Original but boring. Things I liked: The MC is basically an in-game scholar which is a cool new take that I wish had more play. Their family owns the game in addition to a bunch of other cool sci-fi related products/labs which is both an interesting character background and could wow the reader with ideas about the future. (Unfortunately, so far it is way underused) The world is a mix of different cultures from around the world and throughout history which hopefully means breaking away from East Asia/Europe (which is the generic setting for many of these). The fights are interesting and well done. The downsides: All of this sounds amazing but the delivery just felt flat to me. The only two cool sci-fi things actually mentioned are the video game and something to generate energy. The world feels modern rather than futuristic because of this. The family isn't interesting. Nothing wrong with that IRL but in a story it means that the chapters with the father drag due to a lack of interest. The sister is so in and out that she isn't much of a character. Again it makes sense why this would be IRL but in a story we need characters that grow and are interesting. There are glimmers of this with the MC's schoolmates and the former rankers in game but they aren't given enough time/enough of a spotlight to develop into anything. The game story is really slow. I don't really care about him doing a quest that everyone else has to do, just slightly quicker. The ghost sub plot is great but is buried under ... an escort quest that he takes for ??? reasons? The quest to gain Gaia's interest was cool too but the rewards were uninteresting. Ultimately his rewards are bland (50 chapters in and there is nothing that stands out), his actions are uninspired (there are no cool finding hidden treasures or bosses, just knowing how to get a base class), and when he does get interesting quests he either ignores them (he ignores the ghost until he can't anymore) or declines them (The oracle's epic quest). When the author mentioned the world was a mix of ours, I was hoping for a hybrid and therefore new culture. Not just a copy paste of cultures in different places, and those places are just European ones we have all seen before. Verdict: Worth a read to see if it is for you. The author may well be on to something eventually but I'm not willing to slog through more chapters to get to 'the good stuff'.
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What an amazing review. Thank you! I agree with almost everything, especially that it's rather slow. Pacing has been a major concern for me, and I'm still not sure how I'd have better skipped over the boring parts at the start. I was trying to focus more on the mechanics to begin with, making sure the readers understood what I was talking about when I threw around game terminology, so I feel that may have bogged down what I could have ultimately skipped over in about three or four chapters. One thing I wanted to clarify was that the ghost subplot and the escort quest weren't supposed to be linked. The mention of the quest was just supposed to point out that the oracle foresaw potential future incidents with the ghost, or that her envoy would have gotten caught up in what occurred in chapter 61, etc. And as for the reason why Merlin took his quest in the first place, it was just meant to be him picking up a handful of quests in the same area to maximise profits. He did the same thing in regards to the bandit camp quests. Regardless, I appreciate that you gave my book a chance and I thank you for the review. This is my debut novel, so I'm still working out a bunch of issues, if you have any further critiques or advice to give, I'd be glad to hear them!
Only thing I would want to say is keep going! :) I do think you have a talent for this. As a first work, this is a very strong effort! It may not be for me at the minute but this is well well above the average new novel on here. I guess I had in mind a few stories when I was reading this and then writing the review. There was a translated story I read years ago whose name I have forgotten. The MC through reading at a library gets a rare class, 'archeologist', and through that had a unique class with unique problems (he could wear any artifact but he could ONLY wear artifacts). LMS, Ark, Taming Master, and others do something similar with the MC getting a unique class due to doing something odd but that particular novel reminded me of this book as in both I was keen to see what the author was going to do with a lore based character. Another option is to have the MC pursue a unique build from early on (Emperor of Solo Play, One Man Army, and so on). Whatever option is picked, it provides a clearer direction for the character with progress towards the goal feeling more interesting. That is my two cents anyway which is probably not even worth that much. And like I said at the start you are doing really well! I look forward to trying your second book!
TechnexGames:What an amazing review. Thank you! I agree with almost everything, especially that it's rather slow. Pacing has been a major concern for me, and I'm still not sure how I'd have better skipped over the boring parts at the start. I was trying to focus more on the mechanics to begin with, making sure the readers understood what I was talking about when I threw around game terminology, so I feel that may have bogged down what I could have ultimately skipped over in about three or four chapters. One thing I wanted to clarify was that the ghost subplot and the escort quest weren't supposed to be linked. The mention of the quest was just supposed to point out that the oracle foresaw potential future incidents with the ghost, or that her envoy would have gotten caught up in what occurred in chapter 61, etc. And as for the reason why Merlin took his quest in the first place, it was just meant to be him picking up a handful of quests in the same area to maximise profits. He did the same thing in regards to the bandit camp quests. Regardless, I appreciate that you gave my book a chance and I thank you for the review. This is my debut novel, so I'm still working out a bunch of issues, if you have any further critiques or advice to give, I'd be glad to hear them!
Thank you! And i'd say your two cents definitely hold value. Not only have you told me specifically what you find wrong with detail and examples, you've given me a few possible avenues to explore so that I can improve. You've put a lot of thought into your review and response, and it helps. Thanks again!
Saarlink:Only thing I would want to say is keep going! :) I do think you have a talent for this. As a first work, this is a very strong effort! It may not be for me at the minute but this is well well above the average new novel on here. I guess I had in mind a few stories when I was reading this and then writing the review. There was a translated story I read years ago whose name I have forgotten. The MC through reading at a library gets a rare class, 'archeologist', and through that had a unique class with unique problems (he could wear any artifact but he could ONLY wear artifacts). LMS, Ark, Taming Master, and others do something similar with the MC getting a unique class due to doing something odd but that particular novel reminded me of this book as in both I was keen to see what the author was going to do with a lore based character. Another option is to have the MC pursue a unique build from early on (Emperor of Solo Play, One Man Army, and so on). Whatever option is picked, it provides a clearer direction for the character with progress towards the goal feeling more interesting. That is my two cents anyway which is probably not even worth that much. And like I said at the start you are doing really well! I look forward to trying your second book!
amazing
*Pssss* Stay quiet... Tis a rare sighting of helpful constructive discourse between a critic and an author. No toxicity or banter. My lord, I must salvage this moment.
TechnexGames:Thank you! And i'd say your two cents definitely hold value. Not only have you told me specifically what you find wrong with detail and examples, you've given me a few possible avenues to explore so that I can improve. You've put a lot of thought into your review and response, and it helps. Thanks again!
Ahaha.
djew:*Pssss* Stay quiet... Tis a rare sighting of helpful constructive discourse between a critic and an author. No toxicity or banter. My lord, I must salvage this moment.
it is true that in some aspects there is a lack of creativity but the mc not overly interacting with others is a pro for me instead of a con since it makes it feel like irl which adds a unique charm that i dont find in many other works.
