Review Detail of Dedz_ in Duality or destiny?

The concept is pretty unique where the main character's body swaps to others, not just on webnovel, but also outside the webnovel. It reminds me of the manga I finished reading where the MC swaps others' bodies. Now for the writing quality, it's pretty decent. However, the paragraphs are long, the readers would drown from the wall of text. I suggest you should keep each paragraph with 2-3 sentences to make the readability runs like streams of water. Also, one more thing, the paragraphs should have only one character involved in them. For example: It's not-> "What's your name?" asked the teacher while her dominant thumb scrolling up her phone's screen like there was no tomorrow. "M-my name's Jeff," he replied, shaking as if his whole essence became the earthquakes of nervousness. But-> "What's your name?" asked the teacher while her dominant thumb scrolling up her phone's screen like there was no tomorrow. "My name's Jeff," he replied, shaking as if his whole essence became like the earthquakes of nervousness. I'm just a small author, but that's my advice for you to make the novel's narratives flow better. Keep writing and good luck!