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Brian_Hanes_117
Brian_Hanes_117Lv13yr
2021-06-24 16:07

The writing quality could use some work. Most of it can be fixed with a few formatting changes like capitalizing some letters and finishing quotes. Story development seems to be interesting and solid overall. Character design seems decent, but there are some things that are missed. I think a bit more time could be used to describe how the characters look. The story could also use a bit more description. When it comes to laying out the setting and describing the characters in more detail. World background is pretty good but, could use a bit more detail. I like how this is a more light-hearted story and isn't a crazy story about monsters. No disrepsect to those stories, some are great. It's just refreshing to get a more normal and realistic one. Keep working author, there is always room for growth. I look forward to seeing what comes next.

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