the wrongdoings and mistreated his children. Eventually, he could no longer tolerate her actions and divorced her. "Guzi" would become a destitute beggar and die miserably on the street. After transmigrating into the book, Guzi left her family and married the divorced man. When she faced the man and his three children, Guzi believed that the original owner of her body made a terrible mistake. This was a painless experience of being a mother without any hardships to endure! On the other hand, the true heiress had to deal with her husband's illegitimate child and fight for family assets. She would lead a daily life full of hardships. The true heiress consoled herself, thinking that she was still better off than Guzi. She had to raise someone else's child and care for an old man. However, one day she sees Guzi stepping out of a luxurious car with a protruding belly, supported by the richest man in the city. Looking aggrieved, Guzi got out of the car and said, "We agreed not to have children!" The man beside her responded tenderly, "Sorry, my mistake."

JQK · Urban
4.6
1131 Chs

Rebirth: Pampered by My Children and Husband

After Lin Xu died, she discovered that the world she was in was a novel. Her eldest son liked to imprison the female protagonist of the novel, engaging in sinister villainous acts with a dark room play. Her youngest son would unfailingly draw substitute's blood and snatch substitutes' kidneys for the female protagonist’s legal antagonist — his unrequited love. Her only daughter was the romantic fool forever revolving around the male protagonist of the novel. If children are not disciplined, the mother is to blame. After being reborn, Lin Xu felt she should step in and discipline her wayward children. However, before she could take action, her eldest son’s dark, handsome, and usually cold face blushed slightly as he asked in a low voice, “Can I touch my head?” The middle son snorted and turned his head, his tone petulant, “I... I don’t want to go home, but if you insist, I'll do it begrudgingly.” The youngest daughter rushed over, mercilessly pushing her brothers aside, “Mom, come and teach me how to solve this problem~” Latter, both sons fought over the bowl of noodles Lin Xu cooked. What was a novel’s female protagonist? Nothing compared to their mother. The daughter transformed herself, letting nothing from any novel’s male protagonist interfere with her studies! The family was blissfully happy. Latter, the revived, amnesiac husband suddenly appeared, cornering her against the wall, his eyes full of struggle, “Even if you're married, I still love you.” Lin Xu pretended to be serious, “Is that so, then what should we do?” He hugged her tightly, his voice muffled and pained, “Divorce him!” Lin Xu chuckled secretly, “I’ll divorce him right away.” Latter, after the husband regained his memory, he said through gritted teeth, “Over my dead body will we divorce!”

Red tea cheese · Urban
4.5
323 Chs

I transmigrated and got a husband and a son!

She was known by many names: Demoness, a wicked witch, an heiress born to rule hell, the baddest, and the most poisonous flower in the world of the underground. Little did everyone know, the heiress of the most mysterious assassination organization had a simple dream. A dream that many girls had: to have a peaceful life with a husband and a kid. That was why when this infamous leader of the assassin organization woke up in the body of Heaven Liu, she thought her lifelong dream had finally come true. But the reality was far from what she expected. Heaven Liu was a has-been actress; she disappeared from the limelight at the peak of stardom. The reason? An unwanted pregnancy. Forced to marry a man she didn’t love, the marriage easily fell apart — almost at the brink of no repair. With this reality she had to face, would she be able to mend the broken hearts of her husband and son? Or will the distance between them continue to widen? With this loveless marriage from the get-go, would there be a chance they could live happily as a family? Or was it too late? Most importantly, would she truly escape the chains she thought she had broken free from? Or would her own hell catch up to her to drag her back to the pits of hell where she belongs? ***** EBOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. LINK: https://a.co/d/bTeyr0B Spanish Translation is also available on Webnovel. Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/transmigr%C3%A9-y-consegu%C3%AD-un-esposo-y-un-hijo!_29071013600828005 Portuguese Translation is also available on Webnovel! Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/eu-transmigrei-e-ganhei-um-marido-e-um-filho!_29287259500602105### German Translation: https://www.webnovel.com/book/ich-bin-ausgewandert-und-habe-einen-mann-und-einen-sohn-bekommen!_29589894400890705 Disclaimer: The cover is not owned by me. All credits go to the artist. This is a part of the author’s Wild Series. Wild Miss Heiress: I reincarnated and got a husband and a son! JOIN MY DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/gXCMQwmrGY

BAJJ · Urban
4.9
1249 Chs

The Substitute Groom Chases His Wife

An Nuan thought that she was going to have her happy ending, marrying the love of her life when the man left her on their wedding day. "Pei Zhi Yi, the moment you step into the elevator, it's over between us." An Nuan thought that she could stop her fiance from leaving, but that man still left for the other woman. The wedding hall was prepared and the guests had all arrived. With no groom beside her, An Nuan decided that she would marry anyone willing. “An Nuan, if you are willing, then how about considering me as your groom?” Unexpectedly, the young master of the Lin family, Lin Xiao Feng stepped forward to offer himself. An Nuan did not expect much from this marriage, especially when they both agreed that they were seeking to gain something through this marriage. Lin Xiao Feng needed someone as his wife in his political career. Meanwhile, she just needed to marry someone to get over Pei Zhi Yi. As someone who was disappointed by love, An Nuan no longer wanted to believe in love. She never thought that the marriage that she did not expect would turn out better than she had expected. Young Master Lin would pamper her and support her whenever she needed help. Wasn’t their marriage just for show? --- Cover and characters Illustration commission by kirinlukis --- Shared universe with: 1. Loving You Too Much 2. True Love and Other Lies 3. A Lifetime with You 4. The Dragon Beside Me 5. Love So Sweet 6. Commander Qi's Runaway Wife 7. The Wedding Planner's Romance 8. The Author Must Die

zetsubouaichan · Urban
4.4
359 Chs